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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 19, 2023 15:57:14 GMT -5
For those of us who have entered opposite land, how important is body count to you when meeting other potential partners?
For those who have had little sucsess with dating (and finding intimacy/sex ) and are considering paying for sex and intimacy,does the idea of ending up with a high body count concern you? What does it do to you mentally? How does it affect your self worth?
For the record my body count is relatively low The number is 5. 1- marriage. 2 -long term relationships. ( one before marriage, and one after divorce) and 2- one night stands ( one of those was at 18 yrs. old the H.S. graduation trip where everyone's goal is to get laid!)
Now in my late 50's I'm going to be turned off to women with a high body count. However, I'm even more turned off by women close to my age who have given up on sex entirely, and have the ( I don't need a man") mentality, however, they will gladly except and ask for your attention! ( the friend zone, daily texting, pen pals)
How important is someones past body count? And how far back in the past are you willing to go , before it' doesn't matter?
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 19, 2023 17:46:54 GMT -5
My post sm partner was 60 when we started dating. He has never been married, but has lived with 3 women, including one whom he lived with for about 7 years. His body count is 50. Frankly, it turns me on that he has had so much experience, much more than I have had. My refuser ex husband and I married in our late 20s, but he had been a virgin until he was about 23. I think his body count was only about 4 people. Mine was higher, and I always felt that our different body counts reflected a big difference in libido. I was 19 when I started having sex. I can't imagine waiting until I was 23.
Interestingly, I've never been asked my body count by a man. If someone asked, I'd tell them it's none of their business. And if someone didn't want to answer (my current partner was hesitant because he feared it would scare me off), that would be fine with me, too.
I think it's weird that now prospective partners are asking such a question. If someone were a virgin, I'd want to know that (and would avoid having sex with them since they'd either be decades younger than me or very repressed). But other than that, body count isn't important to me at my age (72). I expect that any partner I would have at my age would have had sex before, possibly a lot of sex, and if they had been with a longterm partner, then most of the sex would have been with that partner. It would, in fact, be off-putting if someone my age hadn't had much sex. I know that some here who are in or have been in a SM feel they would be comfortable finding a partner who also had experienced extended sexlessness in a relationship. However, I wanted someone who didn't have such an experience because I wanted someone who was sexually confident and could teach me, and who believed sex is so important in a romantic relationship that they wouldn't have had extended periods of marital/relationship sexlessness because they would have ended the relationship over that.
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m76
Full Member
Posts: 119
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Post by m76 on Aug 19, 2023 19:20:22 GMT -5
Body count means nothing to me as long as the attention is with me now in the present.
That being said my personal count is 1. I married my wife right out of high school. Had a couple of kids and then that was the end of my sex life.
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 19, 2023 23:22:04 GMT -5
Body count means nothing to me as long as the attention is with me now in the present. That being said my personal count is 1. I married my wife right out of high school. Had a couple of kids and then that was the end of my sex life. This is the stuff that nightmares are made of.....sorry m76 |
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 20, 2023 10:28:54 GMT -5
Is body count a deal breaker?
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Post by toughtiger on Aug 22, 2023 20:52:24 GMT -5
Does anyone find it ironic that in this day and age many seem freaked out by body count ........
after decades really of more and more non traditional relationships ...........people are so puritan about what some consider cheating etc too...
every tv/ movie has people with huge body counts ......
some actors even made a career of it in the case of two and a half men tv show.
