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Post by sweetplumeria on Oct 11, 2023 5:00:28 GMT -5
You've asked for "The Meaning of Life". It's a broad subject. At the base of sex is PIV. That's page 1. Tada! You know how to have sex. After that, it's nuance. What areas have you anxious? Flirting? Foreplay? Premature ejaculation? Female physiology and mechanics to exploit the design? All of this,and like compound interest, everyone is different and it compounds the problem. I like to think its like riding a bike. Some have 10 speeds, some are mountain bikes, some have streamers, and some have electric motors. Lol, might take some practice to figure out what kind you are vs what kind someone else is. Mostly I hope your future doesn't involve flat tires and broken chains. Cheers! |
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Post by jim44444 on Oct 13, 2023 8:54:38 GMT -5
You've asked for "The Meaning of Life". It's a broad subject. At the base of sex is PIV. That's page 1. Tada! You know how to have sex. After that, it's nuance. What areas have you anxious? Flirting? Foreplay? Premature ejaculation? Female physiology and mechanics to exploit the design? All of this,and like compound interest, everyone is different and it compounds the problem. I like to think its like riding a bike. Some have 10 speeds, some are mountain bikes, some have streamers, and some have electric motors. Lol, might take some practice to figure out what kind you are vs what kind someone else is. Mostly I hope your future doesn't involve flat tires and broken chains. Cheers! "I hope your future doesn't involve flat tires and broken chains." That is a classic response sweetplumeria. Well said! |
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 13, 2023 10:33:54 GMT -5
As far as your body forgetting what it is like, and what to do about that, if the desire for your refusing wife is gone, it's not your body, it's your mind, and that's ok. I reached a point where I didn't want to have sex with my refuser. I never tried to fix that. I never had that problem with other women.
One trick to lasting longer is "edging." This is often done by getting as close to orgasm then stopping all stimulation, over and over. There are other techniques. This will help when the opportunity arises with the right sort of partner.
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Post by aquacat on Oct 13, 2023 11:34:40 GMT -5
I've got to find a way to finish when my wife and I do have the occasional deed. I know it's all in my head and I don't know how to fix it other than to fantasize and I'm sure my taking care of it on my own so long is part of the problem.
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Post by toughtiger on Oct 19, 2023 22:37:51 GMT -5
I must admit if and when i find someone i am worried i might seem to eager ....
moves may be a bit rusty lol ....
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Post by flyingsolo on Oct 20, 2023 20:05:33 GMT -5
I've got to find a way to finish when my wife and I do have the occasional deed. I know it's all in my head and I don't know how to fix it other than to fantasize and I'm sure my taking care of it on my own so long is part of the problem. So, here's the crux of the matter. Do you still find your wife sexy and does she "do it for you"? If you are having sex to have sex and don't find your partner particularly appealing, it probably isn't going to work for you to finish without fantasizing about something or someone else, regardless of whether you take care of yourself or not. If you do still find your wife attractive, trying fantasizing about doing things with her sexually (or even watching her doing something sexually with someone else if that's your thing) while you are taking care of your own needs. Frankly that was one of the issues I was having as I transitioned from five years of a sexless marriage into sexual intimacy with my girlfriend. At first, because it had been so long since I'd sex, nerves got the better of me and it was hard to finish (not to mentioned I'd had five years of doing my own thing to meet my sexual needs). A hand and a woman are not the same. The more I pictured my girlfriend doing sexual things with me (or my secret weapon, her with another woman) while meeting my own needs (we are in a long-distance relationship), the easier it became to relax, enjoy being in the moment with her, and finish almost every time I wanted to (barring alcohol being involved, which we've discovered is a problem with both of us finishing). So, if you find your wife sexually attractive, try adapting your fantasies to include her and visualize doing those things with her while you are "doing your own thing" rather than thinking about the recent porno you saw, some past girlfriend, etc. Pretty soon you'll be able to finish if and when you are able to have sex with your wife. If you are struggling in the moment with your wife, just go back to the fantasies you used about her in your head when you were doing your own thing and they usually work to finish the deed. Just my two cents, but this method worked like a charm for me. |
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kevinp
Junior Member
sex where R U
Posts: 26
Age Range: 66-70
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Post by kevinp on Nov 14, 2023 8:06:38 GMT -5
I think it’s been so long without sex that I’ve forgotten what to do and what works in the bedroom. I guess people get ideas from pornography. I actually hate pornography. It’s boring and contrived. Since my wife and I don’t have sex and never really talked about how to have it for enjoyment I think I’m such a rookie at this. I guess you only learn a skill by practice and if you don’t do it for years you loose touch. What do people do about this? I think I've lost all confidence with my wife because I know she's as good as asexual, not having HRT for so long after full hystorectomy. I don't have the opportunity to try myself out. Maybe withn an understanding lover I could get up to speed again. No impotence here, just slow reaction time. Age is a factor too. 70. It's still as frustrating at my age, even more so. |
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