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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2016 12:41:34 GMT -5
I use food as a consolation prize. I didn't get laid...didn't even get the feeling that a man desired me...so here's some chocolate, instead.
And then if I don't get what I really want for TOO long, I start to think, "Why bother keeping my weight down and staying in shape? Nobody's paying any attention anyway." Of course that's a vicious cycle. Nobody will look at me if I'm too fat.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 6, 2016 14:46:14 GMT -5
yes, my body most definitely did change. after my kidz i started getting hormonal weight gains. no exercise could change it what so ever. Then when my refuser started cheating and had wanted another wife, I gained a lot of weight.
my weight has gone down and its gone up a lot now. more than I'd like to admit.
my great great aunt though is helping me with some vitamins to help with my energy and stamina. Basically, I'm so stressed that I have too much inflammation. so ..... soon I'l be taking turmeric with black pepper for inflammation and a crap load of B vitamins.
I have 3 kidz with autism and my husband doesn't help much with that.
So yes, stress from being ignored, stress from kidz, etc. I am hoping to turn my health around. Doctors have NOT been helping what so ever. Test after test after test showed nothing.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2016 20:09:59 GMT -5
I am a complete carb and sugar addict. I definitely use food for comfort, but in the end it leaves me feeling like crap. I read somewhere that you have to keep promises made to yourself, and based on that I have failed myself for years, I don't know what is wrong with me..I seem to make excuses not to exercise when I know I should, I make excuses so I can eat crap, and I have excuses for why I stay in this freaking sm... I have to just get off my ass and do something that would make me feel better Inside and out. I did this too - eating unhealthy food and too much of it, not exercising when I knew it would make me feel better. I was so miserable in my marriage, had withdrawn from friends and family. I'm not sure what finally made me start to claw my way out of it, but it started with asking a friend to help me start lifting weights. It took some time and a few setbacks, but I started running again and lost the weight. I can't exercise right now because of my eye and I can't even tell you how much I miss it. When I was first getting back into cardio, I made a commitment to myself that I would do 15 minutes of some type of exercise every single day - it didn't matter what kind - a walk, some sit-ups and leg exercises, a bike ride, anything at all. I had more than a few nights of looking at the clock and realizing I was going to have to go for a walk at 10:00 at night because I had let the whole day slip away. It wasn't so hard to do because I had made the time commitment reasonable. Anyway, it helped me get rolling again. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2016 22:48:17 GMT -5
I am a complete carb and sugar addict. I definitely use food for comfort, but in the end it leaves me feeling like crap. I read somewhere that you have to keep promises made to yourself, and based on that I have failed myself for years, I don't know what is wrong with me..I seem to make excuses not to exercise when I know I should, I make excuses so I can eat crap, and I have excuses for why I stay in this freaking sm... I have to just get off my ass and do something that would make me feel better Inside and out. I did this too - eating unhealthy food and too much of it, not exercising when I knew it would make me feel better. I was so miserable in my marriage, had withdrawn from friends and family. I'm not sure what finally made me start to claw my way out of it, but it started with asking a friend to help me start lifting weights. It took some time and a few setbacks, but I started running again and lost the weight. I can't exercise right now because of my eye and I can't even tell you how much I miss it. When I was first getting back into cardio, I made a commitment to myself that I would do 15 minutes of some type of exercise every single day - it didn't matter what kind - a walk, some sit-ups and leg exercises, a bike ride, anything at all. I had more than a few nights of looking at the clock and realizing I was going to have to go for a walk at 10:00 at night because I had let the whole day slip away. It wasn't so hard to do because I had made the time commitment reasonable. Anyway, it helped me get rolling again. I LOVE the 15 min/day RULE! I use that one too. Everyday, and keep a log. 90% of the time, after the forced 15 minutes, you'll want to continue to failure -- especially when you're in shape. |
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Post by Isabellas39 on Apr 7, 2016 9:05:23 GMT -5
I am a complete carb and sugar addict. I definitely use food for comfort, but in the end it leaves me feeling like crap. I read somewhere that you have to keep promises made to yourself, and based on that I have failed myself for years, I don't know what is wrong with me..I seem to make excuses not to exercise when I know I should, I make excuses so I can eat crap, and I have excuses for why I stay in this freaking sm... I have to just get off my ass and do something that would make me feel better Inside and out. I did this too - eating unhealthy food and too much of it, not exercising when I knew it would make me feel better. I was so miserable in my marriage, had withdrawn from friends and family. I'm not sure what finally made me start to claw my way out of it, but it started with asking a friend to help me start lifting weights. It took some time and a few setbacks, but I started running again and lost the weight. I can't exercise right now because of my eye and I can't even tell you how much I miss it. When I was first getting back into cardio, I made a commitment to myself that I would do 15 minutes of some type of exercise every single day - it didn't matter what kind - a walk, some sit-ups and leg exercises, a bike ride, anything at all. I had more than a few nights of looking at the clock and realizing I was going to have to go for a walk at 10:00 at night because I had let the whole day slip away. It wasn't so hard to do because I had made the time commitment reasonable. Anyway, it helped me get rolling again. That's a great idea and sounds very doable, thank you !! |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 8, 2016 22:44:24 GMT -5
I have never been skinny but I have gained a lot of weight in the past 15 years, especially in the last few years. I didn't see the point in losing weight if there was nobody was going to appreciate it. Here's some of my own twisted logic... If I'm out of shape, I can delude myself that it's the reason she's not interested (even though the issue existed long before that). But if I became a fitness nut, I'd have to face the reality. |
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 9, 2016 1:05:03 GMT -5
I am not sure I fully understand that. My husband lack of interest was not because of my weight. But he did comment on my weight a lot. I didn't like his comments especially because he made it so clear I was not good enough for him. I think the idea of losing weight felt like giving in to him far too much.
