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Weekends
Sept 26, 2021 18:33:42 GMT -5
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Handy likes this
Post by jim44444 on Sept 26, 2021 18:33:42 GMT -5
As evening brings the weekend to a close I reflect upon what is and ponder on what could have been. I find myself shying away from things that I consider romantic. I rationalize this with "why bother, rejection is all I will reap'. I maintain a civility, the same as I would for any friend or guest. But I light no flames because all I can see are the dead ashes of prior conflagration.
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 27, 2021 5:10:32 GMT -5
As evening brings the weekend to a close I reflect upon what is and ponder on what could have been. I find myself shying away from things that I consider romantic. I rationalize this with "why bother, rejection is all I will reap'. I maintain a civility, the same as I would for any friend or guest. But I light no flames because all I can see are the dead ashes of prior conflagration. What know what you didn't do this weekend. What did you do? I see Handy 'liked' your post. He's the zen master of SM. 'Yeah, it's sexless. And?' Are you sliding into that oneness; channeling Siddhartha to contemplate "All desire is suffering"? Handy seems good with it. It baffles me (and scares me a little. Mad props, Handy.) |
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Post by Handy on Sept 27, 2021 14:11:41 GMT -5
Mirrororchid
I see Handy 'liked' your post.
He's the zen master of SM. 'Yeah, it's sexless. And?'
Are you sliding into that oneness; channeling Siddhartha to contemplate "All desire is suffering"?
Handy seems good with it. It baffles me (and scares me a little. Mad props, Handy.)
I have some personal and medical challenges that keep me occupied right now that are more important than a sexual relationship. MRI, CT scans and a list of medical appoints has kept me busy and less interested in things of a sexual nature. Right now some good friendships and my personal motivations are keeping me going. If i found something extra, that would be great but I deal with what is more than what might happen.
I gave up wishing things were better with my marriage so that is one less thing to work on or work towards. Other women my age seem to want to be single so I do not put much energy in any women I know. I am open to more friends so something might happen in that area but I am not counting or banking on any sure things. It will be what it will be.
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 27, 2021 20:10:18 GMT -5
Are you sliding into that oneness; channeling Siddhartha to contemplate "All desire is suffering"? Handy seems good with it. It baffles me (and scares me a little. Mad props, Handy.) I will need to Google this Siddhartha person but I agree with the quote. If desire is the longing for something not yet obtained then yes it is suffering albeit on a spectrum from mild to consuming. It could even be pleasant such as suffering the arousing anticipation of an imminent meeting with one's lover. You asked what did I do? I did things for me. Texting with a dear friend. 40 miles of bike riding. Working in the garden. Things that bring me joy. |
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