|
|
Post by Pinkberry on Jun 22, 2016 23:39:47 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by darktippedrose on Jun 23, 2016 0:54:22 GMT -5
I'd be good with 2-3x a week plus a crap load of cuddling and booty rubs
|
|
unkakris
Junior Member
Trying to Figure This Out
Posts: 86 
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by unkakris on Jun 23, 2016 1:10:31 GMT -5
I'd be good with 2-3x a week plus a crap load of cuddling and booty rubs Sign me up! |
|
|
|
Post by baza on Jun 23, 2016 1:43:13 GMT -5
You know that intense anticipation in the lead up to having a root with your beloved ?
That excitement as the deed gets underway ?
The building sense of one-ness as things progress ?
The sheer animal pleasure as orgasm nears ?
The bliss as the dam wall breaks and you get swept away, out of control ?
The heightened senses as you gradually come down from the rush ?
The feeling of total relaxation in the afterglow ?
The playful touching and repartee afterward ?
The knowing looks at each other hours or days after ?
-
*THESE* are the roots that count in a relationship in my opinion. And by 'count' I mean 'matter' rather than a numerical count sense.
The roots that leave you feeling treasured and valued, sated and satisfied, loving and loved.
The roots that connect you.
-
Or a "Duty" starfish root ?
Count it ?
Yeah, if you want to, but personally, I don't think they count at all. Even 12 of them in a year.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 2:32:54 GMT -5
"I do think couples can end up feeling pressure to try to engage in sex as frequently as possible..."
In terms of frequency there may come a point when you're just doing it for the sake of doing it. That point is going to be different for everyone. To me, I like to wait until just when that delicious craving starts stirring. That's the feeling that leads to the kind of sex that just flows because you're not thinking about it, where human passion and animal desire guide you rather than statistics. Without that craving, sex can still be good, but I would get diminishing returns. For us this plays out to once or twice a week. For others, once or twice a day. What matters is not how often you do it but how good it is when you do.
|
|
|
|
Post by deleted on Jun 23, 2016 2:35:32 GMT -5
Once a week sounds pretty good to me. That would be a 600% improvement.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 6:27:16 GMT -5
You know that intense anticipation in the lead up to having a root with your beloved ? That excitement as the deed gets underway ? The building sense of one-ness as things progress ? The sheer animal pleasure as orgasm nears ? The bliss as the dam wall breaks and you get swept away, out of control ? The heightened senses as you gradually come down from the rush ? The feeling of total relaxation in the afterglow ? The playful touching and repartee afterward ? The knowing looks at each other hours or days after ? - *THESE* are the roots that count in a relationship in my opinion. And by 'count' I mean 'matter' rather than a numerical count sense. The roots that leave you feeling treasured and valued, sated and satisfied, loving and loved. The roots that connect you. - Or a "Duty" starfish root ? Count it ? Yeah, if you want to, but personally, I don't think they count at all. Even 12 of them in a year. As an aside, those interested in sexting would do well to understand this post. This is erotic, and lo and behold, PG rated. There are no anatomical details to be found. What makes it erotic is not explicit play by play color commentary on the acts and body parts, but what's going on behind it. It's the emotional connection behind your wet kitty and erect nipples and his pulsating masculinity slowly stretching you as it plunges into the depths of your loins. All very well, but the engorgement of your heart has to be in there too. How when you feel his skin against yours, no one and nothing else in the universe exists, only each other and your embrace, and time itself stops and watches with envy as your bodies become one and your souls melt into each other. Falling, falling into you forever. Sleepless night last night, somewhat delirious. |
|
|
|
Post by cagedtiger on Jun 23, 2016 7:35:42 GMT -5
"I do think couples can end up feeling pressure to try to engage in sex as frequently as possible..." In terms of frequency there may come a point when you're just doing it for the sake of doing it. That point is going to be different for everyone. To me, I like to wait until just when that delicious craving starts stirring. That's the feeling that leads to the kind of sex that just flows because you're not thinking about it, where human passion and animal desire guide you rather than statistics. Without that craving, sex can still be good, but I would get diminishing returns. For us this plays out to once or twice a week. For others, once or twice a day. What matters is not how often you do it but how good it is when you do. In all my previous relationships, it never came to a point of "sex because we should be doing this." It was always "I can't keep my hands off you, and I don't want to," or "we're flirting our brains out while we do this thing and have basically turned it into foreplay," or "I'm a very physical creature and something as simple as drawing a breath will put me in the mood," on the part of one or both of us. We had sex because we genuinely craved the other person physically, not out of any sense of obligation or duty. It's a big part of why my situation feels so very alien to me. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 7:41:28 GMT -5