why does a public who act like body count should be low support entertainment and the porn industry that strive on high body count.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 24, 2023 5:40:59 GMT -5
Does anyone find it ironic that in this day and age many seem freaked out by body count ........ after decades really of more and more non traditional relationships ...........people are so puritan about what some consider cheating etc too... every tv/ movie has people with huge body counts ...... some actors even made a career of it in the case of two and a half men tv show. why does a public who act like body count should be low support entertainment and the porn industry that strive on high body count. If you get a chance to listen to either of the two women that i posted above, they explain the difference in what the majority of people today still want, and need. Compared to what the small, minority portrays. Hence the term "the silent majority". As you mentioned, the media, Hollywood, Tic Tock, snap chat, porn industry, dating sites, ( women who are putting their 10 naked **s pics up on Instagram) are the 1% that get 99% of the attention. The most controversial get the most hits and go viral! Especially in this day and age with everyone glued to a screen demanding 30 second gratification, today's teens attention span is down to 8 seconds (ie-Instagram)( how sad is that?) no wonder they're diluted by a high body-count as being the norm. |
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Post by TMD on Aug 24, 2023 22:11:28 GMT -5
I have a strong aversion to the phrase, “body count.” It feels judgmental, a throw back to my conservative Christian upbringing, and, IMO, it’s irrelevant.
What I’m looking for (what I found) is an integrated relationship. My guy was married. He also had an affair, although short lived because he left his ex quickly and continued with AP for 5-6 more years after that. He doesn’t have a high body count, compared to mine (we didn’t exchange #s, I don’t even know what mine is). But I do know he is less experienced when it comes to sex.
However, it doesn’t matter. We have a healthy sexual component to our relationship and a healthy relationship. Maturity, respect, attraction, common interests are higher on the list than a person’s body count.
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 25, 2023 4:51:53 GMT -5
The "body count" doesn't concern me one bit. My focus has always been on things I consider more important. One thing I do want is honest communication. Everybody at this point of their lives has a past. If they want to keep that secret I lose trust pretty quickly. This is probably a back-lash to my refusing wife never wanting to discuss her past. I'm pretty sure that was because she really didn't have one and didn't want me to know how low her libido really was.
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Post by baza on Aug 25, 2023 5:58:21 GMT -5
Been out since 2009.
Been in a relationship since 2010 with the delctable Ms enna30 .
She was considerably more sexually active than me up to 2010 - as far as I know - but I've never asked for details.
I'm not especially interested in pre 2009.
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Post by toughtiger on Aug 25, 2023 13:23:15 GMT -5
greatcoastal interesting video very entertaining and spot on ..... lol think i have some videos to look up and watch now. i think many women who have a high body count would like to rationalize their behavior or encourage others to go nuts. Like any other item context is important if a count of real connected relationships vs I only know his first name or twitter handle lol if people who rationalize these things it is often for others ....... like it is "ok girl" .... yeah but when they are dating them it is eww no thanks.
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 25, 2023 13:34:19 GMT -5
I am going to rationalize a somewhat high body count. Throughout my working career I traveled all over the US doing large constructions projects. Rarely was I ever in one spot more than one or two years. This necessitated a new relatonship(s) when ever I relocated to a different state. Thus if I moved 10 times in ten years I might have 10 or more different partners, thus aquiring a high body count over the years. Not what I set out to do, but that was the hand I was delt.
Let's just call it my fate.
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Post by dallasgia on Sept 10, 2023 20:52:10 GMT -5
I bet I couldn’t get my “body count” accurate. I should have wrote that down before the memory started to fade. It’s all a fog after 26 yrs of marriage - a decade of drought hell SM.
4 long time lovers (spouse included) - maybe 10-15 short lived lovers . I really enjoyed sex in my youth. If a guy struggled in the bedroom with me I would chalk it up to lacking chemistry and move on.
I would probably find a recently high body count intimidating - like I was on a sex interview.
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Post by h on Sept 20, 2023 14:42:44 GMT -5
I think my view would be different depending on my specific relationship goals after a divorce. If I had divorced earlier, I would have been looking for a potential mother for my future children. That would make me desire a woman who had more discretion and was less likely to have a public reputation that could embarrass our children down the road. I'm not talking about a virgin, but not the town bicycle either. Now that I am past my personal limit for having children and have no interest in ever legally marrying again, I couldn't care less about body count. It's no longer a relevant factor.
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Post by wishfulthinking on Sept 20, 2023 17:07:38 GMT -5
I have a low body count of two, which is pretty embarrassing for a 50 something man,and was due to a lack of success with dating.
Both women I've slept with (my wife included), were virgins when we met. I think I would be a bit intimidated if I met someone with a high body count.
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