m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
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Post by m76 on Sept 9, 2023 17:06:27 GMT -5
So my first FWB attempt with the much younger guy didn’t work out. He is looking for something more serious I guess. Or I probably gave the wrong signal that I was looking for something more serious, which I wasn’t. I just never know how to have sex without having a relationship before, so I don’t know how to give clear signal that I am looking for causal sex…anyway, after him initiating, chasing and planning, he ghosted our first “date”… I am moving on now. I don’t need any drama or emotional entanglement at this point of my life. I want to ask some advice on how to safely find a FWB. I mean like no serial killer, STD, any weird sex fetish or stalker. I think I am going online, but I feel embarrassed if I met people know me or my husband in the same town online. Any website you use or any other strategies to find a good match? I told my husband I am going to date or have a “situationship” during the divorce. He accepted what it is now. I know I've seen a number of women on Tinder advertising for polygamous or "ethical non-monogamy" relationships but I have yet to match with one of these women. A woman outright advertising that she's looking for a FWB that understands the world of SM would be a unicorn to me. If you're worried about people you know finding out you could blur your picture or not show your face in the profile. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 9, 2023 17:11:38 GMT -5
Going on line is no guarantee of a sure fire relatonship. I have had a dozen, at least, women iniate a conversation with me on various dating sites, and after a few messages back and forth, they suddenly disappear. So from a male perspective I cannot recommend any online dating sites that work for a FWB. I did notice that Match.com has a site for hookups and casual sex. It is populated by people 40 and under for the most part. But that is sort of to be expected.
About STD's you can insist on a doctors report that they are clean as of the date of the testing. If someone that knows you sees you on a site looking for casual sex it would be because they are there for the same reason. And it might be good if they know you as they might be more inclined to iniate a conversation.
It's hard to say what scared off your 1st younger guy. If he lacked the moxie to engage you are probably just as well off. Much younger guys generally lack the experience to really satisfy an older and more savy woman. (Just my feeling)
Several of the women here have reported good results from Ashley Madison. Males outmunber females by a ratio of about 50 to 1. Pretty good odds I'd say for a woman.
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even
Junior Member
Posts: 22
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Post by even on Sept 9, 2023 18:09:37 GMT -5
Going on line is no guarantee of a sure fire relatonship. I have had a dozen, at least, women iniate a conversation with me on various dating sites, and after a few messages back and forth, they suddenly disappear. So from a male perspective I cannot recommend any online dating sites that work for a FWB. I did notice that Match.com has a site for hookups and casual sex. It is populated by people 40 and under for the most part. But that is sort of to be expected. About STD's you can insist on a doctors report that they are clean as of the date of the testing. If someone that knows you sees you on a site looking for caasual sex it would be because they are there for the same reason. And it might be good if they know you as they might be more inclined to iniate a conversation. It's hard to say what scared off your 1st younger guy. If he lacked the moxie to engage you are probably just as well off. Much younger guys generally lack the experience to really satisfy an older and more savy woman. (Just my feeling) Several of the women here have reported good results from Ashley Madison. Males outmunber females by a ratio of about 50 to 1. Pretty good odds I'd say for a woman. Oddly, I like guys without much experience. I honestly don’t have too much experience myself. Guys with a lot of experience scares me because I may not want to experiment much. I just want boring sex to get my hormones going. I was worried before about this younger guy (he is 17 years younger than me, I look much younger than my age) because he was acting very protective of me and always taking care of me when we were together. I feel he is looking for something more serious or he was just playing me all along. Anyway, he is out of my rotation. I need new interests… I am going to check out Ashely Madison. Thanks for your response. |
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 9, 2023 22:54:26 GMT -5
Any app is a dating app. There may be guys on this site, and they are certainly familiar with the SM world. Ashley Madison will probably work fine for a woman. The ratio M to F is dismal for the male user.
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 19, 2023 21:02:19 GMT -5
Swingers/sex clubs allow single ladies to drop in. (Guys generally need a lady friend to escort them.)
These places have high incentive to keep their lady customers safe and finding someone who'll keep the mood light should be pretty easy.
Not having been to one, I'm going off what I've heard.
Some ILIASM members have actually been to correct my suggestion, if need be.
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 21, 2023 23:45:41 GMT -5
Swingers/sex clubs allow single ladies to drop in. (Guys generally need a lady friend to escort them.) These places have high incentive to keep their lady customers safe and finding someone who'll keep the mood light should be pretty easy. Not having been to one, I'm going off what I've heard. Some ILIASM members have actually been to correct my suggestion, if need be. Two of the three local sex clubs, both catering to swingers, have door fees that are higher for single men than for couples. Some women will wait until they see a single male, then go in with him, saving the cost of entrance and lowering his. This is just to keep the numbers even, so, once in they both go their own ways typically. The third club has a flat door fee, and is LGBT friendly, so, well, there's that to be concerned with. All of them are very strong on consent, so women can be expected to be treated as well or better than they would at any bar, because the guy that's a weirdo will get 86'd and never allowed back in. The club in my previous city of residence was more strict on the numbers. Single men and women could sign up for an event, and would be paired up randomly, again just to keep the numbers even but more so. Odds were pretty good to get in as a single woman. |
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even
Junior Member
Posts: 22
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Post by even on Sept 28, 2023 18:52:23 GMT -5
Successfully ended my sexless life:) thanks for all the input!
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FWB?
Sept 29, 2023 6:08:34 GMT -5
Post by mirrororchid on Sept 29, 2023 6:08:34 GMT -5
Your other threads suggested you were initiating divorce and getting some action at the same time.
Is that your deal? Nosy people are asking.
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even
Junior Member
Posts: 22
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Post by even on Sept 29, 2023 20:25:42 GMT -5
Your other threads suggested you were initiating divorce and getting some action at the same time. Is that your deal? Nosy people are asking. Yes. I asked for a divorce. We are separated at the time being, just figuring out finance, childcare and housing. I am not ready for a relationship, but I am not holding myself back for finding a fwb now. After having the first sex experience after almost 6 years, it felt a lot of things changed within me. I feel clearer now that I am moving forward, not backwards. I am still hoping it can be a steady fwb situation (he looks delicious  , so I don’t have to worry about STD and wasting time meeting people having no chemistry. We will see. But yeah, it is all going to be OK either way. |
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, so I don’t have to worry about STD and wasting time meeting people having no chemistry. 