Post by ironhamster on Dec 5, 2019 16:08:08 GMT -5
5. Sexual. Healthy sexual boundaries are similar to healthy physical boundaries. How well do you know your sexual comfort levels? Are you able to say no to people and/or activities and kinds of touch you dislike or make you feel uncomfortable? Can you clearly say no without feeling guilt or fear? Are you able to clearly express what you like and don’t like? Do you respect a partner’s sexual likes, dislikes and no-fly zones without judging and shaming them?
Which leads to a common problem many of my male clients experience. They respect their wives’ sexual boundaries (as in no sex) and, as a result, are in long-term sexless marriages. Their partners have shamed them just for wanting to have sexual intimacy. While I’m not in their bedrooms, from their self-reporting, these guys are asking for pretty basic stuff. The rejection, shame and then resentment and anger these men feel is incredibly painful. Instead of owning their own lack of sexual interest, hang-ups and/or dysfunction, these women project it onto their husbands. Shaming a partner for desiring intimacy and a healthy sex drive is cruel.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5