Post by tamara68 on Jun 4, 2016 4:36:47 GMT -5
One thing that has caused a lot of grief, sadness and anger in many years, is the loss of family relations thanks to my stbx.
My father is a difficult man to deal with, but not as difficult as my husband. My father is not very smart and is easily agressive. My mother's job was always trying to keep him calm.
12 years ago my parents were visiting us at Christmas. My father was being annoying (as usual) and he was mumbling about my husband, but very well audible.
My husband did his part of being annoying and at some moment said something insulting to my father. So they both got angry. And both of them were misinterpreting everything the other one said. My husband thought my father was going to use violence, I don't think he was going to do anything. but my mother and I didn't manage to solve it. My parents left and I knews that this would probably never get fixed again.
My husband didn't want to hear wat I thought because I didn't fully agree with his way of thinking. My parents have never visited us again, and my husband got mad every single time I tried to talk with him about it. He didn't want me to visit my parents either. I wish I had left him back than. I have visited my parents several times secretly. If I had told him I was going to visit my parents, he would have treated me as chemical waste after my return. Only in the past few years my husband could handle it to speak about my parents, but only because of my mother was nearly dying.
We have had some fights about this matter, and my husband ofcourse still holds on to his view that I could have solved it all if I had made my father offer his appologies. The fact that I didn't do that, makes me the one to blame it all - as usual.
My husband is very intelligent and my father is dumb. My father doesn't understand a thing about what happened. My husband should have made some efforts as the intelligent one. I felt guilty about my parents and my daughter not seeing each other again, and very very sad but I didn't feel able to solve it.
My husband also cut off contact with his own father and puts the blame on me too. And with his own mother he didn't have contact for years. I have remained contact with her for her sake and for my daughter. Only recently he started e-mailing with his mother (for a part complaining about me).
My father is a difficult man to deal with, but not as difficult as my husband. My father is not very smart and is easily agressive. My mother's job was always trying to keep him calm.
12 years ago my parents were visiting us at Christmas. My father was being annoying (as usual) and he was mumbling about my husband, but very well audible.
My husband did his part of being annoying and at some moment said something insulting to my father. So they both got angry. And both of them were misinterpreting everything the other one said. My husband thought my father was going to use violence, I don't think he was going to do anything. but my mother and I didn't manage to solve it. My parents left and I knews that this would probably never get fixed again.
My husband didn't want to hear wat I thought because I didn't fully agree with his way of thinking. My parents have never visited us again, and my husband got mad every single time I tried to talk with him about it. He didn't want me to visit my parents either. I wish I had left him back than. I have visited my parents several times secretly. If I had told him I was going to visit my parents, he would have treated me as chemical waste after my return. Only in the past few years my husband could handle it to speak about my parents, but only because of my mother was nearly dying.
We have had some fights about this matter, and my husband ofcourse still holds on to his view that I could have solved it all if I had made my father offer his appologies. The fact that I didn't do that, makes me the one to blame it all - as usual.
My husband is very intelligent and my father is dumb. My father doesn't understand a thing about what happened. My husband should have made some efforts as the intelligent one. I felt guilty about my parents and my daughter not seeing each other again, and very very sad but I didn't feel able to solve it.
My husband also cut off contact with his own father and puts the blame on me too. And with his own mother he didn't have contact for years. I have remained contact with her for her sake and for my daughter. Only recently he started e-mailing with his mother (for a part complaining about me).
