Long story short. My sister has a son who is terminal with a nasty lingering disease. His mental health is also collapsing , so much so that he refuses to see family members. She visits once a month. Anyhow when I went on my birthday trip I was in the same city as him. She mentioned this and I replied if I had known I would have visited. She said I knew and the fact I had forgotten was an insult and is not talking. I cannot recall her ever mentioning the city, ever. She has kept him isolated from the family, no one visits but the agony of his plight is awful. We all try to support her through this. I want to apologise to her but cannot apologise for forgetting something I never knew. Do I just man up and apologise anyway? The childishness of not talking annoys me but I presume I swallow this and go from there? My baby sister has intimated my big sister is about ready to hear my apology.
Personal opinion only - people who want to play the "not speaking to you" card suit me just fine. The less I hear from such people the better. I would be doing NOTHING to encourage her to break her silence.
Brother lessingham . I am speculating here, and could be well off the mark, and it might appear to be a bit "judgey" too, so I apologise in advance.
It looks like you have at least two women in your life (your missus and now a sister) who adopt bombastic attitudes toward you and seem to think it their God given right to run your life for you and to control what you do and when you do it.
Are there (or were there in the past) more ? Is there a pattern there ?
lessingham, it really doesn’t matter if she told you and you don’t recall, or she’s wrong about telling you in the first place.
You might try taking the approach that regardless of the backstory, you didn’t snub him intentionally, you regret missing the opportunity to see him, and it would be unfortunate if it became an issue that divided your family.
I’d be inclined to have a lot of patience with someone whose child is in the last stages of a terminal illness. The emotional stress must be intense.
That said, I have a lot of frustration with the logic that “you must be misremembering, but my recollection is perfect”. I run into this with W often... apparently, were not equally fallible humans.
Unto the third generation, Baza. My mother debased me in preference to her perfect daughters. My sisters kept me in my place and my wife took over. My nephew could die tomorrow or in ten years time. It is a cruel and nasty disease that takes but never strikes the killer blow. He rejects us all. The main bug bear here is this silence thing. If you have a problem with me, for God's sake tell me so I can defend myself or make amends. And I agree about perfect memory syndrome, it annoys.
Post by northstarmom on Feb 26, 2020 9:59:57 GMT -5
I don’t understand why — if your nephew refuses to see visitors — you told your sister that you would have visited if you’d known he was in the city you visited. Seems that would have been a waste of time.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5
grower: Embrace a change, you will wonder why you waited so long
Jul 9, 2020 11:22:56 GMT -5
grower: Your life clock is ticking away, don't waste all your time. Live some.
Jul 24, 2020 9:53:20 GMT -5
fred: blue guy, i was where you are 30 years ago. stayed.................nothing changed. if i didn't love this nice lady so much i'd be in deep regret. if she doesn't think of you in a hundred "other" ways (as does my wife) GET OUT ! Life is short
Aug 10, 2020 17:43:15 GMT -5
jerri: Yuk on the plucking chicken feathers. If a chicken doesn't get sex and intimacy she just finds a beautiful cock sooner or later. I'd say there's a much higher "philandering" rate than anyone would care to admit. The rooster who is tormented findsa chicken!
Sept 10, 2020 8:23:56 GMT -5
csl: And yet, there is an entire segment of ILIASM stayers.
Sept 10, 2020 22:04:05 GMT -5
jerri: Exactly I have read multiple threads. I was very impressed with all the different solutions everyone has found. Intellectual group and the camaraderie is nice
Sept 11, 2020 9:44:57 GMT -5
Handy: What happened to being light outside until 9:30 PM? It is 7:30 PM and dark now.
Sept 20, 2020 20:46:01 GMT -5
jerri: It's not hot there? I am getting a slight break from the heat! Cheer up buddy!
Sept 21, 2020 0:27:37 GMT -5
petrushka: Well WE are getting closer to summer. Just passed Equinox. I expect the solar panels will start paying for themselves again in the near future. (over the last few months they have merely mitigated the power bills).
Sept 21, 2020 21:00:36 GMT -5
wewbwb: jerri the average intelligence of the end posts rose greatly since I stopped posting ! Hope allis well!
Sept 26, 2020 7:29:23 GMT -5
jerri: Don't be too busy to post. Come back, wewbwb! 💜
Sept 26, 2020 20:12:33 GMT -5
Handy: Jerri, you bring intelligence, so stop that nonsense.
Sept 26, 2020 20:19:03 GMT -5
Handy: petrushka, I saved a picture of your solar panels and shop from an old post of yours. I like what I saw. Best wishes on getting the photons, or particles of light, to knock electrons free from atoms.
Sept 28, 2020 1:09:41 GMT -5
jerri: Handy, that's a really great Podcast so far. Robert Glover)
Sept 28, 2020 15:33:24 GMT -5