Post by heelots on Oct 6, 2021 15:18:34 GMT -5
I guess I should share it since I keep hanging around and posting. I married late at 36. I had 6 prior sex partners, a few girlfriend's and a few just adventurous flings, but all quite positive. No wives or kids left behind, and luckily no diseases from my adventures. I met my wife at church, she was 29 with 5 to girl that I later adopted.
Both of us were of modest means so dating consisted of movies, bowling, zoo, eating at family restaurants or fast food, child always in tow. I never had a problem with this, we had no extra $ for child care nor folks to leave her with so literally all of our dating was the same as what a married couple with child in tow would do. I was no kid, and had no problem with our courtship, finances sort of dictated how things went.
To me, bonding with the child was as important as bonding with mom if I intended marriage and if that had not happened, I would not have married my wife. Obviously it did happen and we married.
During that roughly year courtship I have mentioned in other posts that wife said from the start no sex prior to marriage.
I have a huge oral thing and was able to easily and quickly persuade wife into letting me get my oral fix daily after daughter was in bed, usually delivering a number of very satisfactory O to her every evening.
During this time then GF never offered reciprocation of the favor so I did suggest several times, but not in an overly demanding way. Then GF countered with an offer to jerk me which I declined. I never reached O by a partner doing that and several tried, just did nothing for me.
So this is how things went for most of our year of dating. I had grown concerned as time went by because then GF never seemed to have problems restraining herself from having sex. To me, most normal women with a sex drive at some point would be having a tough time with just oral, my lady was not even showing a desire to have her hands on my dick at all, just a lot of kissing and that was it. She was clearly turned on and stopping wet during our sessions and no way was faking her orgasms. But that was it. Anyway, I finally shared with her that I was concerned that our sex drives were in no way in sync.
I told then Gf that when we entered marriage I had a high sex drive and I hoped she could match my drive. I told then GF that I did not want to be 5-10 years into a marriage with a wife that was not into sex and the marriage was essentially in name only. Wife assured me that was not the case and I would not be disappointed.
So, we got married, the honeymoon was nothing particularly noteworthy. We had sex I think at least once a day most days, and I might have squeezed both am & pm sex out of her most days, though that might be a bit generous. I know it was nothing over the moon, nor any sessions of great length, less than an hr each I imagine.
It did give an insight into where things would head. What I found in the weeks and months that followed was my now wife would to her credit, rarely deny me. That said, it was easy to see that from the start this appeared to be more obligatory and " duty to perform when asked" than actually something she looked forward to. Oddly, W was the most easy woman to bring to O of any I was ever with and literally every session would result in her totally spent, sweaty, and multipliple orgasms that drenched us both.
Only on rare occasions did she ever fuck me back, though her pleasure from my efforts was always audible and body response as in trembling, quivering etc seemingly normal. Rarely, but always appreciated were the times she would wrap her legs around me while effing her missionary. Only about a half dozen times in 23 years of marriage during sex did wife become so aroused as to give me head unasked during a session which never went without great praise, thanks and gratitude for her taking that initiative and asking her to please repeat that in the future which only very rarely happened.
In spite of her expressed enjoyment with our sex, my W never wanted to have in depth discussion of likes and desires, any fantasies, kinks, or anything specific related to sex. W has always been way too petite to discuss anything sexual. To her credit, the only thing she ever outright refused me was anal. I had zero interest in fisting, and 3 sums or stuff like that would have totally flipped her out. Positions 69, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl etc, never denied. But wife was just not one to initiate. W was and will always be 100% sub.
For many, that would be heaven, for me it is not. I want a W that likes it when I slide up behind her as she is working at the kitchen sink and I slip my arms around her and run a hand up under her top, or one into her panties. I learned early that would really piss her off. W doesn't like me grabbing her ass or doing playfully stuff like that and W never, ever suggested or initiated sex. I begged her to at least initiate occasionally.
For me, I needed the reassurance that W was simply not answering the call of duty. Through the years, frequency got much less. She seemed more tired of it all. I grew less secure in the idea that she even wanted sex with me, or anyone else for that matter.
W is just not a sexual being, the only sexy lingerie she ever owned I bought her, then handed her a VS card and told her to always keep a $100 list of charges on the card at all times to keep her in sexy undies. Not once did she ever again buy anything sexy from VS. She would buy the most boring boulder holders she could find and that was it!
Porn was not part of our marriage initially, but as time went by and I could tell she was just not interested, I turned to it more and more for release as the years went by. I recall once suggesting getting some vibrators and W was appalled, told me if I did I could use them on myself but don't come after her with them! I seriously doubt W masturbates, if she does, the only time I could imagine that happening would be in the shower, but wife swore she never did that early on and considered it dirty. I believed her too because she is quite uptight.
Wife does not have the morals to cheat or the time in any given day. You would just have to know her, it is not in her. I literally think she is just not into sex with anyone. I just got tired of being in the thing alone and vowed to myself to never ask for it again knowing if I did not ask, that she would not. That was a few years back, but I dont keep track, I just gave up.
That is where we are today, I would not call it a warm, caring and loving marriage. We argue a lot, never lay a finger on each other, and if I dropped dead tomorrow I doubt she would shed a tear, just like her mother did when her dad died!
