|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Jan 4, 2024 9:56:59 GMT -5
medium.com/hello-love/when-your-wife-introduces-the-infamous-pillow-wall-145ff21cf7b3
When Your Wife Introduces the Infamous Pillow Wall
A dead bedroom tale from a neglected husband.MonalisaSmiled Hello, Love
“She’s introduced the pillows.”Huh? You ask. What do you mean, pillows? “I have a dead bedroom with my wife. We’ve had sex roughly six times in the past three years. She claims the dead bedroom is due to her feeling depressed (due to numerous factors) and taking medication for it.” And they’ve had the talk. The “we’re not having sex” talk. “Anyways, I believed that after the talk, we were making some headway in our relationship. However, she’s created a wall of pillows between us in the past two nights when we go to bed.”
A WALL OF PILLOWS.My lover told me his wife used to pull this stunt, too. I couldn’t believe it. “She put pillows between you?” my voice squeaked. “Yep.” “It was like a barricade?” “Yep.” “What did you do?” I asked. “I was alone in a king-sized bed. It felt like a cold desert tundra.” What happens when the pillows are introduced? “I feel even more isolated than before, and now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth staying in the same bedroom,” the man explained on r/deadbedrooms. Cripes almighty, I thought. “In our five-plus year relationship, we’ve gone from being very intimate every day to zero intimacy and a wall of pillows between us. I’m married and yet have never felt so alone,” he finishes.
THE PILLOW BARRIER IS THE END.All hope is lost. It’s the final stake in the coffin of your dead bedroom. The corpse is not coming back to life. A body pillow, a bunch of pillows. Whatever form they take, it means one thing. Your warm body is being REJECTED. Your sexual needs are being tossed out the window. At best, this is a passive-aggressive move. At worst, she’s never going to touch you willingly. This is as terrible for a marriage as letting dogs and kids into the bed as a “shield.” You’ve arrived at the dreaded roommates scenario. What’s the next step?
The couch move.If she responds with indifference to sleeping separately, then it’s time to reevaluate your future together. It never gets better unless BOTH parties want it. Or lay siege to her pillow fort. Launch balled-up socks! Reach over the ramparts! You need to lead a full Napoleonic invasion! May the Berlin wall of pillows crumble! If she can giggle about the pillow seige, you might have hope. Where you push all the pillows off the bed in one fell swoop to grasp her body close to yours, and you feel her melting under your touch. My girlfriend called her husband “the claw” because his hands would reach out and grab her over the pillow wall. The CLAW. It’s sad, right? All I could visualize was the machine at the arcade coming up empty again and again. Could a marriage withstand that?
The “ain’t happening” barrier is just the beginning.
I think the pillow wall is the end.It’s time to make changes. Find someone who wants you. Find love on your terms. Life is too short to be miserable at home. To feel alone when married. Be happy. No more neglect and isolation in bed.
|
|
Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by Missingout on Jan 4, 2024 10:23:24 GMT -5
medium.com/hello-love/when-your-wife-introduces-the-infamous-pillow-wall-145ff21cf7b3
When Your Wife Introduces the Infamous Pillow Wall
A dead bedroom tale from a neglected husband.MonalisaSmiled Hello, Love
“She’s introduced the pillows.”Huh? You ask. What do you mean, pillows? “I have a dead bedroom with my wife. We’ve had sex roughly six times in the past three years. She claims the dead bedroom is due to her feeling depressed (due to numerous factors) and taking medication for it.” And they’ve had the talk. The “we’re not having sex” talk. “Anyways, I believed that after the talk, we were making some headway in our relationship. However, she’s created a wall of pillows between us in the past two nights when we go to bed.”
A WALL OF PILLOWS.My lover told me his wife used to pull this stunt, too. I couldn’t believe it. “She put pillows between you?” my voice squeaked. “Yep.” “It was like a barricade?” “Yep.” “What did you do?” I asked. “I was alone in a king-sized bed. It felt like a cold desert tundra.” What happens when the pillows are introduced? “I feel even more isolated than before, and now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth staying in the same bedroom,” the man explained on r/deadbedrooms. Cripes almighty, I thought. “In our five-plus year relationship, we’ve gone from being very intimate every day to zero intimacy and a wall of pillows between us. I’m married and yet have never felt so alone,” he finishes.
THE PILLOW BARRIER IS THE END.All hope is lost. It’s the final stake in the coffin of your dead bedroom. The corpse is not coming back to life. A body pillow, a bunch of pillows. Whatever form they take, it means one thing. Your warm body is being REJECTED. Your sexual needs are being tossed out the window. At best, this is a passive-aggressive move. At worst, she’s never going to touch you willingly. This is as terrible for a marriage as letting dogs and kids into the bed as a “shield.” You’ve arrived at the dreaded roommates scenario. What’s the next step?
