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Post by ggold on Jul 3, 2016 22:32:02 GMT -5
Feeling this way tonight. This song..... :-(
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Post by baza on Jul 3, 2016 23:06:16 GMT -5
Dysfunctional marriage fucks with your head, gets you thinking weird shit, gets you making uninformed choices that feed back in to the loop.
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Gradually *one* disappears.
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That's "where one went".
And at least to an extent, that's where one still is.
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And there's the rub. one needs to be somewhere near ones best to climb out of the hole, and usually one is FAR from being at ones best and oftentimes, there is a spouse who has a vested interest in keeping one right where one is - in an ILIASM shithole.
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I think this is where things like -
- personal counselling
- talking openly to a close friend
- joining groups like this one
come in to their own as support mechanisms.
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They can help us recognise the reality of our situations, and that's the first building block in constructing ones way forward.
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Unfortunately, this recognising the reality of ones situation marks a point where things only get harder, short term, and if one has been sufficiently brow-beaten, it will be very VERY hard to put that first building block in place - at this time, at least.
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I believe that the "authentic self" is still in there somewhere.
And, if you can nurture and develop that authentic self, then the authentic you will sort your situation out.
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Under our common circumstances, if *you* concentrate on *you* and let the authentic *you* loose, the authentic *you" will do the rest.
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But it is a hellova process to help the authentic you emerge, and that, is only the start of it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2016 10:06:28 GMT -5
ggold you are still in there, dear friend, underneath all the things you've experienced, conquered and felt. Are you the same? No. But, if you were you would not be the amazing woman you are today. Allow yourself a moment to honor the "lost" feeling, because it is ok to look back at the possibilities of the past. Then, acknowledge that whether you are where you wanted to be, or not, the decisions you made brought you to this point. And, you are a stronger and wiser person for it. So, I dedicate another Sara Bareilles song to you, because it ALSO reflects who you are today. Be gentle with yourself, sweetie. Btw, when we have girls' weekend in NYC, we HAVE to see "Waitress."
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Post by ggold on Jul 4, 2016 12:07:25 GMT -5
ggold you are still in there, dear friend, underneath all the things you've experienced, conquered and felt. Are you the same? No. But, if you were you would not be the amazing woman you are today. Allow yourself a moment to honor the "lost" feeling, because it is ok to look back at the possibilities of the past. Then, acknowledge that whether you are where you wanted to be, or not, the decisions you made brought you to this point. And, you are a stronger and wiser person for it. So, I dedicate another Sara Bareilles song to you, because it ALSO reflects who you are today. Be gentle with yourself, sweetie. Btw, when we have girls' weekend in NYC, we HAVE to see "Waitress." Love you!! Love this song. YES to Waitress....come soon!!!! xoxoxo |
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sufferinhubby
Junior Member
My marriage is not a tragedy. It's more like a romantic comedy without the romance
Posts: 67 
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by sufferinhubby on Jul 5, 2016 8:33:29 GMT -5
How did you find that song?? It really expresses the feelings that those of us in the ILIASM community feel - wow!
Our work in this community is to find ourselves again, and to cease being partially defined by dysfunctional people in our lives. They want to make us feel less than we are and we should not allow them - even if we are bound to them.
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 5, 2016 9:22:03 GMT -5
I love Sara Barieles! Brave was the song i would exercise to amongst other songs but it got me through a lot of emotional issues. Then right after my divorce I heard She Used to be Mine really spoke to me.
Count me in for a trip to NYC I bought the soundtrack to Waitress back in January and the music and story is great.
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Post by ggold on Jul 5, 2016 11:58:14 GMT -5
I love Sara Barieles! Brave was the song i would exercise to amongst other songs but it got me through a lot of emotional issues. Then right after my divorce I heard She Used to be Mine really spoke to me. Count me in for a trip to NYC I bought the soundtrack to Waitress back in January and the music and story is great. Definitely a trip to NYC!! Show, dinner...!!! Would love it!!! |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 12:01:32 GMT -5
I love Sara Barieles! Brave was the song i would exercise to amongst other songs but it got me through a lot of emotional issues. Then right after my divorce I heard She Used to be Mine really spoke to me. Count me in for a trip to NYC I bought the soundtrack to Waitress back in January and the music and story is great. My daughter and I studied and mastered the Brave video dance. We were pretty good at it too! |
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 5, 2016 13:11:10 GMT -5
I love Sara Barieles! Brave was the song i would exercise to amongst other songs but it got me through a lot of emotional issues. Then right after my divorce I heard She Used to be Mine really spoke to me. Count me in for a trip to NYC I bought the soundtrack to Waitress back in January and the music and story is great. My daughter and I studied and mastered the Brave video dance. We were pretty good at it too! Very cool!! You are a great dad!! |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 23:26:44 GMT -5
How did you find that song?? It really expresses the feelings that those of us in the ILIASM community feel - wow! Our work in this community is to find ourselves again, and to cease being partially defined by dysfunctional people in our lives. They want to make us feel less than we are and we should not allow them - even if we are bound to them. It's from the Broadway musical "Waitress," based on the movie with Keri Russell. Growing up, I was a competitive tap dancer and musical theater was my escape. I can still throw some mean Fossesque jazz hands when I need to. |
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Post by ggold on Jul 6, 2016 0:38:57 GMT -5
How did you find that song?? It really expresses the feelings that those of us in the ILIASM community feel - wow! Our work in this community is to find ourselves again, and to cease being partially defined by dysfunctional people in our lives. They want to make us feel less than we are and we should not allow them - even if we are bound to them. It's from the Broadway musical "Waitress," based on the movie with Keri Russell. Growing up, I was a competitive tap dancer and musical theater was my escape. I can still throw some mean Fossesque jazz hands when I need to. I love the theater and wish I got involved when I was younger. I have taken vocal lessons for several years and can belt out many Broadway tunes!! (Not that anyone wants to hear me!! lol!) Z, you have to meet my friend. She was a dancer on Broadway when she was younger and she was in A Chorus Line!!!!! |
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Post by Dan on Jul 6, 2016 9:41:30 GMT -5
WOW. What a powerful song.
Showing exhaustion yet strength; uncertainty yet courage; struggle yet such heart.
There is a deep melancholy for the "self" that has been lost... yet hopefulness in that that "self" is at least remembered, and just might yet be again someday.
So real.
SO HUMAN.
Powerful vocal and piano setting by Sara Bareilles... but the lyrics are phenomenal.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 10:02:39 GMT -5
It's from the Broadway musical "Waitress," based on the movie with Keri Russell. Growing up, I was a competitive tap dancer and musical theater was my escape. I can still throw some mean Fossesque jazz hands when I need to. I love the theater and wish I got involved when I was younger. I have taken vocal lessons for several years and can belt out many Broadway tunes!! (Not that anyone wants to hear me!! lol!) Z, you have to meet my friend. She was a dancer on Broadway when she was younger and she was in A Chorus Line!!!!! I'm dyin'!!!! Love, love, love "A Chorus Line." Knowing you, I had no problem picturing you belting out "Defying Gravity." Note to self: spare change jar is designated "NYC Girls' Weekend" fund. |
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