Post by solitarysoul on Oct 6, 2021 7:01:32 GMT -5
I have little doubt that my W suffers from some level of depression... whether its about her family, her job, etc... but reaching out for help is not something she does. Instead she expects everyone around her to do what she wants to make her happy... In this case, it means move to Florida. Where she has always wanted to live.
theexplorer, funny you should should mention moving, or working out of the area. She wants NOTHING more right now than to move from NY to Florida... apparently that will solve all of her problems! I know it will not. It just forces me to give up my job and all i have built here that i cant or will not have easily there. We have no family or friends here any more so it makes it harder to defend being here. But i cannot move right now for a number of reasons. Also, my career is one built on relationships, experience, and contacts. I have spent 25 years building that here, to go somewhere else would be throwing a lot of it away and also seriously hurt my income stream. But she expects it because it will meet HER needs. Screw mine.
You mention friends... outside of work, i have none. I do have one closer friend in the office who i can talk to... and that does feel good. My W has a couple she might see outside of work, but other than that we are alone. The holidays are just us sitting at a table. That would depress anyone, let alone someone in a marriage like ours... and this got worse with COVID. I cannot openly travel so she does... on her own.
I totally agree on the sleep thing... i have had so many things stressing me lately... my sleep has really suffered... and i havent felt well in a few months. Trying to get more sleep as my nights have been restless and full of bad dreams. At least the last 2 nights have been better.. if only i didnt have to get up to go to work....
I have totally forgotten what that magical feeling of love is like.. and that alone is a devastating thought.. its been gone for so many years. I do remember that i was such a happy feeling. Sucks not having it.
Re-reading what i just wrote is depressing in itself... i guess that is why i have a therapist... besides, thats the only time i hear something good about myself.
theexplorer, funny you should should mention moving, or working out of the area. She wants NOTHING more right now than to move from NY to Florida... apparently that will solve all of her problems! I know it will not. It just forces me to give up my job and all i have built here that i cant or will not have easily there. We have no family or friends here any more so it makes it harder to defend being here. But i cannot move right now for a number of reasons. Also, my career is one built on relationships, experience, and contacts. I have spent 25 years building that here, to go somewhere else would be throwing a lot of it away and also seriously hurt my income stream. But she expects it because it will meet HER needs. Screw mine.
You mention friends... outside of work, i have none. I do have one closer friend in the office who i can talk to... and that does feel good. My W has a couple she might see outside of work, but other than that we are alone. The holidays are just us sitting at a table. That would depress anyone, let alone someone in a marriage like ours... and this got worse with COVID. I cannot openly travel so she does... on her own.
I totally agree on the sleep thing... i have had so many things stressing me lately... my sleep has really suffered... and i havent felt well in a few months. Trying to get more sleep as my nights have been restless and full of bad dreams. At least the last 2 nights have been better.. if only i didnt have to get up to go to work....
I have totally forgotten what that magical feeling of love is like.. and that alone is a devastating thought.. its been gone for so many years. I do remember that i was such a happy feeling. Sucks not having it.
Re-reading what i just wrote is depressing in itself... i guess that is why i have a therapist... besides, thats the only time i hear something good about myself.