The couch move.If she responds with indifference to sleeping separately, then it’s time to reevaluate your future together. It never gets better unless BOTH parties want it. Or lay siege to her pillow fort. Launch balled-up socks! Reach over the ramparts! You need to lead a full Napoleonic invasion! May the Berlin wall of pillows crumble! If she can giggle about the pillow seige, you might have hope. Where you push all the pillows off the bed in one fell swoop to grasp her body close to yours, and you feel her melting under your touch. My girlfriend called her husband “the claw” because his hands would reach out and grab her over the pillow wall. The CLAW. It’s sad, right? All I could visualize was the machine at the arcade coming up empty again and again. Could a marriage withstand that?
The “ain’t happening” barrier is just the beginning.
I think the pillow wall is the end.It’s time to make changes. Find someone who wants you. Find love on your terms. Life is too short to be miserable at home. To feel alone when married. Be happy. No more neglect and isolation in bed. Ahh man thanks for the laugh this morning.. I needed it. Seen the kids and dogs and pillow walls..😔 spot on for sure. Time to make changes indeed.. |
|
m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
|
Post by m76 on Jan 4, 2024 10:57:03 GMT -5
The loneliness in this situation is real.
My wife uses a body pillow and invites the dog up to sleep between us.
If the dog's not there sometimes I'll try to reach over cuddle or even just put my hand on her hip, she will push me away saying I'm too hot at bed time. In the mornings it's a little different. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up.
In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me.
|
|
|
|
Post by lonelyhubby on Jan 4, 2024 11:24:33 GMT -5
The loneliness in this situation is real. My wife uses a body pillow and invites the dog up to sleep between us. If the dog's not there sometimes I'll try to reach over cuddle or even just put my hand on her hip, she will push me away saying I'm too hot at bed time. In the mornings it's a little different. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up. In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me. Yeah - been there, done that. Replaced by dogs, kids and pillows, and then gets mad when you sleep on couch (I did for over 2 years). She doesn't "want" you, she just wants you around. No understanding or compassion about how much pain the constant rejection causes. You would rather sleep on a couch than to be isolated so close, but yet - so far away. |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Jan 4, 2024 14:13:34 GMT -5
The loneliness in this situation is real. My wife uses a body pillow and invites the dog up to sleep between us. If the dog's not there sometimes I'll try to reach over cuddle or even just put my hand on her hip, she will push me away saying I'm too hot at bed time. In the mornings it's a little different. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up. In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up. In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me.
Now imagine the opposit: When you get in bed next to your woman who always insists on sleeping naked and has a hot/warm body, who, without you asking, asks you" are you cold? are your feet cold?" let me warm you right up and instantly spoons up against you! A woman who, every morning reaches over and strokes your penis ,while waking you up with kisses, and is ready for a shared 20 minutes of oral to start your day!
I had that with my new woman after my divorce...It's really ,really hard to put it into words the joy, the thankfulness, the gratification, that you feel for that person, and all the love that you want to give back!!! It just runs through your mind constantly through out your day, and every time your with them, you want to thank them for proving that YOU are desirable and our ex was/is the one with the selfish ,never to be satisfied problems.!! You want to thank them for being a huge factor in your healing process! |
|
m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
|
Post by m76 on Jan 4, 2024 14:24:28 GMT -5
The loneliness in this situation is real. My wife uses a body pillow and invites the dog up to sleep between us. If the dog's not there sometimes I'll try to reach over cuddle or even just put my hand on her hip, she will push me away saying I'm too hot at bed time. In the mornings it's a little different. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up. In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up. In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me.
Now imagine the opposit: When you get in bed next to your woman who always insists on sleeping naked and has a hot/warm body, who, without you asking, asks you" are you cold? are your feet cold?" let me warm you right up and instantly spoons up against you! A woman who, every morning reaches over and strokes your penis ,while waking you up with kisses, and is ready for a shared 20 minutes of oral to start your day!
