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I walk the streets of our neighborhood at night and wonder the same thing. Of the 250 houses I know several, already divorced,separated, retired, duel incomes, he is always gone on business, how many houses have been sold due to divorce, etc.... Then I see a lovely evening for romance, and I have the whole place to myself! The other houses, well... You can see the cars are in the driveway, the TV is shining through the curtains, the computers are on in the den, the pools are empty,and quiet, the lawn chairs are empty, the back decks are empty, the grills are never fired, the balconies are empty, the front porches are empty.
Good luck meeting these people too! They pay to have everything done, they drive home and down goes the garage doors, they tell you as little as possible when you first meet them. Maybe you will meet there kids? Oh wait... Kids don't ride bikes,scooters, skateboards, anymore, they too are inside on there phones!

I am surprised I haven't had any other woman I've dated say it.

Pinkberry - community is so important. One thing I have realized over time is that my STBX has such deep emotional issues that he has no friends (a lot of acquaintances that he would say were friends). Even his family relationships are very surface. I know more about his family history than even he does because I bother to ask questions - about 5 deep. I have told him things his mother has told me that he never knew or thought to ask about their childhood or, his father. I find it crazy.

Wow I used to do that too, when I was walking the dog I go by each house and wonder if they had a sexless marriage. If it was that common, there was a good chance a few other couples in the neighborhood were in a SM. Which ones? I'd see couples at the dog park or the store and wonder are they a sexless marriage?

This was for me at least just another manifestation of the fact that in a sexless marriage sex becomes the thing that takes up the most room in your head. It becomes an obsession, and you spend all your energy figuring out how to cope with its absence, how to get it, being mad over it, spending hours on social media seeking support for it, and yes wondering if you are seeing it everywhere you go. One of the best parts of getting into a more normal deal is how much less important sex becomes. One of my all time favorite stories on EP was when baz ran down the events of a particular day. A nice enjoyable active day... and not a root to be seen. And it didn't matter! In normal life, a day without sex is, well, a day without sex. In a sexless marriage, every day without sex (and even most days with sex) is a slap in the face.

bballgirl - you know, really, my STBX was a great observer and never got in my way at social events and mostly was never a sourpuss about it. He would hang out in the background. Sometimes he would be happy to be there and he could be quite charming and fun.

I do think he is subconsciously jealous of me and I remind him of his mother (and some mommy issues do exist) but for the most part, he was happy to stay behind at home or hang out in the background. In the beginning, I figured we were a pretty good ying/yang. Introvert - Extravert.