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Post by lessingham on Jul 17, 2023 3:11:41 GMT -5
My wife is addicted to the Tour de France. Several hours a day for 3 weeks, sat on the sofa glued to the tv. I hate it. I feel discarded and just a servant bringing her meals and drinks. We are going through an uber refusal phrase, no sex, no discussion of sex, no physical affection. She makes me feel as if she is repulsed by my very presence. I am in a dark place. I cannot muster the courage to throw a major strop, walk out or leave. I am stuck. I cannot find the courage to fight for a real sex life with her. I cannot even tell her to get her own fucking coffee in case she misses a millisecond of a five hour race. (Pardon the swearing). I know what I have to do and yet I am too much of a coward to act. Part of me wants to hire a high class hooker to the house and say to her, you enjoy your sport and I'll enjoy what I adore upstairs. Pathetically childish but it will break the log ham one way or t'other. Wonder if she would make coffee midway?
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 17, 2023 5:59:22 GMT -5
Sorry man. Sounds like you're the male equivalent of a " football widow". Waiting on her while she compresses sofa cushions. That part is kinda on you. It's not as though those five hours were going to go to sexy time if she weren't watching men exercising for money. (The concept of professional sports is weird, to me.) I have to check your history. No doubt you've explained before why you don't have a FWB already. Crippling insecurity, if I recall. If you do, or you get that "escort" you dream about, heed the Baza.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 17, 2023 6:05:01 GMT -5
Your W is not unique in her persuit of viewing her favorite sport. My X is passonate about (American) football. She has a team jersey she wore when watching it while we were still married. She is still a fan so Sunday afternoon and Monday night are set aside for professional football. I was OK with this because I am also a fan but to a much lesser extent. I didn't have to wait on her but but like your misses, conversation, physical interaction was strictly off the table. In my opinion your stock would quadrouple in value if you mustered the courage to bring in a pro to get some sweet nookie.In all probability your W would go balastic, but it might be worth the fallout to assert your independence from her tryrany.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Jul 17, 2023 6:43:38 GMT -5
I stayed way too long because I'm a good person and hurting someone that bad was really hard for me. Also I had never lived alone I'm sure that factored in. I had no issue saying get your own whatever because I was unhappy and filled with resentment. I finally just blurted it out and stuck to it. Refused to discuss it. After I got out the guilt was still there so I went to counseling. I wish I would have done that before I left . The courage was there I just had to give myself permission to use it. If you haven't went to counseling for yourself ... you should. Even if you don't leave.
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 17, 2023 7:32:09 GMT -5
One thing you are missing is, you can do whatever you want just as much as she does.
Both of you have autonomy. If you don't bring her some coffee, what's she going to do? Ignore you? She's doing that already. Yell? You don't have to stay and listen.
I suggest that you stop playing by her rules.
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Post by jim44444 on Jul 17, 2023 19:28:26 GMT -5
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Post by lessingham on Jul 20, 2023 2:36:23 GMT -5
You are right, I am playing by her rules to get a reward she will never give. But she has now developed a stomach ache, usual sign of when I kick back against her rules.
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 20, 2023 2:54:06 GMT -5
You are right, I am playing by her rules to get a reward she will never give. But she has now developed a stomach ache, usual sign of when I kick back against her rules. Her stomach ache is not your problem. Perhaps get a bottle of Pepto Bismo and leave it in the bathroom for her. If she wants it, she'll know where it is.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 20, 2023 6:24:36 GMT -5
You are right, I am playing by her rules to get a reward she will never give. But she has now developed a stomach ache, usual sign of when I kick back against her rules. If you are satisified that she is predisposed to a stomach ache when you kick back against her bullying, time to just ignore it and keep pushing back. Some rules are ment to be broken. The sooner and the more often you kick back against her bad rules the more your sense of pride in your accomplishment of asserting your independence will start to foster a better dynamic in your marriage. Better for you, not necessarily for her.
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