Yes. She contacted me the week after the marriage. However, Ron had a house on the market this summer. If he sold his house, he had to be living somewhere, which is evidence she was cohabitating. The maintenance ends on whichever comes first, and they are withholding information on the cohabitation issue.
It should be public record, the day the house was sold and the amount. Does he own more than one home? Did he rent a room? an apartment? Move in with a relative? Sold the house but continued to live there? Does he have more than one mailing address?
What length of time does the state of Illinois say qualifies for cohabitation? In Florida It was 6 months. So you could live with some one for 5 months and 3 weeks, then go live with a relative or a friend for 2 weeks and do it all again. ( my attorney informed me of this) Meanwhile you have a P.O. box for your mail and bills. ( most bills are all on line- mail is obsolete)
In Fl. you don't have to be married, just cohabiting qualifies as a couple. I do wonder about having someone as a tenant?
Post by ironhamster on Jan 28, 2023 8:31:24 GMT -5
Illinois is vague on what cohabitation is. It's been called at the appellate level when someone photographs the significant other's vehicle at the ex's house for two weeks straight. In a relationship four years long preceeding their marriage, it's entirely possible that the cohabitation date was much earlier, but might be hard to prove.
As a renter, if there was a relationship, that would be cohabitation. Of course, that's another thing that is hard to prove. That's where a PI comes in, snooping and taking pictures of the couple expressing affection in public.
It cab be easy to get caught up in trying to establish co-habitation issues and suchlike.
It is probably worth considering if the financial / emotional costs involved of 'proving' such things are worth the aggravation involved.
In my case, there was a sticking point concerning a sum of money my missus regarded as "hers" (it was actually a divisible asset) and I 'could' have proven that to a court quite easily .... and then our respective lawyers would have probably argued the toss for a year or more and billed us exhorbitantly for the service. Or, I could have conceded that money was hers and written it off and saved myself in legal costs, time, and aggravation.
I chose the latter. Figuring the disputed money would end up being dispersed 20% to our respective lawyers, and then 40% to her, and 40% to me. And, it would get the thing done and ended. Cost me some money - saved me a heap of time and aggravation. For me, that was a good trade off.
Bear in mind that was about 9 years ago. I've rarely thought about it since.
Post by ironhamster on Jan 30, 2023 12:23:03 GMT -5
I'd be happier with the peace of mind, too, baza. This whole shitshow erupted when, after emailing me to know she was married, which ended everything but the life insurance policy, she signed an order which her lawyer filed, coming back for more. As long as she has arrows in her quiver this war won't be over.
For starters, anonymous posting on this board is of the highest value. I don't recommend anyone else do a reveal.
Even in a no fault state, judges have biases. I realized this is something that has been used against me by her legal team. They have presented her as the faithful Christian homeschool mom that gave up her career at my command and now found herself without the skills to earn a living. My original lawyer, Tamara Meister of Butler Giraudo & Meister, P.C., was repeatedly informed but never to my knowledge corrected the record. I have tried to get details of what was said in closed door hearings but the court keeps no record so it us impossible to prove she said anything to defend me, but there is absolutely no recorded instance of her correcting it in any of the written pleadings.
My point here is to, truthfully, give her new husband glimpse of what he has, if he ever wonders when he looks down at the ring on his finger. It's also to expose a bit of ugly truth about our court system and hopefully help anyone else faced with similar legal hurdles, even if it exposes my identity. I feel I have nothing to lose, and others have things to gain.
Not at all, regarding the judge. The judge is done with us, I hope. I'm not going back to reclaim anything I left on the table. It might be expensive for my ex to come back at me. The only thing that remains is filing ethics violations against the attorneys. I think I owe both of firms that.
I think the issue of defamation is moot. I've made my filings non-confidential and made my case far more honest than Stephens, Fiddes, and McGill made my ex's. If my ex didn't want her dirty laundry made public she should have kept it clean beforehand.
The only new thing is, she has a new likely victim. He deserves a warning. Just because I am putting the relationship behind me doesn't mean I can't leave that warning.