|
|
Post by isthisit on Apr 17, 2019 18:15:39 GMT -5
I am recently out of my deal, and currently content to be working on getting my act together coming to terms with what has happened and getting comfortable in my own skin again. I am in no hurry really to date as things feel plenty complex enough as it is.
However, last weekend I was given a phone number by a friend, a guy he knows and briefly introduced me to would like to meet up with me. Low stress, no expectations, just took a shine to me.
I last went on a first date in January 1996, and before that it was June 1989. And that’s it.... yup total. So some practice might be in order, and just a little excitement would be welcome right now.
It’s the blind date bit that’s holding me back I think, so I wondered what the collective thoughts and experiences of ILIASMers are of blind dates? Humorous disaster stories are particularly welcome!
What could I be letting myself in for?
|
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Apr 17, 2019 19:00:03 GMT -5
Student: “How can I avoid mistakes?”
Wise man: “With experience.”
Student: “But how do I get experience?”
Wise man: “By making mistakes.”
Harshly, it’s a disposable opportunity to wade into the shallow end of the swimming pool. Make an escape plan. Have a friend who’s in the loop and can call to check on you / trigger the escape plan.
The guy is a referral, which hopefully means he’s at least filtered from being a stalker or a complete loser. Meet for coffee, chat, and practice finding conversation topics. I suggest avoiding Brexit, elections, immigration, ... 😉
I.e., if you cover your bases for safety, there’s little harm in having a conversation. And it will give you an idea how to judge future advice from this friend.
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Apr 17, 2019 19:04:53 GMT -5
I'd rather be set up by friend on a date with someone they know than to go on a date with someone I connected with on a dating site. It would be harder for the friend of a friend to misrepresent themself the way people on dating sites do who lie about their looks, profession and even their marital status.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Apr 17, 2019 19:26:58 GMT -5
I am recently out of my deal, and currently content to be working on getting my act together coming to terms with what has happened and getting comfortable in my own skin again. I am in no hurry really to date as things feel plenty complex enough as it is. However, last weekend I was given a phone number by a friend, a guy he knows and briefly introduced me to would like to meet up with me. Low stress, no expectations, just took a shine to me. I last went on a first date in January 1996, and before that it was June 1989. And that’s it.... yup total. So some practice might be in order, and just a little excitement would be welcome right now. It’s the blind date bit that’s holding me back I think, so I wondered what the collective thoughts and experiences of ILIASMers are of blind dates? Humorous disaster stories are particularly welcome! What could I be letting myself in for? You could be letting yourself in for - - an encounter with an axe murderer - the initial meeting with the love of your life Or, most likely, something somewhere between those two extremes. Your idea of taking it as "practice" seems very sensible. |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Apr 18, 2019 11:42:00 GMT -5
I met my SM ex on a blind date. We were introduced by someone neither of us trusted or actually liked. So you could say I'm biased 😂
What are your thoughts of the matchmaker. Do you trust him/her?
|
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Apr 18, 2019 14:45:56 GMT -5
Well yes I do, as my friend is a great guy, mature, sensible and emotionally intelligent. But, we haven’t known each other too long - around a year and a half so he doesn’t know me that well. He just thought we would get along.
It goes without saying I would only meet in a safe public place with a clear exit strategy if he turned out to be a numpty.
I think I am going to give it a whirl, where’s the harm? (Well, I keep hearing blind date horror stories the worst of which involves a date arriving with something very unexpected.... an extra chromosome.... argh!)
As this is a ‘referral’ blind date at least I should be okay with that. For anyone interested in what dating is like after a 23 year hiatus, I will let you guys know how it goes.
|
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Apr 18, 2019 14:51:59 GMT -5
isthisit- “numpty”. I love that word! It’s the first time I’ve heard it. Is this a commonly used word in your neck of the woods or did you make it up? As for your blind date adventure- I’m looking forward to an update!
|
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Apr 18, 2019 15:00:41 GMT -5
isthisit - “numpty”. I love that word! It’s the first time I’ve heard it. Is this a commonly used word in your neck of the woods or did you make it up? As for your blind date adventure- I’m looking forward to an update! Oh no, numpty is regular parlance here. It means plonker. I didn’t realise that this was not internationally recognised! The cultural exchange here is such fun at times. Sure, I will update you on the dating adventures of a horribly inexperienced middle aged woman. |
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Apr 18, 2019 15:32:46 GMT -5
I never heard of both terms, so defining one by the other resulted in zero understanding.
