Common phrases at couples counseling
Sept 3, 2022 17:29:04 GMT -5
h, mirrororchid, and 1 more like this
Post by greatcoastal on Sept 3, 2022 17:29:04 GMT -5
medium.com/@drpsychmom/inside-the-first-couples-counseling-session-translations-of-common-phrases-4466ac5f5971
Inside the First Couples Counseling Session, Translations of Common Phrases
As a couples therapist, I am privy to the kinds of conversations and relationship defining moments that laypeople have to turn on reality TV to witness. Most couples are nervous during their first sessions and it may be hard to draw them out about how they really feel about the relationship. (Hint: if you’re in my office, you’re not thrilled.) This post can give you a window into what people say in their initial intake sessions and what they really mean.
1- Our sex life is fine.
Translation: Our sex life is terrible.
2- I really respect him as a father.
Translation: The one thing I can’t complain about is he usually remembers to pick the kids up at daycare.
3- She really puts the kids first.
Translation: If I had just suffered a massive stroke, she would step over my unconscious body to keep bedtime on schedule.
4- Sure, we could improve our communication.
Translation: I keep forgetting why she said we’re here. If she just stopped complaining we would be fine.
5- There are some issues with his parents.
Translation: I get a nervous twitch before any major holiday that could require seeing my in-laws. During their visits I require sedation.
6- I’m still attracted to him.
Translation: If he had a personality transplant I could conceive of having sex with him again.
7- He doesn’t make me feel special.
Translation: on Mother’s Day he got me a card, and by “he” I mean the kids brought one home from school. It is unclear whether he noticed that I lost 20 pounds. I am considering lighting myself on fire to see whether he notices and/or extinguishes me. Possibly if I was in front of the television.
8- She doesn’t appreciate me.
Translation: If I didn’t provide a paycheck and some childcare I believe she would have already started sleeping with the contractor redoing our kitchen. That guy gets way more compliments than I do.
9- He doesn’t listen to me.
Translation: People need more than a three second conversation in between checking email and watching TV. Even the goddamn contractor listens to me more than he does. And he’s cute.
10- I am the only one trying here.
Translation: Right now my deepest wish is that you take an hour or so to explain to my spouse why they are dead wrong. You and I will shake our heads and give each other sidelong glances when my spouse is being particularly ridiculous. After the first few sessions, my spouse will have an epiphany about how crappy s/he has acted, applauded by both myself and you, the therapist. Champagne will be uncorked and my deepest needs and desires will be met in my marriage thereafter.
Inside the First Couples Counseling Session, Translations of Common Phrases
As a couples therapist, I am privy to the kinds of conversations and relationship defining moments that laypeople have to turn on reality TV to witness. Most couples are nervous during their first sessions and it may be hard to draw them out about how they really feel about the relationship. (Hint: if you’re in my office, you’re not thrilled.) This post can give you a window into what people say in their initial intake sessions and what they really mean.
1- Our sex life is fine.
Translation: Our sex life is terrible.
2- I really respect him as a father.
Translation: The one thing I can’t complain about is he usually remembers to pick the kids up at daycare.
3- She really puts the kids first.
Translation: If I had just suffered a massive stroke, she would step over my unconscious body to keep bedtime on schedule.
4- Sure, we could improve our communication.
Translation: I keep forgetting why she said we’re here. If she just stopped complaining we would be fine.
5- There are some issues with his parents.
Translation: I get a nervous twitch before any major holiday that could require seeing my in-laws. During their visits I require sedation.
6- I’m still attracted to him.
Translation: If he had a personality transplant I could conceive of having sex with him again.
7- He doesn’t make me feel special.
Translation: on Mother’s Day he got me a card, and by “he” I mean the kids brought one home from school. It is unclear whether he noticed that I lost 20 pounds. I am considering lighting myself on fire to see whether he notices and/or extinguishes me. Possibly if I was in front of the television.
8- She doesn’t appreciate me.
Translation: If I didn’t provide a paycheck and some childcare I believe she would have already started sleeping with the contractor redoing our kitchen. That guy gets way more compliments than I do.
9- He doesn’t listen to me.
Translation: People need more than a three second conversation in between checking email and watching TV. Even the goddamn contractor listens to me more than he does. And he’s cute.
10- I am the only one trying here.
Translation: Right now my deepest wish is that you take an hour or so to explain to my spouse why they are dead wrong. You and I will shake our heads and give each other sidelong glances when my spouse is being particularly ridiculous. After the first few sessions, my spouse will have an epiphany about how crappy s/he has acted, applauded by both myself and you, the therapist. Champagne will be uncorked and my deepest needs and desires will be met in my marriage thereafter.