I can't afford to divorce, so as I commonly say, I will never take my own life, but pray daily for God to strike me dead in my tracks!
Signed: Dead man Walkin
Both of us were of modest means so dating consisted of movies, bowling, zoo, eating at family restaurants or fast food, child always in tow. I never had a problem with this, we had no extra $ for child care nor folks to leave her with so literally all of our dating was the same as what a married couple with child in tow would do. I was no kid, and had no problem with our courtship, finances sort of dictated how things went.
To me, bonding with the child was as important as bonding with mom if I intended marriage and if that had not happened, I would not have married my wife. Obviously it did happen and we married.
During that roughly year courtship I have mentioned in other posts that wife said from the start no sex prior to marriage.
I have a huge oral thing and was able to easily and quickly persuade wife into letting me get my oral fix daily after daughter was in bed, usually delivering a number of very satisfactory O to her every evening.
During this time then GF never offered reciprocation of the favor so I did suggest several times, but not in an overly demanding way. Then GF countered with an offer to jerk me which I declined. I never reached O by a partner doing that and several tried, just did nothing for me.
So this is how things went for most of our year of dating. I had grown concerned as time went by because then GF never seemed to have problems restraining herself from having sex. To me, most normal women with a sex drive at some point would be having a tough time with just oral, my lady was not even showing a desire to have her hands on my dick at all, just a lot of kissing and that was it. She was clearly turned on and stopping wet during our sessions and no way was faking her orgasms. But that was it. Anyway, I finally shared with her that I was concerned that our sex drives were in no way in sync.
I told then Gf that when we entered marriage I had a high sex drive and I hoped she could match my drive. I told then GF that I did not want to be 5-10 years into a marriage with a wife that was not into sex and the marriage was essentially in name only. Wife assured me that was not the case and I would not be disappointed.
So, we got married, the honeymoon was nothing particularly noteworthy. We had sex I think at least once a day most days, and I might have squeezed both am & pm sex out of her most days, though that might be a bit generous. I know it was nothing over the moon, nor any sessions of great length, less than an hr each I imagine.
It did give an insight into where things would head. What I found in the weeks and months that followed was my now wife would to her credit, rarely deny me. That said, it was easy to see that from the start this appeared to be more obligatory and " duty to perform when asked" than actually something she looked forward to. Oddly, W was the most easy woman to bring to O of any I was ever with and literally every session would result in her totally spent, sweaty, and multipliple orgasms that drenched us both.
Only on rare occasions did she ever fuck me back, though her pleasure from my efforts was always audible and body response as in trembling, quivering etc seemingly normal. Rarely, but always appreciated were the times she would wrap her legs around me while effing her missionary. Only about a half dozen times in 23 years of marriage during sex did wife become so aroused as to give me head unasked during a session which never went without great praise, thanks and gratitude for her taking that initiative and asking her to please repeat that in the future which only very rarely happened.
In spite of her expressed enjoyment with our sex, my W never wanted to have in depth discussion of likes and desires, any fantasies, kinks, or anything specific related to sex. W has always been way too petite to discuss anything sexual. To her credit, the only thing she ever outright refused me was anal. I had zero interest in fisting, and 3 sums or stuff like that would have totally flipped her out. Positions 69, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl etc, never denied. But wife was just not one to initiate. W was and will always be 100% sub.
For many, that would be heaven, for me it is not. I want a W that likes it when I slide up behind her as she is working at the kitchen sink and I slip my arms around her and run a hand up under her top, or one into her panties. I learned early that would really piss her off. W doesn't like me grabbing her ass or doing playfully stuff like that and W never, ever suggested or initiated sex. I begged her to at least initiate occasionally.
For me, I needed the reassurance that W was simply not answering the call of duty. Through the years, frequency got much less. She seemed more tired of it all. I grew less secure in the idea that she even wanted sex with me, or anyone else for that matter.
W is just not a sexual being, the only sexy lingerie she ever owned I bought her, then handed her a VS card and told her to always keep a $100 list of charges on the card at all times to keep her in sexy undies. Not once did she ever again buy anything sexy from VS. She would buy the most boring boulder holders she could find and that was it!
Porn was not part of our marriage initially, but as time went by and I could tell she was just not interested, I turned to it more and more for release as the years went by. I recall once suggesting getting some vibrators and W was appalled, told me if I did I could use them on myself but don't come after her with them! I seriously doubt W masturbates, if she does, the only time I could imagine that happening would be in the shower, but wife swore she never did that early on and considered it dirty. I believed her too because she is quite uptight.
Wife does not have the morals to cheat or the time in any given day. You would just have to know her, it is not in her. I literally think she is just not into sex with anyone. I just got tired of being in the thing alone and vowed to myself to never ask for it again knowing if I did not ask, that she would not. That was a few years back, but I dont keep track, I just gave up.
That is where we are today, I would not call it a warm, caring and loving marriage. We argue a lot, never lay a finger on each other, and if I dropped dead tomorrow I doubt she would shed a tear, just like her mother did when her dad died!
I can't afford to divorce, so as I commonly say, I will never take my own life, but pray daily for God to strike me dead in my tracks!
Signed: Dead man Walkin