I joined a community concert band about ten years ago. I’ve made friends and really enjoy playing music in a group again. Rehearsals are on a weeknight and I sometimes feel reluctant or too tired to go, but I go anyway and I’m always happy that I did. It’s so nice to be greeted warmly by people who are happy to see me and want to know how my week has been.
I used to skip out on invitations if my husband didn’t want to go. I realized that I missed my family and friends. And I was missing out on things I wanted to do. Now I go anyway—solo. Or I ask my daughter to be my plus one.
I’m still working on that. It took a long time for me to even leave the house, but this year, I traveled to a foreign country, and even spent a few days on my own in a city where I didn’t speak the language, and my phone didn’t work most of the time, but I survived getting myself on a train and traveling to another city, and made it on the subway. It was a bit nerve wracking, not knowing the language, and I never knew a soul there. It felt lonely, but I survived, and eventually made it back home. I’d stepped way out of my security bubble, and that gave me confidence to do a few other things. I’m no social butterfly, and probably never will be, but I’m going through the process of what making some kind of life looks like for me. You find out what you like, and what you don’t like. I’d forgotten. Just try things that interest you, and start there. Good luck!
I went to a tai chi lesson yesterday. It was a small drop in group and fun. I even chatted to the others! It felt good to be with people looking for health rather than staying home with my wife, who has now developed a bad back!!!
Post by worksforme2 on Nov 14, 2019 8:50:44 GMT -5
Your posts are getting better and better. As you reach out and extend your social activities I'm betting life will get better and better for you. You are doing what I should be doing more of. A good circle of friends or people that I interact with is something I am sorely lacking. As my grandkids grow up hopefully I won't be needed so much as a caregiver for them in the future. That might allow me some time to spend doing activities alongside other adults. Riding my motorcycle provides some mind therapy, but it is essentially a solitary activity, even if others are riding with me in a group.
Post by northstarmom on Nov 14, 2019 15:17:47 GMT -5
Worksforme said: “ As my grandkids grow up hopefully I won't be needed so much as a caregiver for them in the future. ”
Is there a reason your grandkids can’t be cared for more by babysitters or other relatives! The friends I have who pursue their own interests despite having grandkids nearby make sure to carve out time for themselves and not get into the habit of babysitting at a moment’s notice. They also seem to be more appreciated by their kids.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: One of my favourite quotes for the last 30 years: "don't ever look a sheep in the eyes, the intellectual vacuum may suck your brains out". Well, let's all drink to the sheeple! (besides, alcohol is a good disinfectant).
Mar 14, 2020 6:31:26 GMT -5
frednsa: so...............i'd like to tell her when she "attempts to placate me": have you ever been invited to a party where you knew for certain that you WEREN'T wanted ?
Mar 19, 2020 15:57:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Former Miss Hawaii tests positive. Being the gallant lad that I am I have offered her the use of my guest bedroom to "shelter in place"..
Mar 23, 2020 20:34:21 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey tamara68, there is a covid19 positive cat in Belgium, watch out for it.
Mar 30, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68.....it's been a couple weeks since you posted you may have the covid19 virus. hopefully you are feeling better and are on your way to renewed health
Apr 11, 2020 5:31:38 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme thanks, yes I am feeling better. How is it in the USA?
Apr 14, 2020 1:57:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: some better and some worse,..virus seems to be slowing down, but people are beginning to refuse to stay inside,...worst thing I see is Biden leading in the election poles,...but that could be fake news
Apr 20, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Politics? Is that what we want to happen here?
Apr 21, 2020 6:21:24 GMT -5
petrushka: Certainly not American style politics. Toxic echo chambers.
Apr 23, 2020 16:21:52 GMT -5
petrushka: However, I feel that sexual politics, including political moves that impact the relationships between gender (misogynist, misandrist, etc) definitely deserve room in this context.
Apr 23, 2020 16:22:59 GMT -5
fred: just calculated that i've spent somewhere near 19,000 days (& nights) as a "rejectee".AND that allows for 2,000+ days (& nights) on business travel apart from her. i've chosen to "stay" .....would never do that again, and can't as you see doing the math
May 15, 2020 18:01:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5
grower: Embrace a change, you will wonder why you waited so long
Jul 9, 2020 11:22:56 GMT -5
grower: Your life clock is ticking away, don't waste all your time. Live some.
Jul 24, 2020 9:53:20 GMT -5
fred: blue guy, i was where you are 30 years ago. stayed.................nothing changed. if i didn't love this nice lady so much i'd be in deep regret. if she doesn't think of you in a hundred "other" ways (as does my wife) GET OUT ! Life is short
Aug 10, 2020 17:43:15 GMT -5