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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2016 9:05:40 GMT -5
Can't help but wonder why it has to be this way. There must be a reason it is so hard for me to get divorced? Oh boy, do I feel you! So many times I have thought the exact same thing over these last several months. Just yesterday, I had a huge setback in my move and I just kept thinking, "Why is this happening now?" It's hard not to get discouraged. You will figure this out - you know what has to happen and you will get there. I'm sorry it's taking so long and you're running into so many roadblocks. At some point, you'll be able to look back and be amazed at what you've accomplished. Keep venting - it makes it easier to get moving forward again (for me anyway!).
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Post by JMX on Mar 31, 2016 9:14:07 GMT -5
Can't help but wonder why it has to be this way. There must be a reason it is so hard for me to get divorced? Oh boy, do I feel you! So many times I have thought the exact same thing over these last several months. Just yesterday, I had a huge setback in my move and I just kept thinking, "Why is this happening now?" It's hard not to get discouraged. You will figure this out - you know what has to happen and you will get there. I'm sorry it's taking so long and you're running into so many roadblocks. At some point, you'll be able to look back and be amazed at what you've accomplished. Keep venting - it makes it easier to get moving forward again (for me anyway!). Thank you Mountainrunner!
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Post by wewbwb on Mar 31, 2016 9:28:58 GMT -5
It is funny how big the social taboo is against talking about sex. You can talk to somebody about your marriage falling apart, and splitting up all your assets (or liabilities) and your kids, and they can 'see' how much love there still is and think you should stay together, and somehow it is still impossible to say 'I am divorcing him because he refuses to fuck me.' I am sure millions of people stay miserable for years because they are not 'allowed' to talk about their sex lives or consider them to be important. What's funny is - I never have a problem saying this to anyone, much less a counselor and even in front of husband. I tell everyone. Should be interesting when we are both in the counselling session together. Of course, the real issue is lack of communication or care or understanding on his part - sex is just the symptom. I wonder if it is just the symptom. Speaking only for me - sex makes me feel safer and closer. It would help me "open" up more and be "closer" to my partner. I think that it goes hand in hand. - But I could be wrong.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2016 19:10:24 GMT -5
A song was once sang that said " I get knocked down but i get up again you aren't never going to keep me down". Tubthumping, by Chumbawamba.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2016 21:33:36 GMT -5
The condo my dad was going to buy, that was going to manageable for me on my own and the one I was going to have to move the H in for a period of time while we got out of debt fell through. The lender could not approve it because of an issue with the HOA that I did not foresee. Now, just not sure what I am going to do at all. Taking the week to figure out a fifth exit plan. Yes. 5th in 3 months. Can't help but wonder why it has to be this way. There must be a reason it is so hard for me to get divorced? Confused and discouraged. I'll get over it - just a vent. It's easy to get divorced. It's hard to get divorced without losing your shirt. So many factors beyond your control. But you're sticking with a plan. You have to keep rewriting it but you're staying the course.
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Post by JMX on Apr 1, 2016 11:57:38 GMT -5
Thank you Phin! Good to see you here!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2016 20:07:06 GMT -5
Unmatched - he does not have a strategy either. Right now, we have discussed staying in the house and I need to get a more stable job (mine is commission and everything I have touched lately has turned to shit). Once that is in place, we can make short work of it. But I still think he thinks our issues are money only. I think he thinks that when that is over we will get back together. I haven't said overtly "no" because I need him cheerfully on board while we work this out. We've already been to a financial planner and April beings therapy - for communication issues. I am not sure I want to go down any road in therapy that encourages us to stay together, so I am working through it to figure out how to play it. So many moving parts and then appendages getting stuck in said moving parts. I haven't done this much thinking EVER. JMX, you have to try to stay positive and open minded (not empty minded mind you!). The worst thing that can happen from going into the therapy with a positive attitude and an open mind is that you waste some money and divorce as soon as you can anyway. I'm not sure what the best thing could be, but a better thing might be that one or both of you actually realize some flaws and address them introspectively. If that happens, at least someone can have a chance at decent relationships in the future. If that's him, it will benefit you and your kids. I stopped arguing and belittling long ago to the best of my ability and discipline. And my discipline has improved immensely. Things have gotten better -- at least for me. Just understand that you really don't have any choices with most of this stuff. These are things you have to do. So make of them what you can. Life is SOOooo short.
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