I had that with my new woman after my divorce...It's really ,really hard to put it into words the joy, the thankfulness, the gratification, that you feel for that person, and all the love that you want to give back!!! It just runs through your mind constantly through out your day, and every time your with them, you want to thank them for proving that YOU are desirable and our ex was/is the one with the selfish ,never to be satisfied problems.!! You want to thank them for being a huge factor in your healing process! I can only imagine. Having someone like that in your life you'd wake up ready to take on the world. I think what keeps a lot of us in the SM is thinking the situation you described is only a dream and it wouldn't happen for me. |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Jan 4, 2024 15:39:44 GMT -5
I can only imagine. Having someone like that in your life you'd wake up ready to take on the world. I think what keeps a lot of us in the SM is thinking the situation you described is only a dream and it wouldn't happen for me. Well it did happen! And, like you, I was surviving one day at a time. Healing and restructuring . ( zip code therapy- back to college, new job, new house, new set of responsibilities,etc...) there was a few months of meeting new women, one short lived failure,and then i was introduced to a friend of a friend! Even a vanilla sexual relationship would have been a 100% improvement! Instead it was too much sex first, then the relationship! I think that's easier to work out,since people go through a honeymoon stage, and slow things down. However...the greatest thing I learned was ," I am and was desired and capable,with another person! And ,yes sometimes we are the victim, and it's okay to say, it's over and I'd rather live in an empty house than with an empty spouce. Then after a time of healing, make yourself available. When you least expect it good things/people, can come your way!" Side note: I'm going through a bit of that stage right now. My job of almost 5 yrs. was terminated. I get a new beginning! Fortunately I can afford it and be picky,looking for a soft easy job that I want! ( hey, I know have 5 steady years of that field on my resume!) And possibly meet a woman for a new relationship! |
|
|
|
Post by mirrororchid on Jan 4, 2024 20:22:07 GMT -5
In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me. Without pouting or anger, do that whenever you feel like it. She's mad? Hm. She thinks she has the right, does she? If you sleep on the couch, it means slipping out at 1AM is easy. Not that you would. But you could. You wouldn't, right? It's not like anyone else would find you attractive that way. Would they? Uh oh. |
|
|
|
Post by toughtiger on Jan 5, 2024 9:45:25 GMT -5
happens the other way too ........had the dog / and every excuse in book ...
i am tired and have to leave early for work, but he left at regular time .. (* his job was always a real job mine was puff in his mind).
touch him as i wake up....... he bolts upright out of bed.
Keeps setting alarm earlier to avoid it.
weekend he said ... but he hurts his back every Friday .. At an office job... LMAO
i would be more then ready and willing for a good man.
|
|
Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by Missingout on Jan 5, 2024 10:21:50 GMT -5
Unreal... Never would have I thought this would happen to a woman. This site has opened my mind soo much on what I'm missing 🤪
|
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Jan 6, 2024 16:44:18 GMT -5
medium.com/hello-love/i-am-your-husbands-mistress-dfcf5c94cd69
I Am Your Husband’s Mistress
One woman’s story of adultery.MonalisaSmiled
I’m the woman who slept with your husband.You lost any interest you had in him. You told him you could only tolerate having sex with him when you were drunk. You got pregnant, hoping to “save” your marriage. It didn’t fix your problems, of course. “You can’t break up our family!” “You’d never see your little girl!” You just keep him guilty enough not to leave. When your husband started bettering himself, you never noticed. He went to the gym religiously. You never complimented him on his hard, sexy body. You pushed him away again and again. You gave him the least amount of attention you could. You were never affectionate. You’d turn your head if he came in for a kiss. You’d give him a push away if he reached for your body in bed. You’d prop pillows up between you to thwart his advances. You sighed in exasperation at his desires. I know you don’t do oral. I also know you don’t caress him or comfort him. You don’t enjoy his hands or mouth on you. Sex wasn’t important to you. And you’d criticize his needs. “Is all you think about is sex?”
Did you think he’d never go looking?He never felt deep desire before me because he dedicated everything to you. He’d flirt, sure, but you had that man beat down that he never even thought he could get someone else to want him. Let alone that he might deserve better. It took me a while to realize he wanted me. He was subtle and shy and incredulous that he might be desirable.
He never cheated before me.I’ve seen the damage you’ve done. He’s a sweet, romantic man. He’s incredible in bed. I’ll never understand how you don’t crave him like I do. He’s damn fine for his age, built like nearly a Greek God. Strong arms, bright smile. Blue eyes like the Pacific after a storm. He takes good care of his body. But mentally, he’s a mess. You’ve tossed him aside for so many years, and he has those scars. He feels a combination of incredible happiness and terrifying guilt when we are together. Despite every hurtful word and action, he tears himself apart for your 20-year marriage disintegrating.
He loves deeply, feels deeply, and he hurts deeply.I will always give him what you can’t — sexual satisfaction, joy, love, appreciation. Just like you can give him something I can’t — his family. I need his heart and soul, his touch. You need him as a provider and father. All I want is for him to be truly loved and to be genuinely happy. Treat him the way he deserves. Pleasure him in every way you can. Show him affection. Appreciate him for all he does. Or let him go.
