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Post by casual777 on Nov 22, 2022 17:29:34 GMT -5
So I posted previously
Frequency had been decreasing
Hadn’t quite hit single figures per annum
I had started outsourcing
Strangely I got into a poly situation with s mixed group . My outlet is a mixed group male and female
Well in 2022 we are up to 8 episodes of intercourse at home . I think this year will be the year of actual statistical sexlessness rather than feared sexlessness
The only big thing for me is summer holidays . I have said that I have little interest in visiting family resorts where other couples are Kissing and rubbing suntan lotion on each other when she is so averse to being tactile with me Why would I spend thousands being less happy than I am at home .? She is unhappy at this as she wants similar holidays to what we are used to rather Than renting a villa or a city break .
It’s good for her to see a conséquence of her refusal and a genuine one not a punitive action from me .
Other than that kids are good , we don’t argue much , I do lots of housework , and things look normal from the outside
Her refusal to have any discussions with the doctor about dealing with peri menopausal issues means i have little interest in stopping outsourcing . I am not a victim here . I am a red blooded male trying to manage sexless ness at home and being very aware that divorce will impact the kids
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Post by mirrororchid on Nov 24, 2022 8:33:07 GMT -5
Hadn’t quite hit single figures per annum I had started outsourcing Strangely I got into a poly situation with s mixed group . My outlet is a mixed group male and female... Well in 2022 we are up to 8 episodes of intercourse at home . I think this year will be the year of actual statistical sexlessness rather than feared sexlessness ...Her refusal to have any discussions with the doctor about dealing with peri menopausal issues means i have little interest in stopping outsourcing . I am not a victim here . I am a red blooded male trying to manage sexless ness at home and being very aware that divorce will impact the kids This sounds pretty great. A shame if teh wife would decide to eff it up. How often do you and the polycule get frisky? Between the two outlets, maybe you're gonna be more than okay. A bit jealous. Kitchen table poly strikes me as an ideal. |
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Post by casual777 on Dec 1, 2022 0:46:32 GMT -5
I am away with work a lot so every week pretty much one of the group is available as a minimum
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Post by casual777 on Dec 31, 2022 2:39:20 GMT -5
It’s official . 9 times this year so having threatened to for ages , I am now in a sexless marriage
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Post by blunder8 on Jan 2, 2023 15:03:32 GMT -5
It’s official . 9 times this year so having threatened to for ages , I am now in a sexless marriage Sorry. I know your pain. Stay strong and resolve to improve yourself. I've been an official member for decades. 2022 was the first year in decades (30+ years) that I escaped the club...barely, but trending up. |
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 4, 2023 7:21:34 GMT -5
It’s official . 9 times this year so having threatened to for ages , I am now in a sexless marriage Sorry to hear about the "appropriate" outlet for intimate expression being so scarce. Are your other opportunities of comfort? I picture having intimate companions outside of my marriage as being an enormous salve, but maybe it can be far less than I figure on. People will react differently. Some ILIASM members outsource and that's what helps them realize their hardcore monogamous nature. They must be with one only, and be intimately physical with that one person. Marriage to a non-sexual partner is interference, not a supplement for them. Might that be something like your experience? |
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Update
Jan 12, 2023 3:12:37 GMT -5
via mobile
jerri likes this
Post by sweetplumeria on Jan 12, 2023 3:12:37 GMT -5
Sorry Casual... now this is all I can think about...
Strangely I got into a poly situation with s mixed group . My outlet is a mixed group male and female
Uh will you elaborate about this in the sex section? From a nuts and bolts perspective I am fascinated by how these relationships work. I know 2 different unions of 3. Sorry not totally educated on wording. Do you get any emotional support from the 8 or just sex?
I am sad your marriage is sexless but this is a great place for support.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 12, 2023 6:47:18 GMT -5
... Strangely I got into a poly situation with s mixed group . My outlet is a mixed group male and female Uh will you elaborate about this in the sex section? From a nuts and bolts perspective I am fascinated by how these relationships work. I know 2 different unions of 3. Sorry not totally educated on wording. Do you get any emotional support from the 8 or just sex?... I made a list of podcasts about polyamory here: iliasm.org/post/129671/threadThey are in the second table below the podcasts about sexless marriage. The podcasts are listed, roughly, in order of recommendation. |
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Post by casual777 on Feb 3, 2023 18:22:09 GMT -5
It’s a confusing situation . My wife got a new job and started 2023 full of joy. We had sex twice and I was ready to pull the plug on outsourcing . But like so many times before it’s the hope that kills. I can see all the long-standing tell tale signs coming back . There is a poly group meet on the 16th of feb and I am a bit torn . I ll probably attend as hell for me would be to cut my ties with outsourcing and be sitting at home full of tension and waiting for crumbs of attention .
The poly group I met on a swinging site . A few women and men hire an interconnecting hotel room and have sex . I am away with work a bit so don’t raise suspicion . I use condoms and tests are always negative
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Post by mirrororchid on Feb 7, 2023 16:46:46 GMT -5
It’s a confusing situation . My wife got a new job and started 2023 full of joy. We had sex twice and I was ready to pull the plug on outsourcing . But like so many times before it’s the hope that kills. I can see all the long-standing tell tale signs coming back . There is a poly group meet on the 16th of Feb. and I am a bit torn . I ll probably attend as hell for me would be to cut my ties with outsourcing and be sitting at home full of tension and waiting for crumbs of attention . The poly group I met on a swinging site . A few women and men hire an interconnecting hotel room and have sex . I am away with work a bit so don’t raise suspicion . I use condoms and tests are always negative Poly groups sometimes meet non-sexually. They share meals at restaurants not uncommonly called "Munch"es. Maybe you've bene to one already. It could be a way to stay a familiar face but give the Mrs. a chance to stay in the wife role, if she likes. |
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Post by casual777 on Jul 9, 2023 6:46:07 GMT -5
So having finally plummeted to 9 ‘episodes’ in all of 2022, it’s taken us just over 6 months to get to 10 in 2023. Considering no longer outsourcing now that the passion is more regular in this marriage
It might also be a dead cat bounce , not sure yet
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 10, 2023 5:35:41 GMT -5
Glad for ya.
What's her attitude?
Grudging, or agreeable?
Initiates? Or accepting?
Those may give hints of a Schrodinger prognosis.
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Post by blunder8 on Jul 11, 2023 13:28:45 GMT -5
So having finally plummeted to 9 ‘episodes’ in all of 2022, it’s taken us just over 6 months to get to 10 in 2023. Considering no longer outsourcing now that the passion is more regular in this marriage It might also be a dead cat bounce , not sure yet That's great to hear. Here's hoping it's permanent momentum. I'm in a similar recovery and still strike out on occasion (to use a baseball analogy). Each rejection I still have a little bit of "here we go again" flashback. (My situation is however much better; I'm at 14 for the year to date). Do you also have the psychological panic when you get turned down? |
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Post by casual777 on Jul 18, 2023 1:10:04 GMT -5
She is accepting of more of my advances . Never initiates. The big plus this year is a less irritable mood overall and more consistency . We went 3 months without last year and that doesn’t look like happening this year because the atmosphere is pleasant
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Update
Jul 18, 2023 6:13:49 GMT -5
Post by mirrororchid on Jul 18, 2023 6:13:49 GMT -5
Okay, c777.
If you figure out what some of the secret sauce is, I hope you'll share.
It sounds like your marriage may be in recovery despite her not knowing about your outsourcing, or pretending it didn't exist for a lengthy period.
No threat of divorce.
Yours will be the first recovery I've heard of with no ultimatum having been presented.
You may be a four-leaf leprecorn.
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