"I do think couples can end up feeling pressure to try to engage in sex as frequently as possible..." In terms of frequency there may come a point when you're just doing it for the sake of doing it. That point is going to be different for everyone. To me, I like to wait until just when that delicious craving starts stirring. That's the feeling that leads to the kind of sex that just flows because you're not thinking about it, where human passion and animal desire guide you rather than statistics. Without that craving, sex can still be good, but I would get diminishing returns. For us this plays out to once or twice a week. For others, once or twice a day. What matters is not how often you do it but how good it is when you do. In all my previous relationships, it never came to a point of "sex because we should be doing this." It was always "I can't keep my hands off you, and I don't want to," or "we're flirting our brains out while we do this thing and have basically turned it into foreplay," or "I'm a very physical creature and something as simple as drawing a breath will put me in the mood," on the part of one or both of us. We had sex because we genuinely craved the other person physically, not out of any sense of obligation or duty. It's a big part of why my situation feels so very alien to me. Right, you did what came naturally. You would have eventually had some threshold of pressure, for you maybe it would have been three times every day. But you never pushed yourself there just because some article or study says you should have more sex. |
|
|
|
Post by Pinkberry on Jun 23, 2016 13:33:00 GMT -5
"I do think couples can end up feeling pressure to try to engage in sex as frequently as possible..." In terms of frequency there may come a point when you're just doing it for the sake of doing it. That point is going to be different for everyone. To me, I like to wait until just when that delicious craving starts stirring. That's the feeling that leads to the kind of sex that just flows because you're not thinking about it, where human passion and animal desire guide you rather than statistics. Without that craving, sex can still be good, but I would get diminishing returns. For us this plays out to once or twice a week. For others, once or twice a day. What matters is not how often you do it but how good it is when you do. In all my previous relationships, it never came to a point of "sex because we should be doing this." It was always "I can't keep my hands off you, and I don't want to," or "we're flirting our brains out while we do this thing and have basically turned it into foreplay," or "I'm a very physical creature and something as simple as drawing a breath will put me in the mood," on the part of one or both of us. We had sex because we genuinely craved the other person physically, not out of any sense of obligation or duty. It's a big part of why my situation feels so very alien to me. I think all of us here at ILIASM had those sorts of relationships before our SM. And yet we ended up with these...duds. I hate to use the word as apparently it was an early and derogatory term for asexuals. I have nothing against asexuals save for when they marry others without being up front. But really, other than refuser, what other word seems to fit? I often wonder how we the refused felt a connection and attraction and even had a lot of sex with our refusers until we were married for a time. How could we have known before? I think the signs I had were more pointing towards what an asshole he was, but really refuser would not have crossed my mind until it hadn't crossed my body in a very long time. |
|
|
|
Post by iceman on Jun 23, 2016 15:05:41 GMT -5
My ideal would probably be twice on the weekends when we could take our time and do it right and once during the week to take the edge off during the work week. I would like more but at that level I'm satisfied and on an even keel. Any less and I get grumpy. I've been VERY grumpy for a long time ..... Like my entire marriage!!!  |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 16:08:09 GMT -5
I think all of us here at ILIASM had those sorts of relationships before our SM. And yet we ended up with these...duds. I hate to use the word as apparently it was an early and derogatory term for asexuals. I have nothing against asexuals save for when they marry others without being up front. But really, other than refuser, what other word seems to fit? I often wonder how we the refused felt a connection and attraction and even had a lot of sex with our refusers until we were married for a time. How could we have known before? I think the signs I had were more pointing towards what an asshole he was, but really refuser would not have crossed my mind until it hadn't crossed my body in a very long time. "Dud" is a perfect term. It brings to mind fireworks that didn't go off. What better metaphor for a sexless marriage? |
|
|
|
Post by cc on Jun 23, 2016 19:11:18 GMT -5
This article says once a week. I'm laughing or I will cry!
|
|
|
|
Post by cagedtiger on Jun 23, 2016 21:56:44 GMT -5
This article says once a week. I'm laughing or I will cry! Yep. Welcome to the club that nobody should want to be a member of. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2016 0:08:57 GMT -5
Once a week, after what I've settled for all these years, would have this pink-haired gal doing cartwheels.
|
|
