New to the forum

Hello gary1662 .

Do you also worry about the example you and your missus are setting for your child ?

Your story reads like a room-mate situation, and she doesn't even come across as a decent room-mate.

Anyway, you dont actually "have to" do anything.
You can stay in your ILIASM situation - that's a perfectly valid choice.
You could cheat - another perfectly valid choice.
You could leave - another perfectly valid choice.

These choices are all perfectly valid, but they all come with consequences.

Often times it comes down to what you perceive to be "the least worst" choice.

Welcome Gary1662.

Had some questions/comments:


How old is your daughter? Married 14 years, you may have 4 years to go, or 17. That's a very wide range of experiences.
It may be vital to know if child support in your region stops at 18 or has caveats that last longer. (mandatory college tuition contribution, health insurance, other)
Was your relationship sexless before the marriage too? 

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Do you do all the cooking and laundry for your wife's food and clothes too? Or it's every-person-for-themselves?
I'll jump ahead and ask whether there's any potential mental issues such as clinical depression? Any medication involved? (even non-psych meds can affect sexual drive)

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Baza mentions "cheating" as an option to regain intimacy into your life (if you ever had it).
If you wander around ILIASM, you'll see me flesh this out into two important flavors: secret and disclosed.

Most people go the secret route. The affair. Getting some, and hiding it.
I'm unsure why this option is so disproportionately popular. It's too often discovered anyway, adds deception to the "crime" of infidelity, and removes the possibility of a collaborative solution to an unacceptable intimate relationship.

Disclosed infidelity (often referred to as "outsourcing" here at ILIASM) is a situation where you inform your spouse of your intent to open the marriage. Baza is rightly quick to warn that this intention or fulfillment of the plan will cause divorce, so it is optimal to make sure you know what to expect if your spouse insists on celibacy or your spouse will torch the marriage. Get that legal opinion before you begin.
Mrs. MirrorOrchid chose to resume intimate companionship rather than have me find intimate time elsewhere. I've only read about four cases of informed outsourcing having been proposed, and all four resulted in intact marriages and resolution of sexlessness. Four is way too small a sample size to assume your marriage would survive outsourcing, but it bears observation that the success ratio of informed outsourcing resolving sexlessness and keeping the marriage is startlingly good.

If divorce is triggered by the initiation of outsourcing, sexlessness may well have been resolved as well, though the marriage not be saved.
If your spouse destroys your marriage in order to deny you a simple, basic, yet outsized fraction of human existence, some might find the refusing spouse a less sympathetic figure.
In the event you secure permission, consent, or even approval, of outsourcing, you will have found "consensual non-monogamy", the leprecorn.