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Post by ilovecolors on Sept 14, 2021 4:17:01 GMT -5
I'm rated to be way below a 0 on the beauty scale physically or rated to be a 1 on the beauty scale physically but not a solid one.
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 14, 2021 6:46:37 GMT -5
I'm rated to be way below a 0 on the beauty scale physically or rated to be a 1 on the beauty scale physically but not a solid one. Rated by who? And who was so kind as to say so? Sheesh. I see you just registered today. Welcome, ilovecolors. I sometimes ponder posting my photo to figure out just where on a scale I lie. I found these guides when hotornot.com was found to have been bought by a Russian site squatter farm. I didn't make the graphics, the conspicuous absence of minorities is noted, but I'm not in a position of spare time to make my own. Also aware that societal contemporary fashion dictates much of the rating system (Rubenesque figures were once at the top of the heap, after all.) Some unusual facial features aren't difficult to look past with extended familiarity. Good personalities can shade one's glasses quite rosy. All shallowness aside, if you're going to rate yourself, I figure some objectivity in people's subjectivity might be of some use? A 1? You? Maybe. But do you see yourself somewhere in these collages? Not to say that's what should be important. Remarkable focus on teeth. Hm.
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 14, 2021 17:58:25 GMT -5
A friend of mine shot the bottom of his face off in a suicide attempt. He is missing his jaw and nose and now is legally blind. Has to eat by pouring liquids down a hole in his neck. He became very involved in community theater as the sound designer. There he met a woman (who happens to be a parapalegic in a scooter) director. They spent lots of time together enjoying, especially each other's sense of humor. They are now happily married. She -- who is probably a 5 or 6 on the scale you posted while his looks are worse than the ones you posted -- happily posts pictures of her and her beau. She is bisexual and I'm pretty sure they have a sex life.
Looks are not everything. Personality, interests, grooming ( a stinky 10 wouldn't be attractive to most people) are important.
Do the best you can with your looks and grooming. Get active with outside activities that interest you. Many people with subpar looks have love and sex. I know couples one of whom I think is very ugly, who look at each other with love and are happy together. I know men and women who find people I consider ugly to be sexy and attractive. One of my best lovers was a guy whom I considered ugly. But, damn, he had sexual confidence and was wonderful in bed.
BTW, I saw people in the pictures you posted who were rated 2, 3, 4, but I found them very appealing.
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Post by baza on Sept 16, 2021 2:26:34 GMT -5
There are numerous industries that have a vested interest promoting some "ideal" of beauty.
So the bar is set super high so that 99% of people cannot achieve this lofty standard.
But, the illusion is promoted that if you buy this hair product, procure this makers clothes, obtain these skin products, consult this cosmetic surgeon, go on this diet, etc etc etc then you might aspire to be one of the beautiful people.
It's all complete bullshit.
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Post by ilovecolors on Sept 16, 2021 15:39:24 GMT -5
There are numerous industries that have a vested interest promoting some "ideal" of beauty. So the bar is set super high so that 99% of people cannot achieve this lofty standard. But, the illusion is promoted that if you buy this hair product, procure this makers clothes, obtain these skin products, consult this cosmetic surgeon, go on this diet, etc etc etc then you might aspire to be one of the beautiful people. It's all complete bullshit. This is not just about looks this about me being frustrated that I might not have a boyfriend befriend because of my lookd. |
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 16, 2021 16:33:47 GMT -5
"This is not just about looks this about me being frustrated that I might not have a boyfriend befriend because of my looks."
If you really feel that bad about your looks, then do what you can to be better looking. Still, I've known many homely people --men and women -- who have romantic partners and sex. What one person may find unappealing in the looks department may be very appealing to others. My own way of doing things is to try to keep up my looks but, most importantly, do things that make me an interesting and appealing person to myself.
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 16, 2021 17:27:44 GMT -5
From a male and a member perspective on your story.... You don't tell us anything about your physical appearance really, just that you are a 1 or less. Are you too short, too tall for most men? Are you significantly over or under weight? Are you cross eyed or buck toothed? Why do you see your self as so unattractive?
I have dated and made love with women from most of the looks categories shown above. Both my wives were probably closer to 7 than to 9 or 10. And the wives of my friends from high school were again generally in the 6 or 7 range. But they all had fun and outgoing personalities, which was as important to me as their looks. When I make love with a woman I am not mentally locked on to what her head looks like, I am making love to her whole body, from the tip of her toes to the top of her head.
It's the chemistry, the affinity we find in each other, the fun, the unfolding of the mystery of who she is and what makes her the person she is that I find attractive about a woman when I am courting her as a mate.
