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Post by h on May 8, 2023 8:56:13 GMT -5
I'd "like" your posts in order to signal my support, H, but I do not like what's happening to you. Feels inappropriate to click "Thumbs up" I take the likes as they are intended. I get the seeming contradiction though. Thanks. |
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Post by h on May 8, 2023 9:10:08 GMT -5
h You come across very pragmatic. I think it will suit you well in a time like this. Don't lose sight of that. Give yourself some time and priority as well. Find some things you enjoy doing for you. That will give you some momentum. She already went through cancer back when we were in college and just dating. I stayed with her, lived with her, and took care of her then and we got married after she was recovered and back to nearly full health. Her health back then had no influence on my decision to marry her. I still want out today and I still have no romantic feelings for her anymore. Her current health issues haven't changed my desire to divorce, but only taken away my ability to afford it. They caught it very early and unintentionally when they were doing routine tests for other things. Given the small size of the mass, the easily accessible location, her generally healthy eating and overall condition, I have no doubt she will fully and quickly recover. Even if she recovers quickly and completely, she still loses her promotion and the pay raise she was going to get because her boss won't risk having someone in an authority position who isn't totally focused on work. That's also assuming she keeps her job at all, depending on how much recovery time she needs. If she loses her job entirely, it could be another decade or more before she gets back to a point where she could live on her own, clawing her way back up the ladder at a new place. In that case it will be at least that long before I could afford to pay alimony since I will have to cut back on paying down my own debts to cover her bills that she couldn't pay. Best case scenario is they let her keep her current job and after the medical issues are over, I can revisit the divorce in 2-3 years to make sure this new cancer is really gone. She's currently on my employer sponsored health insurance. Her job offers health insurance but they would take too much out of her paycheck for it to be worth taking unless she had gotten the promotion. This also will be something I will have to compensate her for in a divorce situation because the loss of my health insurance would be factored in as a reduction in her earnings, increasing our income discrepancy and therefore increasing my alimony payment. Pragmatic is what I am. I'm a chess player. I use that logic in most areas of my life. I think about my choices, and then think about all the possible ways that others could respond to each choice, and then think about the subsequent choices I would have available after that... |
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Post by csl on May 9, 2023 6:03:09 GMT -5
h You come across very pragmatic. I think it will suit you well in a time like this. Don't lose sight of that. Give yourself some time and priority as well. Find some things you enjoy doing for you. That will give you some momentum. Pragmatic is what I am. I'm a chess player. I use that logic in most areas of my life. I think about my choices, and then think about all the possible ways that others could respond to each choice, and then think about the subsequent choices I would have available after that... CHESS!!! I used to play avidly before computers screwed up all competition. Colle System for white, Caro-Kahn and Benko Gambit for black. Life member of the USCF. |
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Post by h on May 9, 2023 7:33:27 GMT -5
Pragmatic is what I am. I'm a chess player. I use that logic in most areas of my life. I think about my choices, and then think about all the possible ways that others could respond to each choice, and then think about the subsequent choices I would have available after that... CHESS!!! I used to play avidly before computers screwed up all competition. Colle System for white, Caro-Kahn and Benko Gambit for black. Life member of the USCF. I'm not professional and don't have any formal training. I just played with my dad as a kid and a couple friends in highschool. He taught me the basic rules for each piece and that was it. We never used timers and a game lasted as long as was required. It was my first life lesson. He never once let me win. I had to learn from my mistakes each game and anticipate responses to each of my possible moves. The day I finally beat him, I knew I earned it. From that, I learned the boy scout motto: be prepared. Think ahead before you act and don't make a move that you may regret later. |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on May 9, 2023 21:49:14 GMT -5
If you need the distraction, check out the fiction book project hail mary. It will appeal to your pragmatic nature I think.
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