|
Post by elkclan2 on Feb 9, 2019 5:56:26 GMT -5
OMG, I've heard a million. Stomach, tired, I view sex as a leisure activity and it's term time so we'll have to wait until term is over (that one sparked me outsourcing after term break came and went with no sex).
I just told my own though recently. I fell in the bathroom this week and bruised my coccyx. I really didn't feel like having sex. Day 2 I was still sore and worried PIV would cause problems so I gave him a blow job. Day 3 I said "you'll have to go slow and I may make you change positions".
My former affair partner and I both have very dodgy knees. Usually flare-ups didn't happen at the same time so we could work around. Once we were both in serious pain, it was awkward but we laughed about it and did just fine anyway.
If you want to have sex it's not hard to find a reason. If you don't want to have sex it's not hard to find an excuse.
|
|
|
Post by flounder on Feb 9, 2019 6:13:32 GMT -5
My favorite is the excuse and then promise of another time. “I’m to tired,I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
Just like me,tomorrow never comes...
|
|
|
Post by flounder on Feb 9, 2019 6:14:14 GMT -5
My favorite(?) excuse: "I won't give you a blow job because oral sex causes throat cancer. That's what happened to Michael Douglas." Me: "I read on the Internet that bacon causes cancer, too, but you haven't given that up." Winner.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2019 7:19:48 GMT -5
Thanks for the chuckles, all. I was told last night he was tired and Friday nights were his night to unwind (a new one!). So I said, tomorrow is Saturday. Will you be tired tomorrow? He couldn't look at me in the face and simply said, No, I will not be tired tomorrow. Sounds like a frolicking good time will be had here today. Ha! Time will tell. baza Yes, we all have our reasons for staying (for a while or forever). I've 2 more things to find out to know in my heart I've done all I could. The clock is ticking. I just needed some humor tonight.
|
|
|
Post by flounder on Feb 9, 2019 7:27:05 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by lessingham on Feb 9, 2019 7:53:19 GMT -5
Don't forget shower excuses, just had one, need one, you need one, you just had one etc
|
|
|
Post by tirefire on Feb 9, 2019 8:26:52 GMT -5
Thanks for the chuckles, all. I was told last night he was tired and Friday nights were his night to unwind (a new one!). Unwind?!? What the hell? If I need to unwind, I'm going to want to "unwind" with my sweetie. Nothing like that great unwound feeling afterwards. 😁
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2019 8:32:16 GMT -5
Thanks for the chuckles, all. I was told last night he was tired and Friday nights were his night to unwind (a new one!). Unwind?!? What the hell? If I need to unwind, I'm going to want to "unwind" with my sweetie. Nothing like that great unwound feeling afterwards. 😁 Right?! Isnt sex the BEST stress reliever, like ever?! Sigh ..... He's got so much baggage and I'm trying to go thru it with him. Seems I'm trying to help him unpack while he's still hanging on living out of suitcases. smh
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Feb 9, 2019 11:10:14 GMT -5
OMG, I've heard a million. Stomach, tired, I view sex as a leisure activity and it's term time so we'll have to wait until term is over (that one sparked me outsourcing after term break came and went with no sex). I just told my own though recently. I fell in the bathroom this week and bruised my coccyx. I really didn't feel like having sex. Day 2 I was still sore and worried PIV would cause problems so I gave him a blow job. Day 3 I said "you'll have to go slow and I may make you change positions". My former affair partner and I both have very dodgy knees. Usually flare-ups didn't happen at the same time so we could work around. Once we were both in serious pain, it was awkward but we laughed about it and did just fine anyway. If you want to have sex it's not hard to find a reason. If you don't want to have sex it's not hard to find an excuse. You prove what I had to convince myself...if she loved me and desired me she would make it happen. She doesn't and so she won't. Sometimes I get so mad at myself for wasting all these years trying to be compassionate and understanding when really it was all BS.
