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Post by lann2015 on Apr 1, 2016 17:29:31 GMT -5
I don't think I love my H anymore. I do not want to have sex with him. I do not even want to spend time with him. I look at him with disgust. It makes me feel horrible inside and guilty but that is how I feel. He isn't a bad person but I don't want to stay with him just for that and because we are financially comfortable.
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Post by unmatched on Apr 1, 2016 17:42:38 GMT -5
I don't think I love my H anymore. I do not want to have sex with him. I do not even want to spend time with him. I look at him with disgust. It makes me feel horrible inside and guilty but that is how I feel. He isn't a bad person but I don't want to stay with him just for that and because we are financially comfortable. I think you may have just answered your own question  |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2016 20:14:00 GMT -5
I think for me, the last straw happened this way:
Mid-July 2015 (after 2 and 1/2 years of this), we agreed to "try again," which I understood to mean that he was going to seriously do his part to fix his health issues AND do his part on our sex life. We had one fantastic weekend (including sex.)
Then, 6 or 8 weeks of excuses.
Then, a big argument around the end of August/beginning of September 2015. I reminded him that we had agreed we were both going to work on this, we were both going to do some things for the other, compromise, etc.
He basically told me that he was doing as much as he was going to do; and that he didn't want to hear about it any more.
I don't know why it took that particular sequence of events, at that particular time. But that was when I knew I was really done.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2016 8:22:57 GMT -5
That answer is different for all of us. I stayed and fought for my marriage for decades. It took a number of things all happening in a short period of time to get me to the point of divorce - one of them was the realization that I no longer loved my husband. For a long time, I stayed because of my children and because I was so terrified of trying to support myself and my kids. Then I got to the point where I was more scared of going another decade in a loveless hell than I was of starting over.
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Post by whisperingthunder on Apr 2, 2016 19:29:24 GMT -5
I knew it was over when I had repeatedly said I wasn't going to accept him cheating on me, and I found concrete evidence that he had. That was the last blow.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2016 17:15:47 GMT -5
Well, for me, there were two things. First, she asked me why I had been down so much lately. I told her it was because I had not had sex in 5 1/2 years. She told me that I should be happy and fulfilled with never having sex ever again. Then she said she would make a gyno appt within 2 weeks to find out why she couldn't have sex. Not go to the gyno, just make an appt. She did not do this and said she would do it when she felt like it. To me, it was like she was daring me to do something about it.
Also, our youngest daughter is away at college now, and we don't own a house. So there are no custody issues and no real estate to sell, so there would never be a better time.
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 12, 2016 19:45:12 GMT -5
For me I called time of death on the marriage
February 2014. I didn't plan to divorce until 2019 but
I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like his health
was declining and I would wind up stuck if I didn't
get out soon. He had mistreated me for so many years in
so many different ways. I tried to get him to go
to counseling, do a weekend away, send him sexy suggestive texts which he thought were a turn off. It basically came down to do I want to be celibate and/ or
have to sneak around for sex OR do I want a life that allows me sex if I want it and the chance for a relationship
that I deserve? So I filed November 2015 and was divorced two months later.
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