Long story short. My sister has a son who is terminal with a nasty lingering disease. His mental health is also collapsing , so much so that he refuses to see family members. She visits once a month. Anyhow when I went on my birthday trip I was in the same city as him. She mentioned this and I replied if I had known I would have visited. She said I knew and the fact I had forgotten was an insult and is not talking. I cannot recall her ever mentioning the city, ever. She has kept him isolated from the family, no one visits but the agony of his plight is awful. We all try to support her through this. I want to apologise to her but cannot apologise for forgetting something I never knew. Do I just man up and apologise anyway? The childishness of not talking annoys me but I presume I swallow this and go from there? My baby sister has intimated my big sister is about ready to hear my apology.
Personal opinion only - people who want to play the "not speaking to you" card suit me just fine. The less I hear from such people the better. I would be doing NOTHING to encourage her to break her silence.
Brother lessingham . I am speculating here, and could be well off the mark, and it might appear to be a bit "judgey" too, so I apologise in advance.
It looks like you have at least two women in your life (your missus and now a sister) who adopt bombastic attitudes toward you and seem to think it their God given right to run your life for you and to control what you do and when you do it.
Are there (or were there in the past) more ? Is there a pattern there ?
lessingham, it really doesn’t matter if she told you and you don’t recall, or she’s wrong about telling you in the first place.
You might try taking the approach that regardless of the backstory, you didn’t snub him intentionally, you regret missing the opportunity to see him, and it would be unfortunate if it became an issue that divided your family.
I’d be inclined to have a lot of patience with someone whose child is in the last stages of a terminal illness. The emotional stress must be intense.
That said, I have a lot of frustration with the logic that “you must be misremembering, but my recollection is perfect”. I run into this with W often... apparently, were not equally fallible humans.
Unto the third generation, Baza. My mother debased me in preference to her perfect daughters. My sisters kept me in my place and my wife took over. My nephew could die tomorrow or in ten years time. It is a cruel and nasty disease that takes but never strikes the killer blow. He rejects us all. The main bug bear here is this silence thing. If you have a problem with me, for God's sake tell me so I can defend myself or make amends. And I agree about perfect memory syndrome, it annoys.
Post by northstarmom on Feb 26, 2020 9:59:57 GMT -5
I don’t understand why — if your nephew refuses to see visitors — you told your sister that you would have visited if you’d known he was in the city you visited. Seems that would have been a waste of time.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Since our esteemed governor has declared a state of emergency here in NC (a total of 12 cases so far) the hording of toilet paper has begun. Is diarrhea a part of covid 19? I see Lowes and Home Depot have quick install toilet retro fit bidets.
Mar 13, 2020 10:34:57 GMT -5
petrushka: I've no idea what it is with the toilet paper hoarding. I walked out of a supermarket yesterday and saw a woman with the jumbo sized trolley and some 4x 18 roll packs of toilet paper. Nuts. Completely nuts. Incidentally, a bidet is definitely the way to go
Mar 14, 2020 6:18:43 GMT -5
petrushka: Even her little 5 or 6 year old was questioning her purchase!
Mar 14, 2020 6:25:44 GMT -5
petrushka: One of my favourite quotes for the last 30 years: "don't ever look a sheep in the eyes, the intellectual vacuum may suck your brains out". Well, let's all drink to the sheeple! (besides, alcohol is a good disinfectant).
Mar 14, 2020 6:31:26 GMT -5
frednsa: so...............i'd like to tell her when she "attempts to placate me": have you ever been invited to a party where you knew for certain that you WEREN'T wanted ?
Mar 19, 2020 15:57:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Former Miss Hawaii tests positive. Being the gallant lad that I am I have offered her the use of my guest bedroom to "shelter in place"..
Mar 23, 2020 20:34:21 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey tamara68, there is a covid19 positive cat in Belgium, watch out for it.
Mar 30, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68.....it's been a couple weeks since you posted you may have the covid19 virus. hopefully you are feeling better and are on your way to renewed health
Apr 11, 2020 5:31:38 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme thanks, yes I am feeling better. How is it in the USA?
Apr 14, 2020 1:57:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: some better and some worse,..virus seems to be slowing down, but people are beginning to refuse to stay inside,...worst thing I see is Biden leading in the election poles,...but that could be fake news
Apr 20, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Politics? Is that what we want to happen here?
Apr 21, 2020 6:21:24 GMT -5
petrushka: Certainly not American style politics. Toxic echo chambers.
Apr 23, 2020 16:21:52 GMT -5
petrushka: However, I feel that sexual politics, including political moves that impact the relationships between gender (misogynist, misandrist, etc) definitely deserve room in this context.
Apr 23, 2020 16:22:59 GMT -5
fred: just calculated that i've spent somewhere near 19,000 days (& nights) as a "rejectee".AND that allows for 2,000+ days (& nights) on business travel apart from her. i've chosen to "stay" .....would never do that again, and can't as you see doing the math
May 15, 2020 18:01:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5