Rest assured, wives. If you treat your husband like shit long enough, another woman will love what you won’t.
|
|
Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by Missingout on Jan 6, 2024 17:15:45 GMT -5
medium.com/hello-love/i-am-your-husbands-mistress-dfcf5c94cd69
I Am Your Husband’s Mistress
One woman’s story of adultery.MonalisaSmiled
I’m the woman who slept with your husband.You lost any interest you had in him. You told him you could only tolerate having sex with him when you were drunk. You got pregnant, hoping to “save” your marriage. It didn’t fix your problems, of course. “You can’t break up our family!” “You’d never see your little girl!” You just keep him guilty enough not to leave. When your husband started bettering himself, you never noticed. He went to the gym religiously. You never complimented him on his hard, sexy body. You pushed him away again and again. You gave him the least amount of attention you could. You were never affectionate. You’d turn your head if he came in for a kiss. You’d give him a push away if he reached for your body in bed. You’d prop pillows up between you to thwart his advances. You sighed in exasperation at his desires. I know you don’t do oral. I also know you don’t caress him or comfort him. You don’t enjoy his hands or mouth on you. Sex wasn’t important to you. And you’d criticize his needs. “Is all you think about is sex?”
Did you think he’d never go looking?He never felt deep desire before me because he dedicated everything to you. He’d flirt, sure, but you had that man beat down that he never even thought he could get someone else to want him. Let alone that he might deserve better. It took me a while to realize he wanted me. He was subtle and shy and incredulous that he might be desirable.
He never cheated before me.I’ve seen the damage you’ve done. He’s a sweet, romantic man. He’s incredible in bed. I’ll never understand how you don’t crave him like I do. He’s damn fine for his age, built like nearly a Greek God. Strong arms, bright smile. Blue eyes like the Pacific after a storm. He takes good care of his body. But mentally, he’s a mess. You’ve tossed him aside for so many years, and he has those scars. He feels a combination of incredible happiness and terrifying guilt when we are together. Despite every hurtful word and action, he tears himself apart for your 20-year marriage disintegrating.
He loves deeply, feels deeply, and he hurts deeply.I will always give him what you can’t — sexual satisfaction, joy, love, appreciation. Just like you can give him something I can’t — his family. I need his heart and soul, his touch. You need him as a provider and father. All I want is for him to be truly loved and to be genuinely happy. Treat him the way he deserves. Pleasure him in every way you can. Show him affection. Appreciate him for all he does. Or let him go.
Rest assured, wives. If you treat your husband like shit long enough, another woman will love what you won’t. Brilliant!!!! |
|
|
|
Post by aquacat on Jan 8, 2024 16:09:13 GMT -5
The loneliness in this situation is real. My wife uses a body pillow and invites the dog up to sleep between us. If the dog's not there sometimes I'll try to reach over cuddle or even just put my hand on her hip, she will push me away saying I'm too hot at bed time. In the mornings it's a little different. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up. In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me. She could be in bed for 30 minutes scrolling on her phone after the alarm but as soon as I touch her she'll says she needs to get up. In a few cases when feeling rejected I've gone and slept on the couch and she got mad at me.
Now imagine the opposit: When you get in bed next to your woman who always insists on sleeping naked and has a hot/warm body, who, without you asking, asks you" are you cold? are your feet cold?" let me warm you right up and instantly spoons up against you! A woman who, every morning reaches over and strokes your penis ,while waking you up with kisses, and is ready for a shared 20 minutes of oral to start your day!
I had that with my new woman after my divorce...It's really ,really hard to put it into words the joy, the thankfulness, the gratification, that you feel for that person, and all the love that you want to give back!!! It just runs through your mind constantly through out your day, and every time your with them, you want to thank them for proving that YOU are desirable and our ex was/is the one with the selfish ,never to be satisfied problems.!! You want to thank them for being a huge factor in your healing process! I live this as a fantasy every now and then because I would absolutely love it if my wife would do this! Unfortunately she's the opposite though as she barely touches me anywhere in that area and she thinks oral sex is digusting and has told me time and time again "I'm not putting a dick in my mouth." Heck I would even settle right now for her to kiss me other than on my lips which even then feels forced. I would really like mutual oral but that will never happen with her. If I do get to do oral on her she refuses to kiss me afterward. I do spoon up to her and every now and then try to initiate by touching her all over and she dislikes it when I try touching her intimately. |
|
