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Post by JMX on Jun 17, 2016 22:56:18 GMT -5
My STBX has been laying it on thick.
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Cheap suit
Jun 17, 2016 23:18:32 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by DryCreek on Jun 17, 2016 23:18:32 GMT -5
You're another day closer to freedom...
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Post by baza on Jun 18, 2016 1:02:46 GMT -5
Your STBX has nothing to lose Sister JMX.
Anything is worth a try from his perspective, putting on an act in the "I've seen the light" mould, pathetic leg clinging, promising anything, outright anger / aggression, crying, feigning illness, begging, anything.
Anything.
Anything to halt the process.
He's got nothing to lose.
So any tactic is worth a shot now the end game has arrived.
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Suggested counter,
Whatever he says / does respond with this -
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"I am sorry that you are ill, but I am divorcing you"
"I acknowledge that you are upset, but I am divorcing you"
"I acknowledge that you say you have 'seen the light', but I am divorcing you"
"I hear what you are saying, but I am divorcing you"
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in fact, whatever he says / does, acknowledge it, and add "but I am divorcing you"
You may have to do this 200 times.
Maintain you position. Do not deviate from it.
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It's referred to as the 'broken record technique'. You just keep repeating it and repeating it, no matter what is thrown at you.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 18, 2016 6:57:30 GMT -5
You see right through it now. When before you would have taken the bait and remained .what does your mentor friend at work have to say about all this?
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 18, 2016 7:53:03 GMT -5
It's an act to get what he wants - not divorced. I know you know that. My husband went through a phase like that after I told him I wanted a divorce. He actually took my clothes out of the dryer and folded them because he needed to use the machine. I always did that for him. Usually he would take my damp clothes out throw them on the floor and do his laundry. When he saw that folding my clothes once was not going to change my mind he went back to his old ways. His laundry was the one thing he did around the house and I could remember saying to him "if you'll have sex with me I'll do your laundry". He preferred laundry. So sad. Stay strong and don't buy into his bulkshit. It's really just a reset in a different form. Hugs my friend.  |
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2016 6:28:40 GMT -5
It's an act to get what he wants - not divorced. I know you know that. My husband went through a phase like that after I told him I wanted a divorce. He actually took my clothes out of the dryer and folded them because he needed to use the machine. I always did that for him. Usually he would take my damp clothes out throw them on the floor and do his laundry. When he saw that folding my clothes once was not going to change my mind he went back to his old ways. His laundry was the one thing he did around the house and I could remember saying to him "if you'll have sex with me I'll do your laundry". He preferred laundry. So sad. Stay strong and don't buy into his bulkshit. It's really just a reset in a different form. Hugs my friend. He threw your wet laundry on the floor? What an asshole!!! Holy fook. That about takes all. My ex made absolutely no change in anything when I announced our divorce. Not even an oblique hint of the possibility of reset sex. Still lived in different parts of the house. Still unable to comprehend the concept of cleaning up. Still imperious and impossible to talk to. She didn't want a divorce but apparently it was my job to fix our marriage. Which by the way if I may go off on a tangent, is one reason marital counseling is about as useful as a lawnmower with no gas in it (Sling Blade). One spouse sees it as personal counseling for the other that they're just sitting in on. It's about fixing the other, because that's where the problem lies. My first wife actually said this, we were going to a counseling appointment and she referred to the therapist as "your therapist." Needless to say she is my ex wife. I have another one too. There won't be a third. |
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