|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Dec 19, 2019 23:56:17 GMT -5
www.womansworld.com/posts/dont-want-to-be-a-grandmother-145420?fbclid=IwAR3fMeQ9nTDnLpANz18ehEUyi_F-E9Zt3bXugGMUt1EngNGyyi2ukAaHPecI agreed with much of this, and wanted to pass it along. One thing I would like to add to it is this; In today's world people are getting married less and less, they are having less children, and something like 80% of couples are duel employed. My own children ( now adults) showed very little interest in dating. Sadly, I can only imagine how much my own SM affected them and influenced them  I used to gladly dream of having a dozen grandkids! Now? It's hardly on my radar, and I don't want to intrude my wishes or expectations upon my adult children. I am also enjoying re-building my own self, for now!
|
|
|
|
Post by lessingham on Dec 20, 2019 5:52:46 GMT -5
I would give my right arm for grandchildren.
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Dec 20, 2019 12:28:43 GMT -5
No desire for grandchildren. I don’t think this is a good world to bring children into. I’m also fully enjoying my life as it is.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Dec 20, 2019 13:52:17 GMT -5
No desire for grandchildren here - although I am a defacto grandfather to Ms enna's grandaughter.
Interesting to note -
My eldest brother has 2 kids, no grandkids and none likely
I have 2 kids, no grandkids.
Our middle brother has 3 kids and 11 grandkids and 3 great grandkids.
|
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Dec 20, 2019 14:28:07 GMT -5
I am well into the grandkids lane, currently with 3(oldest son) and in the not to distant future my youngest son and his W will be adding to that total.
|
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Dec 20, 2019 19:40:41 GMT -5
I remember back when I first showed up on EP, believing that me and my SM wife (now ex) would HAVE TO remain married for eternity because our large family ( 6 teens at the time) would remain living with us through college. Then a period of unemployment. Then would come marriage and their visits. Then the grandchildren. Then ( maybe?) divorce and us having to raise the grandkids as our own?
All reasons to think we needed to stay together and hold on to the big house. Looking back I see far to much giving, and/or being dependant on being needed by family. Instead I feel a much healthier outlook ahead, by setting boundaries to have my family be 'responsible ' for themselves in the future. With or without me having grandkids as I live my own life.
|
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Dec 30, 2019 0:32:45 GMT -5
I wanted the American dream, a decent house, a loving wife, a few kids, and eventually grandkids, and to leave a good legacy for all of them. Selecting the wrong spouse and sticking by her was a guaranteed way to end all of that.
The decent house went to the ex. I was generous, because I wanted to minimally disrupt my daughter's world. I get no credit for that, so if anyone else is thinking of divorcing I highly recommend not playing nice.
As for the kids, I set aside money to invest for them. My eldest, realizing she was fully independent, has let her narcissism go into full swing. She does not need me in her life. My Christmas gifts to both kids were received, but, I got no communication back. I am blocked on social media by both kids, and my texts and calls go unanswered. Who knows how long this will continue. That phrase in our divorce agreement that my ex would help foster a relationship between me and my youngest daughter is not worth the ink it took to print it. In fact, the opposite is true from what I can deduce.
So, my expectations of having grandkids some day, and playing with and teaching them, are pretty much shot.
I disagree that this is not a good world to raise kids. It's an amazing world. We are solving problems, and living better and longer, and creating less polution in the process. This is a wonderful time to be alive.
|
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Dec 30, 2019 23:55:07 GMT -5
ironhamster I'm so sorry about the alienation. Having experienced total alienation by my husbands son and I guess what would be my step grandchildren, I know how painful it is. Your divorce is relatively recent. Have you considered talking with your lawyer about whether it could be useful to haul your wife into court or at least write a threatening letter about the kids blocking you on the social media and all that crap? I can't remember how old your kids are but any who are minors could certainly be forced to talk to you. No one want to have to force, but you deserve some contact from your damned kids.
|
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Dec 31, 2019 0:02:22 GMT -5
ironhamster I'm so sorry about the alienation. Having experienced total alienation by my husbands son and I guess what would be my step grandchildren, I know how painful it is. Your divorce is relatively recent. Have you considered talking with your lawyer about whether it could be useful to haul your wife into court or at least write a threatening letter about the kids blocking you on the social media and all that crap? I can't remember how old your kids are but any who are minors could certainly be forced to talk to you. No one want to have to force, but you deserve some contact from your damned kids. My youngest is seventeen. I should talk with my lawyer about that. There is a Mark Twain quote, "When I was seventeen I was confounded by my father's ignorance. When I was twenty-four, I could not believe how much the old man had learned in just seven short years." I hope this pans out. |
|
ditchsurfer
New Member
Married for 27 years, not been sensual in 5 years. Staying for now
Posts: 15 
Age Range: 56-60
|
Post by ditchsurfer on Apr 8, 2020 19:04:22 GMT -5
We are raising our 8yo grandson, through legal guardianship. He has been with us for 6 years and the main reason I will not leave my non sexual wife.
|
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Apr 11, 2020 2:51:54 GMT -5
ironhamster I'm so sorry about the alienation. Having experienced total alienation by my husbands son and I guess what would be my step grandchildren, I know how painful it is. Your divorce is relatively recent. Have you considered talking with your lawyer about whether it could be useful to haul your wife into court or at least write a threatening letter about the kids blocking you on the social media and all that crap? I can't remember how old your kids are but any who are minors could certainly be forced to talk to you. No one want to have to force, but you deserve some contact from your damned kids. My youngest is seventeen. I should talk with my lawyer about that. There is a Mark Twain quote, "When I was seventeen I was confounded by my father's ignorance. When I was twenty-four, I could not believe how much the old man had learned in just seven short years." I hope this pans out. Hurry up before he turns 18, dammit! |
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 11, 2020 5:50:58 GMT -5
I have spent a lot of time caring for my grandchildren. When they were babies I had them literally all day, from 7 am until usually around 6 pm. And up until this virus thing I continued to pick them up after school and care for them until their parents returned home.
My own dad left when I was 7 and I rarely saw him until after I graduated from high school. I know how growing up in a household without male influence effects a young male. I know a # of grandparents in my church who are primary custodians of their grandchildren. Grandparents raising their grandchildren seems more prevalent now.
Don't ever pass up the opportunity to spend some time with a grandchild. Those opportunities will evaporate away before you know it.
|
|
