|
|
Post by catlover on Dec 22, 2021 14:40:20 GMT -5
Well I think the title says it all. Nothing even remotely promising on the horizon. Resentment is building again. Damn, I know she is sick (how can I forget when I am faced with this every day) but a little something would be lovely
|
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Dec 22, 2021 20:53:34 GMT -5
Catlover, most people focus on the sickness part and magically expect a mental shift to no sex, no money, love forever without getting anything back, is OK if you truly loved someone. The problem is that might sound OK on paper but people do not work that way in real life.
Real life requires input and resources from external sources and a way to manage those external resources for the good of several people.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Dec 22, 2021 22:08:20 GMT -5
I think that in an ILIASM scenario there is actually LESS chance of a root transpiring on Xmas than there is on 364 other days. Apart from the fact that your spouse has no desire to root you on an ordinary day, the added stress of Xmas both in the lead up and actual event don't do anything to advance a sexual agenda. You probably won't be getting a root at Xmas Brother catlover .... and that would be the case for any other ILIASM scenario too. For that matter, it would probably be applicable in most "normal" marriages. So you're not on your own in this. |
|
|
|
Post by mirrororchid on Dec 23, 2021 7:10:05 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Dec 23, 2021 12:43:10 GMT -5
I had my 1st sex (a blowjob), (if you don't count when I was 5), when I was 19.And now I am 73. I cannot remember a single time I had sex on Christmas eve or day.
|
|
|
|
Post by heelots on Dec 23, 2021 18:05:00 GMT -5
On Christmas? or any other holiday?, or for that matter any other day of the year? Are you kidding? LOL.....
It is just so much easier when you stop looking at them as a spouse and look at them as a room mate and nothing more.
Do that and in time your level of frustration will decrease substantially. Mentally you have to give up all hope of anything sexual with them. If you are staying it will blow a massive hole in your marriage. In fact, it kills the marriage and you are left with a roommate like I have.
Sex during any holiday, now there is a laugh...,.
|
|
lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92 
Age Range: 51-55
|
Post by lanie on Dec 24, 2021 1:46:24 GMT -5
Well, at least I’m not the only one. Not getting my hopes up, but keeping my fingers crossed.
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Dec 24, 2021 11:18:52 GMT -5
FYI:Even in normal relationships, it's normal not to have sex on Xmas. I'm out of my SM and have been in a normal relationship for 8 years, and I'll be surprised if we have sex on Xmas. Why? It's a very busy day and we'll probably be too tired. So, if you are in a SM, all you are doing is fueling your resentment if you expect to have sex on Xmas.
|
|
|
|
Post by deadzone75 on Dec 24, 2021 20:31:22 GMT -5
FYI:Even in normal relationships, it's normal not to have sex on Xmas. I'm out of my SM and have been in a normal relationship for 8 years, and I'll be surprised if we have sex on Xmas. Why? It's a very busy day and we'll probably be too tired. So, if you are in a SM, all you are doing is fueling your resentment if you expect to have sex on Xmas. Truth. The last time I got laid on Christmas was 1995. What a great Christmas...got laid, then watched my football team kick ass. That's all I need for Christmas. |
|
|
|
Post by Lanie it’s me on Dec 26, 2021 12:00:59 GMT -5
Yep, me too. I hadn’t gotten my hopes up, so no ( yeah, right!) disappointment there. I did however get a nice morning cuddle a couple of sensual caresses and a brief mouth to breast encounter. I imagine this was done to appease the counselor and I , with my lowered expectations expected less than that so win/win?
I don’t even know anymore at this stage!
|
|
|
|
Post by catlover on Dec 26, 2021 14:17:28 GMT -5
FYI:Even in normal relationships, it's normal not to have sex on Xmas. I'm out of my SM and have been in a normal relationship for 8 years, and I'll be surprised if we have sex on Xmas. Why? It's a very busy day and we'll probably be too tired. So, if you are in a SM, all you are doing is fueling your resentment if you expect to have sex on Xmas. Nope, not expecting anything, be gobsmacked if something did happen. As it was, got a cuddle, initiated by me as usual, and that was about it. It would have been wonderful if something did happen though. Fucking hate Christmas anyway. Resentment? Yes, fuelled by this shitty disease she has and my dumb brain that keeps on hoping for a turnaround of some sorts, even though i know its not going to happen. Everyday these days seems to be a rollercoaster of emotions, having severe depression doesn't help much either. Haven't even been able to visist my regulkar lady friend for a month and counting (22 Nov to be exact) I Sometimes feel, "whats the point", it seems like I am going to carry on this way to the end of my days on this mortal coil. That thought doesn't exactly fill me with joy. I know, I have to change things in my life. Edit: Have to add, it has always been a desire of mine to literally start the New year with a bang, i.e. to be balls deep as the clock strikes midnight. Yet another fruitless hope to add to the list |
|
|
|
Post by mirrororchid on Dec 27, 2021 6:43:29 GMT -5
Everyday these days seems to be a rollercoaster of emotions, having severe depression doesn't help much either. Haven't even been able to visit my regular lady friend for a month and counting ... Your "regular lady" seems to have become irregular. Maybe you need to fire up a third relationship? |
|
|
|
Post by catlover on Dec 27, 2021 12:55:02 GMT -5
Everyday these days seems to be a rollercoaster of emotions, having severe depression doesn't help much either. Haven't even been able to visit my regular lady friend for a month and counting ... Your "regular lady" seems to have become irregular. Maybe you need to fire up a third relationship? The regular lady becoming irregular is entirely my fault (sort of), moved to a new home a couple months ago (downsized to a new bungalow, everything on one level, basement is MINE (for the time being anyway) for my air rifle shooting range 😀), still sorting shit out. I have been very unmotivated to do things too, thanks depression, and then there is COVID-19, especially of late, don’t really want to bring that home to an already ill person. Then I also have various meds that seem to all be conspiring to take the lead out of my pencil (anti depressants, meds for bph and urinary function, which also are causing a bit of a reluctance I suppose to try and kperform’) |
|
|
|
Post by h on Jan 3, 2022 14:34:51 GMT -5
We had sex on Christmas morning which was a total surprise. It wasn't very enjoyable for me though. It was rushed because we had to leave the house early to make it to all the places we had to go. She initiated, but didn't touch me very much at all so she finished, but I didn't. We had to quit so we had time to get cleaned up before leaving. I ended up taking care of myself in our bathroom later in the day between outings. By the time we got home, it was too late to do anything and she hasn't brought it up since. That was the last time for 2021.
We had sex on more holidays than any other year in the history of our marriage but had sex fewer total times than any other year (7). I don't bother holding onto hope that it will get better.
|
|
