visexual
New Member
Married 47+ years to a good gal. On our 40th anniversary we had intercourse for the last time.
Posts: 6
Age Range: 70+
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Post by visexual on Oct 15, 2019 3:18:28 GMT -5
Hey everyone, My wife and I had 40 wonderful fucking years. We stopped doing that over 7 years ago. It was her idea because intercourse became painful. She didn't want to talk to her doctor about it and thought we could just do other things. We tried that for a while but it became frustrating for me. So, for years now, we share a hug and a peck on the lips every morning and maybe another peck on the lips two or three times a week at other times. Other than sex, or the lack there-of, our marriage has always been good. We never had children or financial problems so we've stayed married because we've wanted to, not for any other reason. OK, that said, I don't want to cheat and am not here looking for a co-cheater. I just thought it'd be helpful to find friends who I can discuss, honestly, things I just wouldn't want to share with friends that also know my wife. I'm guessing that she'd never admit to them that we're in this situation.
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Post by baza on Oct 15, 2019 19:34:02 GMT -5
Hello Brother visexual . Thing to keep in mind here is that you are not obliged to do anything. The three options you have (stay, cheat, leave) are all perfectly legitimate, and they all get debated and explored within this group. Just about everyone joins here telling a tale that - "everything is great bar the sex" Often-times the members' narrative as their story unfolds tells a rather different story.
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Post by frednsa on Oct 19, 2019 18:21:19 GMT -5
50+ years. none of them "wonderful fucking", just fucking and pretty much only by my initiation. i love her and always will - wonderful lady, just completely sexless. don't know how i did it. or why (except that love thing) I find the burden of so many years without passion or desire coming my way to be less bearable as time goes by. prayer, wishing, trying new approaches, abstaining..........i've done it all......for naught. OK, i'm whining, who deserves this right more ? I'd take a lover without hesitation but after all this time my confidence is lower than my shoelaces. sorry
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Post by baza on Oct 19, 2019 19:40:25 GMT -5
If you have the outsourcing option under consideration Brother frednsa , be aware that it is inevitably a game changer. And the way the game changes is wildly unpredictable .... up to and including the collapse of your primary relationship. For that reason, it smart to consult a lawyer - beforehand - in your jurisdiction to establish how a divorce would shake out for you so you are playing with a full deck, and making a fully informed choice. It's not a scenario to go into in a half arsed manner.
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Post by Handy on Oct 19, 2019 20:16:27 GMT -5
@fredsa I'd take a lover without hesitation but after all this time my confidence is lower than my shoelaces. sorry
I think many of the ILIASM would do the same but don't because it takes time, money and we usually feel like it would lead to us feeling guilty.
I see that you signed up over a year ago. What have you done to distract yourself?
Start your own thread and open up regarding what you do other than think about the no-sex marriage.
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