Am I in a sexless marriage?
Oct 14, 2023 4:57:01 GMT -5
via mobile
jim44444, worksforme2, and 3 more like this
Post by sweetplumeria on Oct 14, 2023 4:57:01 GMT -5
1. Could this just be a rut? Does it get better? Any tips on where to start?
2. Could I be the problem?
3. What causes a man to not want to be intimate after a baby?
1. It won't get better unless he wants it too.
2. Yes and no. He might make you think your the problem so he can feel better but it is still actually his problem. I wanna add here that his wife not getting her needs met is also his problem you just haven't made him aware of it in a way he can understand.
3. Does it matter why?
After answering your questions I feel like I owe you some explanations of where they come from. I feel like your problems are super relatable to me and perhaps I had the same problems years ago but after 30 years of marriage I'm a bit jaded. I asked all those same questions I tried so many things but at the end of the day I discovered that none of it matters. I was told I was a nympho. I was told that I wanted sex too much. I was given many many many excuses through the years. Finally a friend of mine said why don't you get your needs met. I had to let go of all my morals to start Outsourcing. This was very hard for me to do but once I did it felt so much better initially. I guess I want to say that even though a lot of people feel guilty I was not one of them I was faithful for 16 years and I had reassured him constantly but he hadn't put the same effort in when I had needs. Of course you're getting the cliff notes version but I've been in a sexless marriage for a very long time I have not had sex with my husband since the beginning of 2012. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter why he doesn't want to or why he married me or why there's no sex in my marriage. I think the question that we often don't ask ourselves is how do we want to solve our own problem. I have made so much strides by separating myself. Becoming more independent made him fearful and created strife but and also made him more respectful of me. I came to realize that he didn't respect me. That he likes to control me. I always fell for it because I thought I was being cooperative and helping things work and being helpful. I wish you could have read many of the posts on the old website experience project because there were a lot of people there and a lot of stories there that were super relatable. That relatability helps one feel less alone.
Sorry I might not be very helpful and I might be in that divorce Camp even though I am not divorced. I feel stuck in my life. I don't hate my husband now I did for quite a few years but now I see my own responsibility that I have to make decisions for myself and they may not always make other people happy that's really hard. So fair warning the next phase you might go through is discovering that you might like something different and that your needs are important whether you're spouse thinks so or not.
2. Could I be the problem?
3. What causes a man to not want to be intimate after a baby?
1. It won't get better unless he wants it too.
2. Yes and no. He might make you think your the problem so he can feel better but it is still actually his problem. I wanna add here that his wife not getting her needs met is also his problem you just haven't made him aware of it in a way he can understand.
3. Does it matter why?
After answering your questions I feel like I owe you some explanations of where they come from. I feel like your problems are super relatable to me and perhaps I had the same problems years ago but after 30 years of marriage I'm a bit jaded. I asked all those same questions I tried so many things but at the end of the day I discovered that none of it matters. I was told I was a nympho. I was told that I wanted sex too much. I was given many many many excuses through the years. Finally a friend of mine said why don't you get your needs met. I had to let go of all my morals to start Outsourcing. This was very hard for me to do but once I did it felt so much better initially. I guess I want to say that even though a lot of people feel guilty I was not one of them I was faithful for 16 years and I had reassured him constantly but he hadn't put the same effort in when I had needs. Of course you're getting the cliff notes version but I've been in a sexless marriage for a very long time I have not had sex with my husband since the beginning of 2012. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter why he doesn't want to or why he married me or why there's no sex in my marriage. I think the question that we often don't ask ourselves is how do we want to solve our own problem. I have made so much strides by separating myself. Becoming more independent made him fearful and created strife but and also made him more respectful of me. I came to realize that he didn't respect me. That he likes to control me. I always fell for it because I thought I was being cooperative and helping things work and being helpful. I wish you could have read many of the posts on the old website experience project because there were a lot of people there and a lot of stories there that were super relatable. That relatability helps one feel less alone.
Sorry I might not be very helpful and I might be in that divorce Camp even though I am not divorced. I feel stuck in my life. I don't hate my husband now I did for quite a few years but now I see my own responsibility that I have to make decisions for myself and they may not always make other people happy that's really hard. So fair warning the next phase you might go through is discovering that you might like something different and that your needs are important whether you're spouse thinks so or not.
