Dating post divorce

Since 2/19 when I divorced I’ve been on a few dates from a dating site - (Bumble$ and then 13 months with a man 3 years older than me that I met as a coworker while still married in 2016 and we always had fun together and got along well so on November 6th 2022 we started dating and it was great at first.

We had fun until I realized I was last on his list with his work, family, and friends first so I broke up with him 2 or 3 weeks ago and then
after another really bad date with him Wednesday, full of negative energy I told him let’s just go back to being friends

He said:”Friends with benefits?” I said: “No, I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”
My first love language is touch. His is quality time and he is usually or about 40% of the time too tired for sex. Sex with him isn’t fulfilling.

He said: I can’t just be friends. We will take it slow. Let’s try.”

I “slept” on it and after realizing he drains me and I don’t feel emotionally safe or fulfilled sexually that I couldn’t keep being his girlfriend so I called him this morning and told him.

He took it pretty well. He tried to get me to reconsider but we have different politics and interests and I pointed that out and said it’s more fun and less pressure to just be friends.


Side note:

The first time I broke up with him he said okay. Just text me if you don’t want me to call anymore

I called him. He said: “can we still be friends?”
I felt relieved and said yes and that led me to caving- not wanting to be the bad guy and he said: “thank you for taking me back.

But the it just got more unpleasant and uncomfortable as I don’t feel happy with him but I’m happy alone.

I’m m just writing this because it helps clarify what I’m doing and maybe helpful to others to see the “other side.”