Post by sunnysean on Oct 5, 2019 10:54:05 GMT -5
I have a friend that is in a rough marriage. They fight about everything, threaten each other about leaving, have unequal roles is the daily grind of keeping a house together, and their marriage has been sexless for about 3 years, and early on in their marriage she cheating on him and he still struggles with that. (They now have three kids)
He is always asking me for advice because he thinks my wife and I have it together. I have never told him that my marriage is sexless. I guess I should.
When he brings up the topic of his SM, I don't give any advice and I don't indicate that it is a problem for me. I just listen, take it in, and internalize it. For them it seems like the SM isn't one sided. I think they both would rather not have sex with each other right now.
I feel somewhat like a sham since he thinks everything is awesome in my marriage. Like I've said before, as long as you leave sex out of the picture we do have a fairytale marriage.
I somehow have the ability to not let my frustrations with the sexless part to leak into other areas. (Sometimes it does, but that is rare. It is mostly because I get depressed and that depression effects other parts.)
I really don't know if I help or hurt my friend. I think he should call it quits myself, but I have never told him that. I have come to the conclusion by watching him that staying together for the kids is not always the right thing to do. Their kids suffer because of their poor relationship. I tell him what works for us, how we do things, parenting advice, etc. I never bash his wife, but I often take his side.
So, Do I tell him that I too am in a SM? Do you think that would help him?
Do I ever tell him I think he should call it quits? I don't want to lose him as a friend.
He is always asking me for advice because he thinks my wife and I have it together. I have never told him that my marriage is sexless. I guess I should.
When he brings up the topic of his SM, I don't give any advice and I don't indicate that it is a problem for me. I just listen, take it in, and internalize it. For them it seems like the SM isn't one sided. I think they both would rather not have sex with each other right now.
I feel somewhat like a sham since he thinks everything is awesome in my marriage. Like I've said before, as long as you leave sex out of the picture we do have a fairytale marriage.
I somehow have the ability to not let my frustrations with the sexless part to leak into other areas. (Sometimes it does, but that is rare. It is mostly because I get depressed and that depression effects other parts.)
I really don't know if I help or hurt my friend. I think he should call it quits myself, but I have never told him that. I have come to the conclusion by watching him that staying together for the kids is not always the right thing to do. Their kids suffer because of their poor relationship. I tell him what works for us, how we do things, parenting advice, etc. I never bash his wife, but I often take his side.
So, Do I tell him that I too am in a SM? Do you think that would help him?
Do I ever tell him I think he should call it quits? I don't want to lose him as a friend.
