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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 12, 2023 9:28:46 GMT -5
My husband and I are so entwined financially that I can’t even begin to figure out how to tease the money apart. We both have pensions and a paid off house. If I was to leave, apartment costs are astronomical in my area. It would cripple both of us financially. I do regularly revisit finding NSA sex outside of marriage. I’m a bisexual woman so the field is open. I dread the thought of dying without having more sex in my life. I do find it ironic that my husband wants a lot of what he calls intimacy (hugs, touches, holding) which all comes from me….yet there is no sex or openness to my needs. Your post should reinforce to any lurker or passerby that ending up with a refusing spouse isn't limited to heterosexual couples. On the old EP site, I remember one poster in a long-term lesbian relationship who faced this issue. The description and behaviors of her partner could have been those most avoidant males. Your post is somewhat unique from the perspective of the medical condition that may be part and parcel of he behaves as he does. Even so it doesn't do anything to relieve you of being forced into celibacy. It's always noteworthy to note so many refusers also refuse to allow their partners to seek intimacy outside the marriage. I understand some may fear the outsourcing spouse may fall in love or the new partner may be lightyears ahead when it comes to skills. My X was the same. She didn't want any real intimacy and she was adamant I should not have a FWB. She preferred a divorce over another woman in the bed. It's incredable how selfish our partners are in this regard. |
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Post by angeleyes65 on Jan 12, 2023 10:18:40 GMT -5
My husband and I are so entwined financially that I can’t even begin to figure out how to tease the money apart. We both have pensions and a paid off house. If I was to leave, apartment costs are astronomical in my area. It would cripple both of us financially. I do regularly revisit finding NSA sex outside of marriage. I’m a bisexual woman so the field is open. I dread the thought of dying without having more sex in my life. I do find it ironic that my husband wants a lot of what he calls intimacy (hugs, touches, holding) which all comes from me….yet there is no sex or openness to my needs. I can relate to the wanting the hugs and hand holding but not the sex. Honestly I think he used it to reassure himself (wrongly) that I was ok and wouldn't leave. Even though my words told him the truth. I eventually withdrew all that. I didn't want it. It felt fake and I was only doing it for him. Why meet his needs when he isn't worried about mine? |
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