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Post by beebee on Dec 9, 2023 20:08:45 GMT -5
I am new here, but my marriage has been sexless for 11 years. Immediately prior to that, my husband had 2 affairs which totally devastated me, since it was HE who wanted to get married in our 50s. Three months after the affairs, he got prostate cancer rendering him profoundly impotent. While we are both in our seventies, I still look pretty good and have had an admirer for a long time. But, our relationship has many complications so we cannot have sex either.
I have been angry at my husband for years for cheating on me in our last months of possibly having sex. We have tried pills, pumps, potions, and Tantra. But, there is a part of me that is so angry I am relieved on some levels he cannot have sex.
It would create many problems if we got divorced; plus, I think it's insane to get divorced at my age. What do you all think??
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 9, 2023 21:26:34 GMT -5
I think you have a decision or twomto make. Let me say, welcome to the forun beebee. I am alsoin my 70's(75). And I have had a lot of experience with pill, and pumps, but know nothing of Tantra. The decisions I spoke of are simpley stated as: !. Can you forgive your H for the affairs? 2. Would you have sex with your admirer if it were possible? 3. If it were possible for your H to have an erection would you consider having sex again with him?
Some time back the pills and potions stopped working for me. Fortunately I came across an article on TriMix. It is a mixture of 3 liquids that is injected into the penis. It has done wonders for me as I have a firm erection once again following the injection. So question #3 now possibly becomes relivant. Which leads us back to question #1. Could you forgive your husband given the right set of circumstances? Question #2 I cannot be of much help other than to say that adding a 3rd person into the mix would be a definite game changer, potentially positive and negative in nature.
Generally speaking I would agree that divorceing in one's 70's in a bad move, unless there is some kind of abuse taking place.
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 10, 2023 8:37:25 GMT -5
I got divorced at age 61, 10 years ago. I have never regretted it. I also saw my mom out of fear and shame refuse to divorce my cheating father despite their sleeping separately for years and his having multiple affairs. During her 72s, she ended up being his caregiver for about 5 years after he had a series of strokes. By the time my dad passed away, my mom was so exhausted and depressed she wished to be dead, too. Most women outlive their partners. Many partners fall chronically ill before they die. You could end up like my mom.
Also, fwiw, my ex got kidney cancer a year after we divorced. He's lucky that it was caught early and he has been cancer free since, but I'm glad we were divorced and I didn't have to go through all of that with him. I wish him well but his health is no longer part of my responsibilities. When it comes to my own health, I'm better off not being married to him as my health improved greatly after divorcing him, and if I get sick, he would be the last person I'd want as my caregiver. He is a person who can lack empathy and who also denies serious problems.
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Post by ironhamster on Dec 10, 2023 19:32:30 GMT -5
beebee, welcome. I vote, not insane. Not crazy. While it's not the only option, it's an honest one.
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