Post by worksforme2 on Nov 14, 2019 16:44:36 GMT -5
northstarmom, the short answer is yes there is. Actually the other grandparents also are caregivers for the grandkids. I watch them 3 days a week and the other 2 weekdays the other grandparents step in. I am retired and the others are employed. The grandkids parents both work full time. As for employing a sitter the parents do not have the money. I do usually have 4 days a week when I can do my own activities. But I don't seem to be able to find a lot of spare time to do anything other than maintaining my property and attending to maintenance issues for my church. I plan to cut back on some of the church stuff at the end of the year and hopefully I can find some community activities to participate in to make some new friends.
Post by lessingham on Nov 26, 2019 10:28:59 GMT -5
Wow. I had a round robin invite to a Christmas meal from a guy I knew in university! There is a group of men from my old university meeting for a meal in London. I said yes! Adventures breed adventures.
The day of the Christmas meal and I am scared and do not want to go. I am scared I will relapse into my old university persona, a spineless ghost, or everyone will be successful and rich. Do poor failures ever go to university reunions?
I am on the train and going. I love train journeys, I see them as the start of adventures. I love London. It is a meal so if I lose the ball of conversation I can stuff food in my mouth. And it is good practice as maybe someday I will be travelling to meet the woman I should have met 40 years ago!
Post by northstarmom on Dec 17, 2019 9:14:11 GMT -5
I’m glad you are going. View success as your getting out of your comfort zone and expanding your life by going to the dinner.
As for conversation, good conversationalists draw others out about themselves. Ask people about what they do for fun, what their treasured memories of college were, in what ways have they changed or how they view life differently compared to how they were and thought as students. Ask about favorite books and movies and why they like those things. And, of course, answer the questions you pose to others.
Questions like that lead to real connections that can lead to friendships.
The book Breaking The Male Code: Unblocking the Powet of Friendship May be something that will help you learn to build on your new connections after.
Google “200 questions to get to know someone” for great questions to ask (and answer) to get to know others and deepen relations.
FWIW my view of myself in college was that I was shy, awkward and quiet as I was a small town girl struggling to adjust to a big city and sophisticated classmates. To my surprise, when I went to my 25th reunion, I learned that some of my classmates remembered me as having been very thoughtful and having intriguing viewpoints that inspired them to reconsider their own views.
The kind of event you are going to also can be a chance to learn from others who are living the kind of life you admire. I’ve found that the people I most admire are not those with the most money or most impressive jobs but are those with the courage to create lives that fulfill them. I’ve learned a lot from them and developed the ways to live such a life myself.
Post by lessingham on Dec 17, 2019 14:42:38 GMT -5
It was a good event. For guys who had never met in 40 years we did more than okay. A retrospective sadness that I had actually missed such good people in my life. But as we do the hard social thing, we find they are not so hard. The funniest, and most blokish moment, came at the end. One guy said he had so enjoyed the meal, he had settled the bill. He was buried in a snowstorm of 10 pound notes, everyone laughing and joking.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5