I joined a community concert band about ten years ago. I’ve made friends and really enjoy playing music in a group again. Rehearsals are on a weeknight and I sometimes feel reluctant or too tired to go, but I go anyway and I’m always happy that I did. It’s so nice to be greeted warmly by people who are happy to see me and want to know how my week has been.
I used to skip out on invitations if my husband didn’t want to go. I realized that I missed my family and friends. And I was missing out on things I wanted to do. Now I go anyway—solo. Or I ask my daughter to be my plus one.
I’m still working on that. It took a long time for me to even leave the house, but this year, I traveled to a foreign country, and even spent a few days on my own in a city where I didn’t speak the language, and my phone didn’t work most of the time, but I survived getting myself on a train and traveling to another city, and made it on the subway. It was a bit nerve wracking, not knowing the language, and I never knew a soul there. It felt lonely, but I survived, and eventually made it back home. I’d stepped way out of my security bubble, and that gave me confidence to do a few other things. I’m no social butterfly, and probably never will be, but I’m going through the process of what making some kind of life looks like for me. You find out what you like, and what you don’t like. I’d forgotten. Just try things that interest you, and start there. Good luck!
I went to a tai chi lesson yesterday. It was a small drop in group and fun. I even chatted to the others! It felt good to be with people looking for health rather than staying home with my wife, who has now developed a bad back!!!
Post by worksforme2 on Nov 14, 2019 8:50:44 GMT -5
Your posts are getting better and better. As you reach out and extend your social activities I'm betting life will get better and better for you. You are doing what I should be doing more of. A good circle of friends or people that I interact with is something I am sorely lacking. As my grandkids grow up hopefully I won't be needed so much as a caregiver for them in the future. That might allow me some time to spend doing activities alongside other adults. Riding my motorcycle provides some mind therapy, but it is essentially a solitary activity, even if others are riding with me in a group.
Post by northstarmom on Nov 14, 2019 15:17:47 GMT -5
Worksforme said: “ As my grandkids grow up hopefully I won't be needed so much as a caregiver for them in the future. ”
Is there a reason your grandkids can’t be cared for more by babysitters or other relatives! The friends I have who pursue their own interests despite having grandkids nearby make sure to carve out time for themselves and not get into the habit of babysitting at a moment’s notice. They also seem to be more appreciated by their kids.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5