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Post by lonelyhubby on Apr 29, 2024 9:58:59 GMT -5
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Missingout
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Posts: 245
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Apr 29, 2024 16:24:09 GMT -5
Very. Hope to see what the woman here have to say.
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Post by isthisit on Apr 29, 2024 18:40:03 GMT -5
No clue, sorry. I never refused my husband in the whole of our marriage so we are possibly not the best people to ask. Your Mrs probably knows more about this topic.
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Missingout
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Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Apr 29, 2024 19:24:20 GMT -5
No clue, sorry. I never refused my husband in the whole of our marriage so we are possibly not the best people to ask. Your Mrs probably knows more about this topic. Your right. If I show my wife she will ask me if that's all I think about? And l will make her say the sex word and that will be the end of the conversation😉 |
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Post by toughtiger on Apr 30, 2024 8:09:45 GMT -5
Ok, so this video may have several valid points in it.... It is about being comfortable in your own skin.... and asking for or directing to what you want...
#1 attractiveness....
It is easy to feel unattractive maybe few pounds have came on etc ... If it was so easy to just say "you look pretty " no problem....... but each person needs different reassurance.. For example my spouse for most of our good times would give me a squeeze or body touches that told me he was still hot for me....
Now he will barely touch me at all ..not walk by or into bedroom to just watch me change ... he avoids me naked now. so if he says "you look good" mean little since his previous ways of making me feel attractive was not verbal.
I took it as I must be hideous but when other men are like "he is crazy I think you are hot "....at first thought these people were crazy but when i feel it they say something about my eyes/ smile / etc . I know it is a Spouse issue not mine ... so instead of internalizing his disinterest I know I am still attractive and see it when we are out and other men notice and smile or make small talk.
#2 knowing what works for you and asking for different positions or things is not only OK ......but needed as it it was all the same no one wants that.... knowing your own body and the combo to your pleasure is far better then "Hoping he figures it out" .... and thinking he has managed before why can he remember to do this or that.
Why in the world in a long term relationship does this seem off limits confuses me... honestly yes telling him something he seemed to enjoy did NOTHING for me he found hurtful but not because i said it ....but because i put up with it for so long before telling him.
No one I know is a real mind reader....both sexes need to feel that their spouse finds them attractive and sexy.... If something is NOT working they should feel comfortable and confident in saying hey this is not working ... may be change things up ...SEX has a lot to do with your mind and if you can feel like a romp is going to be hot and respect each others wants it should not be so difficult
Example: spouse ONLY seemed interested in morning .... I wanted night time as when I am satisfied...I like to cuddle or sleep not get up to get ready for work.= disconnect. we spoke on this but always seemed to revert to morning and told him if morning wood was all he had take care of it himself.
I want my boobs and body touched and he only wanted (at end of our sex life) to lay in starfish and expect me to climb on and Do ALL movement and get him off... disconnect...
I spoke up but if I had to grab his hand to set it anywhere ... forget it.... it requires team effort ONE person cannot make up for the others disconnect or half ass interest.
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Post by jim44444 on Apr 30, 2024 11:14:40 GMT -5
.... it requires team effort ONE person cannot make up for the others disconnect or half ass interest. Truth in these words toughtigerIf only one person is trying then they will give up and try something different. Eventually they will just give up. |
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Missingout
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Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on May 1, 2024 6:00:36 GMT -5
#2 knowing what works for you and asking for different positions or things is not only OK ......but needed as it it was all the same no one wants that.... knowing your own body and the combo to your pleasure is far better then "Hoping he figures it out" .... and thinking he has managed before why can he remember to do this or that.
Why in the world in a long term relationship does this seem off limits confuses me... honestly yes telling him something he seemed to enjoy did NOTHING for me he found hurtful but not because i said it ....but because i put up with it for so long before telling him.
I believe my wife would get tired of me telling her how attractive she was. She didn't care what I thought. And I eventually stopped doing it as often. Always asked her what she wanted from me in the bedroom. She never asked me. I remember one request was to rub her clit while we were in the missionary position. Which is tricky to do. And I explained a different position where I could have my hands free to do so. She refused and she couldn't understand. She said the missionary position hurt less. I told her to use her own hand to stimulate herself and she refused to do that as well. I dunno. She is getting lazy in that department. She always said its too much like work and I agreed she was making it like work.
Just been in a weird place mentally this past week and a half working out of town. Reflecting on our 23 year marriage. She hasn't called me for 3 days and I haven't reached out to her as well. Just want that conversation to pull the plug and she is avoiding me.
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Post by lonelyhubby on May 1, 2024 7:21:48 GMT -5
#2 knowing what works for you and asking for different positions or things is not only OK ......but needed as it it was all the same no one wants that.... knowing your own body and the combo to your pleasure is far better then "Hoping he figures it out" .... and thinking he has managed before why can he remember to do this or that. Why in the world in a long term relationship does this seem off limits confuses me... honestly yes telling him something he seemed to enjoy did NOTHING for me he found hurtful but not because i said it ....but because i put up with it for so long before telling him. I believe my wife would get tired of me telling her how attractive she was. She didn't care what I thought. And I eventually stopped doing it as often. Always asked her what she wanted from me in the bedroom. She never asked me. I remember one request was to rub her clit while we were in the missionary position. Which is tricky to do. And I explained a different position where I could have my hands free to do so. She refused and she couldn't understand. She said the missionary position hurt less. I told her to use her own hand to stimulate herself and she refused to do that as well. I dunno. She is getting lazy in that department. She always said its too much like work and I agreed she was making it like work. Just been in a weird place mentally this past week and a half working out of town. Reflecting on our 23 year marriage. She hasn't called me for 3 days and I haven't reached out to her as well. Just want that conversation to pull the plug and she is avoiding me. Yeah = part of that problem appears to be in her head - equating sex with your spouse as work. It happens a lot - and appears to be a common place where some women live. Not that Men don't withhold either - but I have never refuses affection or sex unless I was sick or we were in a fight for one evening kind of thing, can't wrap my head around that sort of thinking |
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Post by mirrororchid on May 1, 2024 21:14:45 GMT -5
...one request was to rub her clit while we were in the missionary position. Which is tricky to do. And I explained a different position where I could have my hands free to do so. She refused and she couldn't understand. She said the missionary position hurt less. I told her to use her own hand to stimulate herself and she refused to do that as well. Rub it with your hand or your nether parts, in the missionary? I could see a well lubed tool pressing hard against her clit, nestled in the groove there, might help her out. With your hand? I see your point how getting the hand down there while hovering above could be exceptionally awkward. Is missionary somehow a morality thing? Anything else is depraved and kinky? |
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Missingout
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Posts: 245
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on May 2, 2024 14:05:49 GMT -5
...one request was to rub her clit while we were in the missionary position. Which is tricky to do. And I explained a different position where I could have my hands free to do so. She refused and she couldn't understand. She said the missionary position hurt less. I told her to use her own hand to stimulate herself and she refused to do that as well. Rub it with your hand or your nether parts, in the missionary? I could see a well lubed tool pressing hard against her clit, nestled in the groove there, might help her out. With your hand? I see your point how getting the hand down there while hovering above could be exceptionally awkward. Is missionary somehow a morality thing? Anything else is depraved and kinky? Ya no kink in her at all. Very vanilla. |
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