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Post by roundhead58 on Jun 21, 2024 15:00:41 GMT -5
Hi there to you all,I'm a 65 year old guy,but has life in the old dog,stuck in a lifeless,sexless marriage.qe haven't had sex for five years now,when I even try to be intimate with her she just pushes me away,saying she would prefer a purely platonic marriage and if I want can look elsewhere,I'm seriously thinking about seeking love, intimacy,sex with another woman,is this wrong??
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Jun 21, 2024 20:35:07 GMT -5
Hi there to you all,I'm a 65 year old guy,but has life in the old dog,stuck in a lifeless,sexless marriage.qe haven't had sex for five years now,when I even try to be intimate with her she just pushes me away,saying she would prefer a purely platonic marriage and if I want can look elsewhere,I'm seriously thinking about seeking love, intimacy,sex with another woman,is this wrong?? Hell no!!! I mean if it's just the sex your missing go for it. Might be different if you get the feels for someone else. Then it gets complicated. Go for it.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 22, 2024 1:02:21 GMT -5
Hi there to you all,I'm a 65 year old guy,but has life in the old dog,stuck in a lifeless,sexless marriage.qe haven't had sex for five years now,when I even try to be intimate with her she just pushes me away,saying she would prefer a purely platonic marriage and if I want can look elsewhere,I'm seriously thinking about seeking love, intimacy,sex with another woman,is this wrong?? Keep in mind that the society we live in may judge you harshly but ethically you are on solid ground to outsource. You might want to have "the talk" with your wife. She has unilaterally decided that her sex life is over. That's ok, because she has body autonomy, but you also have body autonomy and it's unethical for her to decide you will also be celibate. English common law declares that if a contracted supplier is unable to provide the services contracted for, the customer is free to find a second source. While the application of English common law is at best questionable in today's courts, it provides a valuable precedent.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 22, 2024 4:30:47 GMT -5
It's not uncommon for a senior woman to no longer desire intimacy. Most married women who embrace a sexless life expect their spouses to follow along and be content with an amiable co-habitating approach to marriage. For either spouse facing this prospect while still desiring intimacy it's a hard slog. If your W is serious about being OK with your finding a FWB, then you are among the more fortunate of males. Most of us at this site recognise that outsourceing is a perfectly acceptable approach to this situation. If you can find a FWB and both of you are able to keep things fixed on just the sex or intimacy then I would say that is a reasonable solition to your SM. Just keep in mind your W may say one thing now but when finding herself in the position of being a 3rd wheel in a relationship, she may quickly change her mind. She won't return to being intimate with you, but she will want you to be as celibate as she is. And if she is a vindictive sort of person she may well use your dalliance as a reason to divorce you.
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Post by baza on Jun 22, 2024 21:02:02 GMT -5
Hi there to you all,I'm a 65 year old guy,but has life in the old dog,stuck in a lifeless,sexless marriage.qe haven't had sex for five years now,when I even try to be intimate with her she just pushes me away,saying she would prefer a purely platonic marriage and if I want can look elsewhere,I'm seriously thinking about seeking love, intimacy,sex with another woman,is this wrong?? No, it is not "wrong" to want this. Nor is it "right" to want this. The sooner you get past framing this issue as being right or wrong the better In the ILIASM context it is not a matter of morals, it is a matter of choice. You want to cheat ? That is a perfectly valid choice for you to explore. Your missus wants a platonic relationship ? That is a perfectly legitimate thing for her to persue. Hard choices lie ahead Brother roundhead58 .
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 24, 2024 19:40:14 GMT -5
These three guys hit every point. The one thing I might demur on is having "The Talk"
You already had it and you got the "hall pass". It's her fault if she said something she didn't mean.
Either take the hall pass, or accept celibacy. Don't talk her out of it.
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Post by Apocrypha on Jun 25, 2024 8:39:28 GMT -5
and if I want can look elsewhere,I'm seriously thinking about seeking love, intimacy,sex with another woman,is this wrong?? The default "hall pass" option seems to be a "don't ask, don't tell" format, rather than one in which one's partner is fully informed (if not present) at every significant step of the way. From a practical perspective, the discrete "hall pass" is a distinction without a difference from an affair. You need to act as if you are having an affair, and you will have no idea how serious she is about you seeking intimacy elsewhere until the moment she finds out - in which case you may find that its treated like an affair (with a burden of secrecy and lying on you, and a consequence dangling) and what are you going to say then? A hall pass can be a total set up. My test of whether an open relationship is REALLY an open relationship is about knowing whether my home partner could sit at a table and have a genuinely friendly drink with a suitor, knowing their intentions.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 25, 2024 18:52:12 GMT -5
Apocrypha's observation is fair warning. That said, it's not an affair until something sexy happens. My dating got exposed and I admitted it. Explained to her, silly to say something until I knew I could seal the deal, and I know I can. She decided to become my partner instead. A hall pass can allow you to determine your market value, test the waters, hone your dating skills, and if you're getting hints from your dates, break teh news. If you are discovered: nothing happened, and even if it had, she had already said Yes. The fun part is her having to admit she only meant to give you a hall pass if you didn't have any offers.
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Post by Apocrypha on Jun 26, 2024 9:36:29 GMT -5
Apocrypha 's observation is fair warning. A hall pass can allow you to determine your market value, test the waters, hone your dating skills, and if you're getting hints from your dates, break teh news. If you are discovered: nothing happened, and even if it had, she had already said Yes. If what I'm saying is true, it doesn't matter what she "says" but rather how she acts. You might have the right of way at an intersection, but that doesn't make it hurt less when the bus runs over you. Also, if nothing happens nor is intended, the other person's time has been wasted. I used to find it very annoying, dating in my 40s when my sliver of me time was precious and always purchased at the price of other responsibilities and joys, like time with my kids. I was never particularly warm to discovering on the back end of a nice evening that my partner wasn't yet disentangled from a previous relationship and seemed to be "testing the waters".
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Post by sundayblue0071 on Jun 28, 2024 0:58:30 GMT -5
Hi there to you all,I'm a 65 year old guy,but has life in the old dog,stuck in a lifeless,sexless marriage.qe haven't had sex for five years now,when I even try to be intimate with her she just pushes me away,saying she would prefer a purely platonic marriage and if I want can look elsewhere,I'm seriously thinking about seeking love, intimacy,sex with another woman,is this wrong?? Not wrong. I keep contemplating wanting to do the same thing with my wife.
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Post by sundayblue0071 on Jun 30, 2024 0:53:49 GMT -5
Overs By Paul Simon
Why don't we stop foolin' ourselves? The game is over, over, over No good times, no bad times There's no times at all Just The New York Times Sittin' on the windowsill Near the flowers
We might as well be apart It hardly matters, we sleep separately And drop a smile passin' in the hall But there's no laughs left 'Cause we laughed them all And we laughed them all In a very short time
Time is tapping on my forehead Hangin' from my mirror Rattlin' the teacups And I wonder-
How long can I delay? We're just a habit, like saccharin And I'm habitually feelin' kinda blue But each time I try on the thought of leavin' you I stop I stop and think it over
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