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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 31, 2023 19:40:33 GMT -5
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 1, 2024 7:48:41 GMT -5
Pretty sure it led to my dating.
Still not treated.
She was told "estrogen cream" and she's afraid of teh cancer risk.
She talks about asking about alternatives, but hasn't yet. Depression makes you not make doctor appointments.
Fixing her menopausal atrophy is so laden with self-interest that it's not a phone call I'm going to make.
She's talked about it twice, maybe I'll bring it up. Have an appointment page ready on the phone so she just clicks "Send"
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 1, 2024 8:47:12 GMT -5
I am pretty sure monopause played a significant role in the demise of sex in my marriage. Prior to the full blown onset of menopause my X was plenty sexual. She initiated as much or more often than I did. And when I suggested she consider HRT she adamantly refused. She voiced 2 reasons. 1st she felt she was taking enough medication just to control her blood pressure. 2nd her mother and sister both died from Ovarian cancer, and she only had one overy. So she was unwilling to do anything that might enterfere with her normal reproductive functions. And as menopause progressed our sex life deminished. I don't think she experienced any dryness or atrophy during this time. When we did have sex she was plenty wet and had no problem when we did PIV. But eventually all desire did dry up in her and then so did the intimacy.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 1, 2024 9:10:25 GMT -5
I just found this woman/Doctor's short version videos on youtube, and they seem to be a wealth of information about menopause.
Why am I so interested in it ( you may ask)? The part about leading to divorce, sex and the age category seemed fitting for this group.
My ex W had not gone through it yet, and my now ex girlfriend had just started going through it ( she's not very computer savvy and I was the one teaching her about her health)
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Jan 1, 2024 10:20:30 GMT -5
This is the category my wife is in. |
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Post by toughtiger on Jan 1, 2024 15:41:58 GMT -5
I think many may not seek treatment...... because it is get out of sex with spouse acceptable excuse.
So many unwilling to talk about what they want or do not want ....... spouse let himself go ...you no longer find attraction just blame menopause
so video says 40% have severe symptoms and only 20% seek treatment........ what about the majority 60% who many have lighter if any symptoms.... they still can use the menopause card like those who have real issues.
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Post by isthisit on Jan 1, 2024 18:12:34 GMT -5
There are some really sad stories here of the impact of menopause on previously happy marriages. But for balance, can we also remember that there are very many women who are pre, peri and post menopause who retain a rip-roaring libido with and without any treatment. This forum is chock full of examples of women who are both symptomatic and asymptomatic with menopause who continue to enjoy and instigate sexual activity.
The debate here is becoming increasingly one-sided on this issue. Sure, men are sharing their stories and their pain which is understandable and what we are here for. But it’s not the whole story.
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 1, 2024 18:53:22 GMT -5
True. Some women use menopause as a reason to stop having the sex they aren't interested in.
Similarly, some men with ED refuse to get medical help because they're glad to be able to have a "legitimate" reason to give up sex.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 2, 2024 8:04:59 GMT -5
www.youtube.com/results?search_query=menopause+taylor+66I just found this woman's very large set (over 100) videos about menopause. Apparently she gives 1 hr. counselling, has a 101 DVD for men, has written a book about it been on line since 2017? In this video (66) she gives quite an example of the mindset I encounter in woman after menopause. Travel, travel, travel, all men are like children, I don't need another man to take care of ( totally dismissing the no. of men who are taking care of women) restarting their lives, I don't need a man, sex is not needed, I just want to be happy ( whatever happy,happy,happy, means? ask them and they don't know!) And.. they go back to - my grand-kids are my life! I do agree with her about, men wanting to be at home and content. ( looking back on my past relationship, I enjoyed dinners and evenings at home with her, and she wanted to go out for dinners and evenings with me- 2 yrs. of everything shut down with Covid kept us home. Fine and happy with me, her/... not so much ...I'm not happy! -bored!) So now i'm getting prepaired for a more active, older lifestyle, by going out dancing 5 times a week! My last relationship was going through early stages of pre-menopause. The hot flashes, sweating in the bed, mood swings, missing periods, thinking it's over but it takes 18 months - I did the research became more knowledgeable, prepared, tried to be a very good, listening understanding, partner!-
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Post by sweetplumeria on Jan 3, 2024 3:13:55 GMT -5
This is the category my wife is in. WOW! |
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Post by lonelyhubby on Jan 11, 2024 7:38:24 GMT -5
And this is the MAIN issue with my Wife - getting her to see she needs to see a specialist rather than her OBGYN. she recently disclosed that she has trauma and form the Ovarian and Uterine cyst biopsies and tests from the last 10 years, and the supposedly great OBGYN did nothing to mitigate pain or discomfort - so that adds to the mental blocks and any activity - making penetration of course painful on top of the pain associated with estrogen reduction or dominance effects. It's all just a mess - trying to get her to see someone - but she is exhausted from everything and is avoiding it.
