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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 9, 2019 14:32:01 GMT -5
www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/friendship-20/201405/6-signs-your-partner-is-facebook-cheating?fbclid=IwAR2o0odBP07Uxj_6rt8q-r8ek-QLycSz8eVrmq57IQL3ATDVuB9hwLKk668I related to this article in a couple of different ways. My ex avoided any intimacy by always being on the computer, or reading a book. My ex was always laughing or grinning to things she read on fakebook, and never shared them. Even when i asked about them she would avoid sharing them. My ex had 100's of passwords. Hiding affairs? No. Hiding money and control? YES!! My ex vehemently objected when asked to see things on the computer, like our tax returns! My ex spent more time colluding on line with her sister than she did trying to communicate with her spouse. My ex's career revolves around a computer, so does much of her time when not at work. ( like an addiction) Me.I found myself, in between my years of during and after the divorce, seeking comfort through comoradarity, and knowledge that I gained from this sight and other sights on my computer. Later, once I knew my marriage was over, came the world of online flirting which I only stuck my foot into. I am now very aware of how much time I spend communicating online, verses communicating face to face to others. Others that are now a part of my new beginning.
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Post by Handy on Apr 9, 2019 16:10:24 GMT -5
GC, according to this article, I must be doing some on-line cheating. I did or do a lot of what your X did.
Others on this forum also follow a similar pattern. Maybe people looking to change things have some common traits as cheaters, but for a different or opposite reason.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 9, 2019 18:56:06 GMT -5
GC, according to this article, I must be doing some on-line cheating. I did or do a lot of what your X did. Others on this forum also follow a similar pattern. Maybe people looking to change things have some common traits as cheaters, but for a different or opposite reason. Mmm... I did like the way she ( in the article) explained some of the differences in being on line. What is more normal vs excessive. What level of privacy verses hiding everything. Changing things when involving a manipulative controller, can mean taking control of your life again. You have to out smart, out maneuver them now, by dropping the rope in their tug of war. Change also can mean putting up a wall to protect yourself. A boundary. Detaching yourself from a toxic environment, while rebuilding yourself. Communicating with someone new- cheating ( I so despise having to use that word, it's wrong in these situations, but I digress) Our spouses put up their walls to avoid, detach, and reverse so they can manipulate to get what they want, their way, their rules, with absolutely no empathy. Narcissism. ( and they use sights like facebook to do it) ( it's also called their minions or flying monkeys) When a spouse says I don't want to have sex with you/or anyone ever again, they have no more say in what you do with sex and intimacy in your life. That spills over into many other areas as well, finances, time, disciplining children, etc......
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Post by Handy on Apr 10, 2019 2:01:07 GMT -5
GC Changing things when involving a manipulative controller, can mean taking control of your life again. You have to out smart, out maneuver them now, by dropping the rope in their tug of war.
by dropping the rope in their tug of war. This is so true.
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