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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 7, 2020 9:45:57 GMT -5
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Post by Handy on Oct 7, 2020 10:15:49 GMT -5
The guy in the story had an over abundances of guilt, negativity and is all too typically is assuming way too much self-blame for his paid girl friend experience (GFE) cuddles and kisses.
The gal in the story did a good job IMHO. |
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Post by isthisit on Oct 7, 2020 16:56:56 GMT -5
The author neglected to point out that there is lots of transactional sex happening within marriages. Plenty of guys here describe “you haven’t done enough to deserve sex.... if you do X and Y, then I will want intimacy with you....(after X and Y is achieved) ...oh actually it was A and B you need to do....” within their marriages.
At least with a sex worker it’s transparent and above board, and not pretending to be something he/she isn’t. I have more respect for sex workers than some wives described here.
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Post by saarinista on Oct 7, 2020 19:24:25 GMT -5
The author neglected to point out that there is lots of transactional sex happening within marriages. Plenty of guys here describe “you haven’t done enough to deserve sex.... if you do X and Y, then I will want intimacy with you....(after X and at is achieved) ...oh actually it was A and B you need to do....” within their marriages. At least with a sex worker it’s transparent and above board, and not pretending to be something it isn’t. I have more respect for sex workers than some wives described here. It kind of turns my stomach actually to think that some spouses tell other spouses... "Gee. I won't fuck you (for some time period) because you don't deserve it." To me, that's just abhorrent. I don't even see why anybody would be married to anyone under those conditions. There should never be a quid pro quo with sex. I don't understand some people. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 7, 2020 20:07:23 GMT -5
The author neglected to point out that there is lots of transactional sex happening within marriages. Plenty of guys here describe “you haven’t done enough to deserve sex.... if you do X and Y, then I will want intimacy with you....(after X and at is achieved) ...oh actually it was A and B you need to do....” within their marriages. At least with a sex worker it’s transparent and above board, and not pretending to be something it isn’t. I have more respect for sex workers than some wives described here. More than just "some wives described here", It's a two way street, including some of the husbands described here! The next article in this story is from a woman who sounds like many a SM post on here! Everything's great except the sex. Only to read on and find out 'it aint all that great' ! I liked the response she got. Much of what gets discussed on here, love languages, giving and receiving, respect, one way communication, etc... |
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Post by Handy on Oct 7, 2020 21:02:50 GMT -5
Isthisit
if you do X and Y, then I will want intimacy with you..
We mostly found out that the X and Y are only bluff trinkets thrown our way, but it took some time to discover that s/he really wasn't that interested in sex if we did X or Y.
It is not any different working with a kid that doesn't like Brussels sprouts. You might get him or her to eat them but if they don't like them, they are not going to be in the mood for more sometime later.
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Post by isthisit on Oct 8, 2020 0:31:21 GMT -5
The author neglected to point out that there is lots of transactional sex happening within marriages. Plenty of guys here describe “you haven’t done enough to deserve sex.... if you do X and Y, then I will want intimacy with you....(after X and at is achieved) ...oh actually it was A and B you need to do....” within their marriages. At least with a sex worker it’s transparent and above board, and not pretending to be something it isn’t. I have more respect for sex workers than some wives described here. It kind of turns my stomach actually to think that some spouses tell other spouses... "Gee. I won't fuck you (for some time period) because you don't deserve it." To me, that's just abhorrent. I don't even see why anybody would be married to anyone under those conditions. There should never be a quid pro quo with sex. I don't understand some people. I couldn’t agree more. My H was a pain in the bum in many ways but I can’t complain of that. Why do men here tolerate it? In the clutches of manipulative, narcissistic nightmare wives, fear of their children growing up with another man in their home, did I miss a few? |
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 8, 2020 7:54:46 GMT -5
I don't take much from the article that I think relevant to most ILIASM situations. It reads like a young male who is very shy and lacks the basic foundation for starting or building what most would consider a normal relationship with the opposite sex. It reads like he really need therapy to help deal with his lack of confidence and self esteem issues. Why he is lugging around all the guilt is something a professional might be able to help with.
I am a proponent of "working girls". I have in the past used their services a couple of times when I was relocating to a new town or temporarily away from home and didn't want to waste time or money trying to establish a relationship with a woman when I knew I would not be around for long. Pros can fill in quite nicely when needed. Just like bringing in temp. help for your business. They come in, get the job done and then leave, what's not to like?
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Post by mirrororchid on Oct 9, 2020 4:21:42 GMT -5
At least with a sex worker it’s transparent and above board, and not pretending to be something it isn’t. I have more respect for sex workers than some wives described here. More than just "some wives described here", It's a two way street, including some of the husbands described here!... Do guys ask for choreplay? Maybe, but it might be rare. Ladies, wanna enlighten me? |
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Post by jerri on Oct 9, 2020 7:57:05 GMT -5
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Post by Handy on Oct 9, 2020 10:08:02 GMT -5
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Post by Handy on Oct 9, 2020 10:29:41 GMT -5
Jerri, the heading for the theme "do women trade sex for chores" seems one sided and hints that women do not like sex but will have sex with their H if he does certain things. I wonder if there are any charts pertaining to low sex drive men? Where is the truth that women are also short changed in the sexual activity arena. I just want things to reflect reality for the women in sex starved relationships.
I could come up with a smallish chart of things my W did to turn me off or make sex less interesting.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 9, 2020 18:19:51 GMT -5
I don't take much from the article that I think relevant to most ILIASM situations. It certainly struck home for me. Especially after my divorce. I felt defeated,abused,afraid, and crippled. Look what my approach for 25 yrs. had gotten me? I found myself needing to start over. (sorting my own shit out) Even if that meant throwing all my previous believes out the window, and trying new things and gaining a new perspective. It made me reflect back on my own 'experience' in going to bars and online dating. I liked the way the author did just that with this young man's past fears and failures. |
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Post by Handy on Oct 9, 2020 19:24:11 GMT -5
I don't have any interest in "working girls" for companionship because I have learned enough from forums like ILIASM, the problem is not me. Yes it took way too long to learn that but now I realize a true "girlfriend Experience" is what is best for me.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 9, 2020 19:41:17 GMT -5
I don't have any interest in "working girls" for companionship because I have learned enough from forums like ILIASM, the problem is not me. Yes it took way too long to learn that but now I realize a true "girlfriend Experience" is what is best for me. I did not go looking for a 'working girl' but.....I went looking for validation. And there IS a lot of different reasons why someone might want to 'hook up' with you. I do remember my own experience, years before my SM when I was single. I had been in a relationship for 3 1/2 yrs, was engaged to be married. She cheated on me, I ended the relationship. I was very lonely and depressed. I lived alone in a one bedroom apartment. Months after this happened, one night I got up the nerve to visit a topless bar. I was 22 yrs old. A first for me. I spotted a woman with long dark hair, whom I found very attractive. ( much like the woman I was engaged too) I was a ball of nerves,and felt scared, and unworthy. However I got up the nerve to ask another employee if I could speak to her. I got to see her and told her about my breakup. All I wanted was a kiss and a hug. She was very kind and complimentary of me. That was more than I needed that day. Just a reassuring kiss and a hug that I was going to be alright. decades later.... and I still remember it! |
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