Bizzaro Land.

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Rhapsodee
Senior Members

A composition free in structure and emotional in character

Posts: 1,021

Age Range: 56-60

Bizzaro Land. Dec 7, 2019 3:22:23 GMT -5 via Tapatalk warmways and solodriver like this

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Post by Rhapsodee on Dec 7, 2019 3:22:23 GMT -5

I want to leave. I plan to leave. I am leaving. But, my husband appears to be completely confident that I will never leave him.

I’m living in bizarro land.

I have been openly packing things and moving them into storage and discarding unnecessary things. He never asks.

I have completely disengaged myself from the marriage. I’m never home. I have been openly dating my lover. I don’t care about being discovered.

Every day, I leave our house at 10:30 and stay with my lover until time to go to work at Costco. The nights I’m not working, I spend the entire day with him and go dancing in the evening. Weekends, we meet for events around town. I have even stayed the night with him once. I get home and my husband smiles and asks if I had a good time.

Either he is completely oblivious or he’s a very good actor. Maybe he knows all about my relationship and is stringing me along to ambush me after the holidays. Or maybe he figures that giving me all the freedom I want, I’ll get tired of everything and eventually settle down with him. He needs me to stay because of his bad business decisions and poor management of his company. We have no retirement. Not a penny. I have a job and he thinks he can retire and we will live on my little paycheck and his social security.

Things are going to get really nasty when I leave.

.

It only hurts when I don't laugh.

northstarmom Senior Members Posts: 4,357	Bizzaro Land. Dec 7, 2019 9:45:16 GMT -5 via mobile Rhapsodee likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by northstarmom on Dec 7, 2019 9:45:16 GMT -5 Have you hired a lawyer? Are you working closely with that person. Your h could be very aware of your plans and he be doing everything possible including with money to prevent your leaving.

Rhapsodee
Senior Members

A composition free in structure and emotional in character

Posts: 1,021

Age Range: 56-60

Bizzaro Land. Dec 7, 2019 12:45:10 GMT -5 via Tapatalk jim44444, northstarmom, and 2 more like this

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Post by Rhapsodee on Dec 7, 2019 12:45:10 GMT -5

Dec 7, 2019 9:45:16 GMT -5 northstarmom said:

Have you hired a lawyer? Are you working closely with that person.
Your h could be very aware of your plans and he be doing everything possible including with money to prevent your leaving.

I’ve consulted with an attorney. I’m gathering the $2000 retainer. In the mean time I’ll file for the divorce myself and have him served. It’s only $135 if I do that. She gave me some good advice concerning finances. We will use the company as leverage to get what I want.

It only hurts when I don't laugh.

ironhamster Senior Members 25 year SM veteran. Happily Divorced. Posts: 2,634	Bizzaro Land. Dec 9, 2019 4:57:26 GMT -5 via mobile Rhapsodee and warmways like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ironhamster on Dec 9, 2019 4:57:26 GMT -5 Keep that ball moving forward. Congratulations on your new life taking shape.

angeleyes65
Senior Member

Posts: 553

Bizzaro Land. Jan 11, 2020 9:23:21 GMT -5 via Tapatalk greatcoastal, worksforme2, and 1 more like this

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Post by angeleyes65 on Jan 11, 2020 9:23:21 GMT -5

My ex was similar then when I left he was devastated and claimed he had no idea or he would have tried to fix it. 2 .5 years later still saying the same thing. All I can say is you can't fix stupid, selfabsorbed, or crazy.
Keep walking your path it's so worth it.

worksforme2
Senior Members

Posts: 3,345

Age Range: 70+

Bizzaro Land. Jan 11, 2020 11:04:45 GMT -5 itme and angeleyes65 like this

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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 11, 2020 11:04:45 GMT -5

A short time after the divorce my X stated that she never thought she would be divorced a 2nd time. I was somewhat amazed by the statement. Given the # of talks we had about how unhappy I was and how often we reset the intimacy I can't see how she couldn't see it coming straight at her. It's like the times I repeatedly stated I couldn't stay in a marriage with no intimacy just blew right by her.

angeleyes65
Senior Member

Posts: 553

Bizzaro Land. Jan 11, 2020 12:01:07 GMT -5 via Tapatalk itme likes this

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Post by angeleyes65 on Jan 11, 2020 12:01:07 GMT -5

@worksforme
Right? I told him to quit saying that it was not helping his cause. It really pissed me off to know I wasted so much time and emotional energy letting him know how I feel and where I was at.

greatcoastal
Senior Members

Thanks for the Birthday wishes! Dinner with a friend tonight and B.D dance with the ladies!

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Bizzaro Land. Jan 11, 2020 14:24:12 GMT -5 itme, Handy, and 1 more like this

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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 11, 2020 14:24:12 GMT -5

Jan 11, 2020 12:01:07 GMT -5 angeleyes65 said:

Sounds exactly what a narcissist does. Lives in a state of denial, hears only what they want to hear, Denies, aviods, reverses then plays victim. They won't admit they were wrong, if they do it's just word salad with no actions. More and more manipulation to keep them in control. Taking, taking, and only giving crumbs.

These are the times, and the people to just detach from and move on with yourself.

Stars can't shine without darkness.

endthegame Junior Member Posts: 96 Age Range: 46-50	Bizzaro Land. Jan 23, 2020 14:45:53 GMT -5 via mobile angeleyes65 likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by endthegame on Jan 23, 2020 14:45:53 GMT -5 This is technically DARVO, or Deny Attak Reverse Victim Offender. Its typical behaviour.

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