This explains so much it isn't even funny.
This guys channel is also good:
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Post by isthisit on Jan 11, 2024 11:11:48 GMT -5
So, your Mrs has just disclosed a traumatic event which she has kept quiet about for a decade? How convenient.
I suspect I know why she has reason to avoid engagement with a gynaecologist. If she does seek a consultation I reckon you need to go with her to hear the outcome first hand.
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Post by lonelyhubby on Jan 11, 2024 15:29:58 GMT -5
Yes - I am pushing for a specialist, not her current OBGYN. I knew about the procedures and the discomfort / pain, but she never disclosed the impact before. Never said it was traumatizing either. Hormones screw with your head and thinking also... Could be more of the same mindset / problem
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Post by week5of35years on Jan 12, 2024 4:19:56 GMT -5
And this is the MAIN issue with my Wife - getting her to see she needs to see a specialist rather than her OBGYN. she recently disclosed that she has trauma and form the Ovarian and Uterine cyst biopsies and tests from the last 10 years, and the supposedly great OBGYN did nothing to mitigate pain or discomfort - so that adds to the mental blocks and any activity - making penetration of course painful on top of the pain associated with estrogen reduction or dominance effects. It's all just a mess - trying to get her to see someone - but she is exhausted from everything and is avoiding it. This explains so much it isn't even funny. This guys channel is also good: "but she is exhausted from everything and is avoiding it." When I was chasing my W for some updates on her thinking, plans, thoughts etc in late Nov 23.. My W said she had not had enough time to think about "stuff" almost 10 weeks AFTER we had had @the talk. I pointed out that it was a case of priorities and that if she spent half the time a day thinking about how to get back our sex life intact as she spent watching soap operas on TV, then that would be plenty of time..... She was pissed and told me that was her "relaxing" time.. I asked her if that was as important as "saving our marriage time" she did not reply but got the message... but with a low LL I don't think she is even now giving our sex life many brain cycles TBH... Good luck... just pointing out that even when you make the stakes 100% clear its sometimes not a incentive even then....... |
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Post by sweetplumeria on Jan 12, 2024 6:00:26 GMT -5
And this is the MAIN issue with my Wife - getting her to see she needs to see a specialist rather than her OBGYN. she recently disclosed that she has trauma and form the Ovarian and Uterine cyst biopsies and tests from the last 10 years, and the supposedly great OBGYN did nothing to mitigate pain or discomfort - so that adds to the mental blocks and any activity - making penetration of course painful on top of the pain associated with estrogen reduction or dominance effects. It's all just a mess - trying to get her to see someone - but she is exhausted from everything and is avoiding it. This explains so much it isn't even funny. This guys channel is also good: Thanks for this video! I am had PCOS for years but the problem is I had a really hard time getting diagnosis because my medical providers kept telling me I was fine and I was young. I actually couldn't get any medical help until I was bleeding for a month and they could not ignore that. Ironically I was the high libido's spouse I'm curious if that's from the extra testosterone LOL. Anyways this is way TMI for everybody but I really appreciate it this video. If the woman can't get the proper medical help how she supposed to move forwarding keep her personal relationships healthy. It's a problem for everyone obviously. Thank you for the post. |
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