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Post by Handy on Feb 10, 2019 21:19:22 GMT -5
pointbreakgirl, it sounds like you should tell your kids to not tell you anything he tells them. That might be one way to be invisible or immune to your XH's comments.
I have no comment about what a new man or any friend should do or how he should act.
You banging the fire department. Well that is typical of controlling types. The want to control others but can't control them-self. Also smells like he is accusing you of what he might be doing. Well, not the fire department but someone else.
Some women in a similar position reply to their XH with "OH really?" 100% of the time. If you react to him he will keep trying to trigger you. "OH Really? might get old to him and he might just back off. Kids in elementary or junior high school used to come back with "takes one to know one," that got old for the accuser most of the time. At first it will piss him off and when he is tired of being pissed off he will most likely back off.
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yep
Feb 10, 2019 23:03:13 GMT -5
Post by baza on Feb 10, 2019 23:03:13 GMT -5
Many of your questions are going to hinge on the law in your jurisdiction Sister pointbreakgirl , so it would be best to put those questions to your lawyer. As regards the more personal matters (like the qualities a new bloke ought to have), I got nuthin' for you. A "decent human being" would probably be the low water mark / minimum acceptable benchmark. |
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Post by DryCreek on Feb 10, 2019 23:37:13 GMT -5
pointbreakgirl, this sounds a lot more persistent and damaging than badmouthing you. It borders on slander, which your lawyer might be able to do something about. (Normal recourse is a civil lawsuit, usually requiring a credible first-hand witness, but maybe the family court has an easier option.) As for his failed custody times, this is another great topic to discuss with your lawyer, specific to your jurisdiction. Hopefully, you’ve been documenting every instance. I can’t imagine the court will continue to allow him reduced child support if he’s not actually taking custody, and his lack of interest would surely influence your argument for sole custody.
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Feb 11, 2019 1:39:24 GMT -5
Today he told my kids that my boobs are saggy and his are firmer and he is sexier. What kind of sick asshole would make that kind of comment to his own kids about their mother? And why would he think they want to hear about how he thinks he is sexier? I doubt you know the answer to this one but how the hell did this come up? I have no idea what you should do about this but in my opinion a guy that would say those kinds of things to kids does not deserve the PRIVILEGE of seeing your kids. I hope you will be able to get him to keep his word hole shut in the future but something tells me the only way this guy will learn a lesson is if someone visits him with a pillowcase full of door knobs. |
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Post by Handy on Feb 11, 2019 2:12:37 GMT -5
What kind of sick asshole would make that kind of comment to his own kids about their mother.
I totally agree. Kids do not want to hear that kind of talk. Your H has some mental issues OR he is trying to cover up HIS insecurities by putting you down.
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 11, 2019 9:57:52 GMT -5
“Today he told my kids that my boobs are saggy and his are firmer and he is sexier.”
What kind of sicko compares his tits to a woman? What kind of sucko tells his kids such crap?
Tell your kids not to tell you what their dad said. And tell them that if he shares info that makes them uncomfortable they should tell him to stop and if he doesn’t they should walk away.
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