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Post by petrushka on Jun 22, 2016 1:08:56 GMT -5
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Post by baza on Jun 22, 2016 1:58:57 GMT -5
That was a good read Brother P.
Personally, as far as asexuals (or any other sexual orientation for that matter) I reckon just be up front about it.
Without veering too far off topic, I have very little respect for people putting on an act to hook someone in to a union under false pretences, just to provide a "normal" facade for themselves.
That said, it must be very difficult to be an asexual in today's world of sexual imagery / advertising and suchlike that pervades society. I'd imagine they would feel quite marginalised.
And, I'd imagine that there are subtypes of asexuals too.
Presumably some asexuals would like a relationship with another asexual. Maybe with another asexual of the same gender, maybe with an asexual of the opposite gender, although theoretically I figure the gender would not matter at all for a true asexual.
Presumably some asexuals would have no interest in a relationship at all.
What did you think of that stat 1% of people claim to be asexual, and of those 70% are female ???
On a per capita basis, that puts 1,000 out of every 100,000 as asexual -
Of which 700 are female -
Of which 300 are male.
I was surprised at that. Thought it would run pretty much 50/50.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 3:27:41 GMT -5
Seeing articles like this about asexuality give me hope that asexuals will see that they isn't anything wrong with them and there are others like them and they will be "out and proud." Which will prevent the pain of an asexual married to a non-asexual persom, the pain we in ILIASM know all too well. I'm betting there are at least a few such cases among our numbers. Anything that leads to people being upfront about their sexuality and preventing a mis-matched marriage I am all for.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 16:53:45 GMT -5
This article does have a lot to do with refusers. It is exactly what most of them aren't! LOL. I've heard similar statistics, maybe based on the same study, that very few people are asexual. Based on the 1% assumption, in the old EP ILIASM, only 500 of the 50,000 shitholes were because a sexual person married an asexual. This sounds about right. The other 45,500 marriages were shitholes because of narcissism, depression, addiction, passive aggression, abuse, lies, manipulation, and in some cases pure evil. Some refusers were even quite into porn and were even outsourcing. I don't think my ex was asexual. She could take it or leave it but we did have some good roots that she was genuinely into. I gave up "why chasing" long ago, but if I had to lay a wager I'd put it on narcissism and childhood trauma. Asexuality is long odds. |
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Post by petrushka on Jun 24, 2016 0:55:22 GMT -5
That was a good read Brother P. Personally, as far as asexuals (or any other sexual orientation for that matter) I reckon just be up front about it. Without veering too far off topic, I have very little respect for people putting on an act to hook someone in to a union under false pretences, just to provide a "normal" facade for themselves. That said, it must be very difficult to be an asexual in today's world of sexual imagery / advertising and suchlike that pervades society. I'd imagine they would feel quite marginalised. And, I'd imagine that there are subtypes of asexuals too. Presumably some asexuals would like a relationship with another asexual. Maybe with another asexual of the same gender, maybe with an asexual of the opposite gender, although theoretically I figure the gender would not matter at all for a true asexual. Presumably some asexuals would have no interest in a relationship at all. What did you think of that stat 1% of people claim to be asexual, and of those 70% are female  On a per capita basis, that puts 1,000 out of every 100,000 as asexual - Of which 700 are female - Of which 300 are male. I was surprised at that. Thought it would run pretty much 50/50. I have no observations to offer on the supposed gender ratio. Maybe male asexuals are - due to gender stereotypes - less likely to admit to it, or, vice versa, female asexuals find it easier. Irrespective of that it is clear that a lot of them nevertheless crave love and the company of others, someone to share their life with. And that's where it gets to be a problem if they get together with someone who is sexual and they're not open about themselves in the hope to squeak by somehow (as if!). As you said. By the same token, the first time I came across someone who was pretty open about it, was the NZ author of the feted book "The Bone People" (Man Booker Prize winner) which appeared to have some strong personal references. And it was clear that K.H. not only is asexual, but actually resented any invasion of her personal space and found it difficult even to tolerate others in her tower. That was an: "okaaaayyyy ?!?" for me. (incidentally she's "come out" about it in public since and actually is a member of some asexual association to my knowledge now). Of course, there is no reason to assume that asexuals in their attitude to life are not affected by all the other dysfunctional shite that we all have to deal with from day to day. None at all. |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 24, 2016 2:12:55 GMT -5
If I was asexual and knew my odds were 100 times less likely of finding someone with similar sexual desire... Yeah, I'd be pretty pressured into pretending to be something I'm not.
Whether W is asexual or the victim of sexual abuse, she will never admit to either. But the end result is similar. I suspect there are many in the same boat, with sexual abuse being a much more likely root cause for the behavior.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2016 19:20:19 GMT -5
I found it interesting that my daughter's college actually has an asexual dating group. This makes perfect sense to me. My daughter's best friend is an asexual man who is in a romantic relationship with an asexual woman. I'll admit to being confused until it was explained that both of them enjoy romance but they aren't interested in sex. They go on dates, cuddle, bring each other gifts, etc. It just happens that neither of them is interested in sex. It seems that being able to be open about your sexual preferences would prevent a lot of mismatches. I like that a lot of younger people are much more open about gender and sexuality, and way less judgmental about it than older generations.
My daughter thinks my STBX is an asexual, and if she's right that certainly gives me some insight into him. I can't even imagine how tough it would have been to grow up asexual in a traditional family like his. You would feel so out of place and like something was wrong with you for not wanting sex like a "normal guy." Most people my age have never even heard the term "asexual" until the last few years, so there would have been no understanding whatsoever for a young man with no sex drive. Interestingly enough, one of his sisters has never married and although I can't be certain, I believe she is still a virgin. She seems pretty happy to me - enjoys her nieces and nephews, lives in an awesome condo in downtown, travels a lot. Don't ask me to explain why she would get a pass on the whole marriage and kids thing and he wouldn't. I'm really just "thinking out loud" here.
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