I was only slightly overweight before our sexlessness and even than he used to comment on my weight.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2016 9:05:41 GMT -5
Here's some of my own twisted logic... If I'm out of shape, I can delude myself that it's the reason she's not interested (even though the issue existed long before that). But if I became a fitness nut, I'd have to face the reality. Totally get this! When I was out of shape, I could look in the mirror and blame his disinterest on the way I look. Much easier than admitting he just didn't love me. However, it works the other way, too. About three years ago, I got serious about getting back in shape and as I got more and more fit, I actually felt better and better about myself, and I started putting the blame for my SM where it belonged - on him. It was another of the factors that gave me the strength to change my situation. But even if I hadn't decided to leave, getting back in shape changed a lot of things for the better, not just my physical appearance and health. It put me back in contact with a group of friends that bring a lot of laughter and happiness into my life. It means so much when you show up for a group activity and everyone is excited to see you, just because they enjoy your company. So, that's my long-winded way of saying it was worth getting in shape, even though it did indeed bring home the hopeless of changing my SM. |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 11, 2016 15:24:17 GMT -5
yes, my body most definitely did change. after my kidz i started getting hormonal weight gains. no exercise could change it what so ever. Then when my refuser started cheating and had wanted another wife, I gained a lot of weight. my weight has gone down and its gone up a lot now. more than I'd like to admit. my great great aunt though is helping me with some vitamins to help with my energy and stamina. Basically, I'm so stressed that I have too much inflammation. so ..... soon I'l be taking turmeric with black pepper for inflammation and a crap load of B vitamins. I have 3 kidz with autism and my husband doesn't help much with that. So yes, stress from being ignored, stress from kidz, etc. I am hoping to turn my health around. Doctors have NOT been helping what so ever. Test after test after test showed nothing. That sounds like a lot of stress. I'm sure that the Doctors not being able to help is depressing also. But stay strong and be as healthy as you can. (he said lighting a cigarette) And know we are here for you. |
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 11, 2016 19:06:25 GMT -5
yes, my body most definitely did change. after my kidz i started getting hormonal weight gains. no exercise could change it what so ever. Then when my refuser started cheating and had wanted another wife, I gained a lot of weight. my weight has gone down and its gone up a lot now. more than I'd like to admit. my great great aunt though is helping me with some vitamins to help with my energy and stamina. Basically, I'm so stressed that I have too much inflammation. so ..... soon I'l be taking turmeric with black pepper for inflammation and a crap load of B vitamins. I have 3 kidz with autism and my husband doesn't help much with that. So yes, stress from being ignored, stress from kidz, etc. I am hoping to turn my health around. Doctors have NOT been helping what so ever. Test after test after test showed nothing. That sounds like a lot of stress. I'm sure that the Doctors not being able to help is depressing also. But stay strong and be as healthy as you can. (he said lighting a cigarette) And know we are here for you. lol thanx. yes this is my 3erd? day taking my B vitamins. and I can really tell a diff. but i'm still taking my exercise slow. i don't want to overdo it so to speak. I want to gradually increase it |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 14, 2016 15:46:19 GMT -5
That's the way to do it. Slowly building it up and passionately, with you're whole body until you're tired and sweaty.
Sorry I got carried away.
I'll take a cold shower now....
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