"Everything is Fine in Our Marriage Except Sex"
May 12, 2023 5:58:14 GMT -5
northstarmom and dallasgia like this
Post by mirrororchid on May 12, 2023 5:58:14 GMT -5
Season 3, Episode 34, Dr. Psych Mom
"Everything is Fine in Our Marriage Except Sex"
podcasts.apple.com/dk/podcast/everything-is-fine-in-our-marriage-except-sex/id1603301666?i=1000607857263
I was tickled she had an episode titled with that classic line new visitors have in their heads.
SPOILER:
Dr. Psychmom has advocated for engaging responsive libido. Even if you're not in the mood, you may want to try initiating anyway.
In this episode she speaks of hairy personality issues that can cause people to refuse to implement this thirty minute ritual that may make fixing bigger marriage problems a lot easier.
So, I would put it to her, and she might even agree that, in some circumstances, everything is great, but the sex; because the sex would fix the more challenging stuff by allowing the refused partner to care far more about fixing them and encourage flexibility and generosity. Some of it may similarly loosen matters on the refused partner's side. Then the virtuous cycle takes over; a good shot of oxytocin/prolactin cocktail can grease wheels like little else.
Changing your personality quirks is mental, and sometimes literally emotional, labor. Interest in a refused partner seems likely to garner enthusiasm for this investment of effort, recalling many a refused spouse has not been to ILIASM to hear Apocrypha's theory that refusers are actively resisting the idea of intimacy. This minimal level of bond between spouses is not teh small ask some refused partners think it is. (That's not to say it's too much to ask nor that it isn't a minimal bar to pass)
Gratitude for a good romp can produce spontaneous gestures of affection that the refused partner felt was lacking. The same gratitude can inspire him or her to get to an errand or chore they've put off because they were bummed by long term celibacy. They can do a better job of not commenting on the pretty ladies on the teevee or endlessly droning on about the Chicago Cubs at the breakfast table.
It builds. And it can all start with a proper, engaged roll in the hay.
All it needs is some open minded and some vestigial wish for the marriage to work.
"Everything is Fine in Our Marriage Except Sex"
podcasts.apple.com/dk/podcast/everything-is-fine-in-our-marriage-except-sex/id1603301666?i=1000607857263
I was tickled she had an episode titled with that classic line new visitors have in their heads.
SPOILER:
Dr. Psychmom has advocated for engaging responsive libido. Even if you're not in the mood, you may want to try initiating anyway.
In this episode she speaks of hairy personality issues that can cause people to refuse to implement this thirty minute ritual that may make fixing bigger marriage problems a lot easier.
So, I would put it to her, and she might even agree that, in some circumstances, everything is great, but the sex; because the sex would fix the more challenging stuff by allowing the refused partner to care far more about fixing them and encourage flexibility and generosity. Some of it may similarly loosen matters on the refused partner's side. Then the virtuous cycle takes over; a good shot of oxytocin/prolactin cocktail can grease wheels like little else.
Changing your personality quirks is mental, and sometimes literally emotional, labor. Interest in a refused partner seems likely to garner enthusiasm for this investment of effort, recalling many a refused spouse has not been to ILIASM to hear Apocrypha's theory that refusers are actively resisting the idea of intimacy. This minimal level of bond between spouses is not teh small ask some refused partners think it is. (That's not to say it's too much to ask nor that it isn't a minimal bar to pass)
Gratitude for a good romp can produce spontaneous gestures of affection that the refused partner felt was lacking. The same gratitude can inspire him or her to get to an errand or chore they've put off because they were bummed by long term celibacy. They can do a better job of not commenting on the pretty ladies on the teevee or endlessly droning on about the Chicago Cubs at the breakfast table.
It builds. And it can all start with a proper, engaged roll in the hay.
All it needs is some open minded and some vestigial wish for the marriage to work.
