Boundaries, Shrinks for Men Excerpt
Dec 5, 2019 16:08:08 GMT -5
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jim44444 and workingonit like this
Post by ironhamster on Dec 5, 2019 16:08:08 GMT -5
5. Sexual.
Healthy sexual boundaries are similar to healthy physical boundaries. How well do you know your sexual comfort levels? Are you able to say no to people and/or activities and kinds of touch you dislike or make you feel uncomfortable? Can you clearly say no without feeling guilt or fear? Are you able to clearly express what you like and don’t like? Do you respect a partner’s sexual likes, dislikes and no-fly zones without judging and shaming them?
Which leads to a common problem many of my male clients experience. They respect their wives’ sexual boundaries (as in no sex) and, as a result, are in long-term sexless marriages. Their partners have shamed them just for wanting to have sexual intimacy. While I’m not in their bedrooms, from their self-reporting, these guys are asking for pretty basic stuff. The rejection, shame and then resentment and anger these men feel is incredibly painful. Instead of owning their own lack of sexual interest, hang-ups and/or dysfunction, these women project it onto their husbands. Shaming a partner for desiring intimacy and a healthy sex drive is cruel.
Healthy sexual boundaries are similar to healthy physical boundaries. How well do you know your sexual comfort levels? Are you able to say no to people and/or activities and kinds of touch you dislike or make you feel uncomfortable? Can you clearly say no without feeling guilt or fear? Are you able to clearly express what you like and don’t like? Do you respect a partner’s sexual likes, dislikes and no-fly zones without judging and shaming them?
Which leads to a common problem many of my male clients experience. They respect their wives’ sexual boundaries (as in no sex) and, as a result, are in long-term sexless marriages. Their partners have shamed them just for wanting to have sexual intimacy. While I’m not in their bedrooms, from their self-reporting, these guys are asking for pretty basic stuff. The rejection, shame and then resentment and anger these men feel is incredibly painful. Instead of owning their own lack of sexual interest, hang-ups and/or dysfunction, these women project it onto their husbands. Shaming a partner for desiring intimacy and a healthy sex drive is cruel.
