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Post by smith227 on Apr 21, 2019 7:03:13 GMT -5
Not even a tree. I know my marriage wasn’t even a tree. It’s was a tiny little twig. And I’m missing the forrest for a twig. I’m thinking that leaving was a mistake right now. This man never even gave me a second thought. He was only interested in having a warm body beside him while he enjoyed his routines of constant internet and video games. I made every concession I could for him including living with two cats that he didn’t give a shit about, that he refused to rehome even though I was CONSTANTLY sick and taking medicine bc I’m allergic. BUT all I can think about are the small things he would do to keep me around and how I could have tried harder. Wtf is wrong with me? Oh, and it’s Easter. I’m 9 hours away from any friends or family. This is hard.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Apr 21, 2019 7:35:29 GMT -5
Oh, gosh, so sorry you are struggling today. It can be easy to second-guess when we remember the good moments, but all of the not so good ones are the reasons we left our marriages. Holidays can make the lonely feelings even worse; been there, it gets easier with time. Do you have anywhere you can go today: nature path, museum, movie? Getting out and about can help. Sending positive thoughts and strength for you to get through today
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Post by sadkat on Apr 21, 2019 9:13:45 GMT -5
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time of it. What you’re feeling is normal. I’ve felt the same way a few times over the last month. What you’re doing is not easy and you’re bound to go through some regret and doubt. Hang in there- things WILL get better! I’m also far away from family but they are only a phone call (or text) away. A call to just chat may be in order. You’ll get through this and you’ll see you’ve made the right decision. Hugs to you!
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Post by angeleyes65 on Apr 21, 2019 9:25:19 GMT -5
Not even a tree. I know my marriage wasn’t even a tree. It’s was a tiny little twig. And I’m missing the forrest for a twig. I’m thinking that leaving was a mistake right now. This man never even gave me a second thought. He was only interested in having a warm body beside him while he enjoyed his routines of constant internet and video games. I made every concession I could for him including living with two cats that he didn’t give a shit about, that he refused to rehome even though I was CONSTANTLY sick and taking medicine bc I’m allergic. BUT all I can think about are the small things he would do to keep me around and how I could have tried harder. Wtf is wrong with me? Oh, and it’s Easter. I’m 9 hours away from any friends or family. This is hard. Some days are harder than others. I also have no family where I'm lived with my ex. I moved here for his job. But I do have my adult children . But I lived here so long I have no urge move back now. You can do this and life will be so much better in the end. You deserve better. Holidays have a way of mind fucking us. Both my Christmas's were awkward so far hopefully the 3rd one will be the new normal. |
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Post by warmways on Apr 21, 2019 10:29:14 GMT -5
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I felt the same way for months after leaving and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy. I was astonished when I felt so much emotional turmoil and pain when I assumed I’d be mostly relieved and happy. Those feelings will come later. People would tell me that if they had let me know it would feel so rough I would never have left. Probably true. I think a lot of us go through this but it’s not really discussed so when we experience it we’re like WTF!!!
Try to hang in knowing eventually it’s true what people say: it will get better. I left in August and officially divorced Feb 20. I think it took about four months for me.
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Post by choosinghappy on Apr 22, 2019 20:13:48 GMT -5
I hope you’re doing better today smith227. I think ups and downs are normal and some days will be harder than others. But notice that in your post you said you were feeling like leaving was a mistake and then proceeded to tell us all the ways he was a terrible husband. Remind yourself of those reasons he was an awful partner. Regularly, if you have to. Write in a journal. Pour it all out. Reread it when you’re feeling weak or sad like yesterday. It was not a mistake. And you know that in your gut. You don’t deserve to be as miserable as you were in that marriage. |
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