Post by Rhapsodee on Apr 20, 2019 1:46:17 GMT -5
Bill, widowed for 2 years found me on AM last year. He wanted a simple sexual relationship with no hang ups or emotions. It didn’t work out. I fell in love. I ended the relationship. I told him that I could not do this with him. I told him that I had fallen in love with him. I told him I was in jeopardy of destroying my life. He needed to find someone else. He back lashed and told me that I am very good at making men want me. Then he said that I am an amazing strong woman to break up with someone I am in love with.
After a year of non-communication, I had healed and moved on. He contacted me New Year’s Day and a week later we met for lunch at a resort near me. We walked and talked and kissed for three hours. We both cried and talked about what happened the previous year. It was as if no time had passed. We were so perfectly comfortable with each other. We hugged and kissed good bye.
No contact until April 16, Tuesday. I was working in the garage and had a sudden urge to contact him and ask him for lunch the next week. I sent a text and he replied immediately. He wanted to see me the next day at a resort that is midway between his farm and the coast.
We had a good talk during lunch. I was, as always truly honest about who I am and my situation. I told him that I am completely self made. I told him of when I was 23 years old with a baby. I was completely beaten down by my alcoholic husband and financial stress. I saw a woman my age with a baby. She was beautiful and well dressed. I decided that I wanted to look like her. I needed to change myself and make a better life. I told him how I ended up where I am, in a sexless marriage. The need to feel safe. I am safe. He was appalled that I have no money of my own. He asked if there was anyone that I would leave my husband for to have a better life. I told him no. He asked why not. I told him that it would be stupid. Where would I be if things didn’t work out? I was letting him know that I would not risk even for him. Then after a little thought I qualified that by saying that I would of course survive, I’m very good at surviving.
We talked about his dating. He has been through more than 200 meet and greets. He has had two relationships lasting longer than a month. Each woman had something lacking. He says that I’m the only woman he has ever wanted to see more than once. However, he has specific requirements in a mate:
Socio-economics - I’m unsuitable.
Education/intelligence - I’m unsuitable
Faith in God - I’m suitable.
Friends compatibility - N/A
Family compatibility- I’m unsuitable because I’m married.
He told me that I’m the only woman he finds impossible to resist. I’m the only woman he wanted to spend more and more time with. But alas, I am unsuitable.
He told me about an elite dating site he signed up for. The fee is well over $10,000 for both men and women. He met Debbie, who is a developer in Santa Barbara. She meets all his qualifications. He drives 3-1/2 hours from his farm to see her on weekends. Four months in the relationship and they have not had sex.
We went for a walk after lunch. He pulled me in and started kissing me. I became completely aroused. He really wanted me too. We were on our way to get a room. It didn’t feel right. I stopped him and asked him about his new girlfriend of four months. I asked if he really wanted to do something he would regret later. I told him that I did not want to be a source of resentment. He was shocked and said no he didn’t want to do that. I said good, we will not. He sighed and said “again, you are the strong one”.
We found a sitting area and sat and talked. He told me that he had been praying that morning I contacted him. He was looking for an answer and a sign that he was on the right path with this new woman. He believes God’s answer was to send me to test him. Me, the only woman he cannot resist. I must be bad thing in his mind.
He told me more about his new girlfriend. He took her to his sons wedding in Argentina. They spent several days sleeping in the same bed in a hotel in a romantic city without having sex. I told him I would have been extremely angry with him if he had done that to me. He replied that sex ruins things and makes things move too fast, involving emotions which leads to bad decisions. I asked if there was any chemistry between them and he exclaimed oh yes! Really? If there was chemistry between them, he would have had sex with her..
As we were talking, he went over and over the important things for a relationship. It’s all about the socioeconomic and family compatibility for him. Cold.
His foreman called. He had to leave to go get a part for a pump at the farm. He asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day. I told him I was going to dance. He said he would meet me there, he wanted to dance with me.
He drove for 1-1/2 hours to be with me at the dance hall. I taught him to two step and another couples dance. He sat close to me with his hand on my knee in a possessive manner. I was uncomfortable with that because everyone knows I’m married.
Around 9:30 he was ready to leave and I walked him to his car. He took me into his arms and kissed me and hugged me tightly and thanked me for being his friend.
I had to put this all down so I can let him go. Again. Unsuitable me.