If you are serious and you really fall well outside the "attractive" perimeters society has laid out then you need to seriously do an evaluation of yourself and be proactive about helping yourself put your best foot forward. Perhaps you could see a makeup artist who could do a makeover and wardrobe change to bring out those physical features that are more attractive. If you are self conscience about doing it in public ask her to see you after work for a private consultation. Pros can do a lot
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 16, 2021 18:48:46 GMT -5
There are numerous industries that have a vested interest promoting some "ideal" of beauty. So the bar is set super high so that 99% of people cannot achieve this lofty standard. But, the illusion is promoted that if you buy this hair product, procure this makers clothes, obtain these skin products, consult this cosmetic surgeon, go on this diet, etc etc etc then you might aspire to be one of the beautiful people. It's all complete bullshit. This is not just about looks this about me being frustrated that I might not have a boyfriend befriend because of my looks. It's really hard to compare to pictures, but as best as I can figure it: I dated a 6 in college. Was engaged to an 8 after that. Mrs. MirrorOrchid is a 3 (by these subjective criteria) and we've clocked in at nearly 27 years. A 2 from this selection is not out of the question. 1s? Sorry, yeah. Maybe I'm that shallow. How low are you willing to go. If a fella in the 2 or 3 category asked you out, would you say Yes? |
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 16, 2021 19:18:40 GMT -5
The poor hygiene and cleanliness would turn me off from the 3s, 2,1 and even those in higher categories. I wouldn't want to date or be around someone who was smelly and dirty even if they were very attractive.
The problem with those who have horrible teeth at least in American culture would mean that they are flat broke as middle class people in the US get their teeth fixed even if they have to do it in adulthood. Having horrible teeth in the US is like announcing one is poor and uneducated and/or a drug addict or alcoholic. I don't mean people have to have perfect teeth but if they have major crookedness, missing teeth, cavities, bleeding gums when they eat, teeth that seem not to have been cleaned in years, I wouldn't want to be in a romance with them because i wouldn't want to get near their mouths.
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Post by jerri on Sept 17, 2021 2:22:15 GMT -5
Don't let others have the yardstick that measures your looks or worth.
I can get trapped in stinking thinking.
Why are you letting these thoughts live rent free in your head when by your standards it is going to be hard to fix?
It's okay to mourn the loss of beauty as I interpret it and focus on our personality/attitude and geek out on something and meet someone on your level. What's wrong with being a zero as you call yourself and finding someone who is witty, honest, humorous and fun?
There is someone for everyone and it is good news that you want a sex life/mate.
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Post by lessingham on Nov 6, 2022 6:00:08 GMT -5
I am ugly and I am old. I cannot alter this. But I can manage my hygeine and clothing. I can manage my weight and my fitness. I can have good manners. I can get a good haircut. These are down to me. Plus at my age most women are more attracted to my inflation proof pensions than looks!!!!
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Post by sweetplumeria on Dec 3, 2022 5:23:00 GMT -5
I am ugly and I am old. I cannot alter this. But I can manage my hygeine and clothing. I can manage my weight and my fitness. I can have good manners. I can get a good haircut. These are down to me. Plus at my age most women are more attracted to my inflation proof pensions than looks!!!! 3am... Maybe you just need a good night's rest??? |
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Post by clarkjobe on Apr 16, 2023 12:37:57 GMT -5
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" According to that list I should probably fall somewhere around 4-5, 6 if it's a special occasion. Internally I "feel" like a 2-3. Years of rejection and neuroticism take it's toll on a person.
What I'm getting at here is, yes, you can easily find yourself thinking you're "less attractive" than you really are.
"This is not just about looks this about me being frustrated that I might not have a boyfriend befriend because of my lookd."
Judging by this here you recognize this too, at least to some degree. Sounds like a bit of a vicious cycle where you're letting your social situation affect your self image, which in turn affects your ability to interact with other people, which affects your social situation. Somewhere in there the cycle needs to be broken. Whether that's getting lucky and someone breaks it for you, or, you go out of your way to change the way you think. Both are very difficult things to accomplish since one is based on luck and the other may well be something rooted deep in your psyche. I know nothing about you and your situation. I'm going to assume you're a woman because of the reference to a lacking boyfriend but I could be wrong, either way what I'm about to say may still be helpful.
There's a girl I used to work with that if someone were to try to describe her, she would not sound very attractive. Most people would probably describe her as short and obese with long dark hair and dark freckles. That's where most people would stop describing her. Nothing exceptional otherwise, no scars, no pocked face, no painful looking acne, etc.
Now, I would say that I'm someone who doesn't let weight be the determining factor in what I find attractive, but at the same time I will freely admit that an overweight girl has some work to do before I consider them outright attractive. No I don't mean losing the weight. I mean that there has to be something about her to make me look past that. That same girl also has an infectious smile, incredibly beautiful pale green eyes that show off how quick she is to smile. Personally I like freckles, and long hair. And even though she's overweight, she carries herself like a much smaller person. I think she's extremely attractive and even though according to that scale she would probably be a 4-5 like me, I would personally say she's a 7-8. A lot of that personal rating, is because of the attitude and personality that she puts out to the people around her. Without that, the freckles and hair alone would not be enough.
I myself am relatively new here and it sounds like you're in a different situation from a lot of us but we're here to help, we just might need more to go on. I see mirrororchid has already been in here (thanks for the good reference chart btw)
Remember, we're a bunch of anonymous letters on a screen, tell us why you're so hard on yourself and let us help.
*edit* just saw how old the post was, sometimes I forget to look at dates. Also I think I've messed up mirrororchid's name like 5 times now and you haven't corrected me, felling a little dumb now.
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