Thanks to "Urban dictionary" I understand both terms.
Numpty
a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of other.
b) A person who is incapable of performing the simplest of task correctly. Usual symptoms include poor hand-eye coordination, zero common sense and the general illusion that they are special (caused by parents referring to them as such and the numpty not fully grasping the meaning implied).
c) A person who never has or never will have a f*ing clue what he is doing
Plonker
a) A stupid person, dope, idiot, moron, wally, pillock, dunderhead, dimwit.
b) Ploker started out as a reference to someone who was forever drunk on cheap wine (cheap wine is nicknamed plonk). Today the term plonker is a very light hearted insult. Its not even seen as an insult, its like calling someone a wally. Its in no way ment maliciously. you call someone a plonker when they say or do something stupid.
c) Almost any penis, but not a very small one.
|
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Apr 18, 2019 18:53:46 GMT -5
A person who never has or never will have a f*ing clue what he is doing Yup this covers it all nicely. Pillock is another favourite, nice one Handy . |
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Apr 21, 2019 17:06:36 GMT -5
isthisit - “numpty”. I love that word! It’s the first time I’ve heard it. Is this a commonly used word in your neck of the woods or did you make it up? As for your blind date adventure- I’m looking forward to an update! So I went on my blind date last night and it was an unmitigated disaster. The guy was a complete balloon from beginning to end. But there was a silver lining. Crime #1: (He seemed to think he was my dad). The date started off by him telling me off about the music in my car being too loud when I was parking.(It was Porch by Pearl Jam, admittedly a feisty little tune). He quoted noise abatement byelaws blah blah. Because I am nice I put that aside and offered him chance at redemption. Sadly this was a mistake. Crime #2 ( He became a boring fart). Mostly what he knew about me related to work so brought up the scintillating topics of inferential statistical analysis and parametric vs non parametric handing of quantitative data- yes on a date. And he was full of shit on the topic. Crime #3 ( Wanks his own ego about this position at work) ‘ the guys hadn’t yet got used to calling me Chief Inspector from Inspector before I became Superintendent...’ Geez calm down mate we’ve all been promoted. Crime #4 (Appears to believe all is going well) asks to meet up again... Urgh. So, it was so bad on reflection it’s now amusing. The valuable bit amongst all of the nonsense is that he revealed why he asked our mutual friend to pass along his number ie what it was about me that appealed to him, and I was very surprised. He told me that when we briefly met I demonstrated a composure and self assurance which he found ‘sexy’. I’m not clear how I managed that, but it’s interesting anyway. It seems that what attracts the middle aged man is quite different than last time I was dating, so I guess that’s valuable to know. If I am being philosophical. So sadkat has my tale of woe put you off?! |
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Apr 21, 2019 18:38:11 GMT -5
Not at all isthisit! In fact, I found your tale highly entertaining! Although, I am sorry you had such a rough date! Just think- you have all of us here to entertain with your blind date stories. As for the possibility of me going on a blind date after seeing your story... yeah, maybe I’ll wait a while. 😂. Thanks for sharing your disaster of a blind date with us! |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2019 19:03:58 GMT -5
Chalk it up to an amusing experience, but don't let it dissuade you! Lots more unmitigated disasters likely in your future to learn more about who you are, what you are, what you want, and what you don't want. In the meantime, I'm taking notes to try and remember all the new words I just learned and will practice using them in sentences! lol!
Seriously, keep that positive attitude! Plenty of time to perfect your search! Kudos for going at all and not hiding in fear!
|
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Apr 21, 2019 22:10:31 GMT -5
Isthisit, just think the blind date results an little to no compatibility for you, not so much the guy is a dud. It makes it easier on you if you can think that way.
|
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Apr 21, 2019 23:12:09 GMT -5
isthisit... bless you for giving this poor sod a chance - goodness knows, he clearly needs practice at dating!! Now you need to decide whether to have a chat with your mutual friend about his utter failure to filter. You really should consider keeping a journal... Some of this stuff you just couldn’t make up. Wow.
|
|