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Feb 9, 2019 11:18:35 GMT -5
From two weeks ago - Me: You look nice. I would like to go down on you. Her: How long are planning to do it because I don't want to orgasm. Me: WTF! Huh??? Who in their right mind would not want an orgasm??? Makes absolutely no sense to me. I perfectly understand, I've heard something similar from my wife. I love to "go down" and when I do it, I do it for her pleasure and enjoyment, which actually makes me turned on. . I think the rejections from her for even offering it has hurt me deeply and made me question if it was me being the problem or not satisfying her and I couldn't get her to talk about it. It hurt me deeply.
I hope one of these days to find someone who will enjoy me doing that to her.
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Feb 9, 2019 11:33:31 GMT -5
My favorite(?) excuse: "I won't give you a blow job because oral sex causes throat cancer. That's what happened to Michael Douglas." Me: "I read on the Internet that bacon causes cancer, too, but you haven't given that up." Well good old California has warning signs on damn near everything saying it can cause cancer. For anyone who lives in California, you know what I'm talking about. So you could have plenty of responses back to her.
Examples: She wants you to use your charcoal BBQ grill to make dinner: "I won't grill on the BBQ because the State of California has determined that the BBQ charcoal smoke getting on to the food can cause cancer."
She wants you to fill her car with gas. "I won't fill your car with gas because the State of California has determined that fumes from gasoline can cause cancer."
She wants you to go to Wendy's and get her some French fries. "I won't because the State of California has determined that the process that causes the fries to brown can cause cancer." (I'm not kidding about this one. When I read that I just started laughing and thought, "Of course it does, why the hell not!")
Kind of reminds me of the joke I use to tell people - Do you know the number 1 cause of death?
Birth
Because if you're born, you're going to die.
|
|
|
Post by choosinghappy on Feb 9, 2019 12:52:14 GMT -5
OMG, I've heard a million. Stomach, tired, I view sex as a leisure activity and it's term time so we'll have to wait until term is over (that one sparked me outsourcing after term break came and went with no sex). I just told my own though recently. I fell in the bathroom this week and bruised my coccyx. I really didn't feel like having sex. Day 2 I was still sore and worried PIV would cause problems so I gave him a blow job. Day 3 I said "you'll have to go slow and I may make you change positions". My former affair partner and I both have very dodgy knees. Usually flare-ups didn't happen at the same time so we could work around. Once we were both in serious pain, it was awkward but we laughed about it and did just fine anyway. If you want to have sex it's not hard to find a reason. If you don't want to have sex it's not hard to find an excuse. You prove what I had to convince myself...if she loved me and desired me she would make it happen. She doesn't and so she won't. Sometimes I get so mad at myself for wasting all these years trying to be compassionate and understanding when really it was all BS. I know how you feel solodriver. I would sometimes get angry at myself for that same thing. But then I remember: that just means I am a good person. You are moving on and what matters now is what’s in front of you, not what’s in the rearview mirror.
|
|
|
Post by smith227 on Feb 9, 2019 17:49:53 GMT -5
I often don’t get excuses, bc I stopped trying. But what he used to do before I moved into the spare bedroom, was avoid me. If I went to bed at midnight? He’d stay up til 6am. If I ever was awake when he came to bed, he’d claim back pain and curl up on the floor with his cats on his chest. He once told me that nothing feels better to a man than the weight of a cat laying on his chest. If I sat too close on the sofa? He’d suddenly move the throw pillows and make a barrier between us. And of course if I accidentally touched him while sleeping I was immediately woken up and told to move over. Blah, blah, rinse and repeat.
|
|
|
Post by lifeinwoodinville on Feb 10, 2019 10:17:30 GMT -5
He once told me that nothing feels better to a man than the weight of a cat laying on his chest. Right idea, wrong kind of pussy.
|
|
|
Post by carl on Feb 10, 2019 16:39:52 GMT -5
Oh I could make lists of hundreds of excuses. The last one I was prepared to listen to was something along the lines of “ I don’t like anything in my life and everything in the whole world it is all one hundred percent entirely YOUR fault and I want to know what you are going to do about it” I think I even thought for moment to try to explain that maybe it might not be ?? But I’ve heard the last excuse a little while ago now and I will never hear another. I would rather take celibacy to the grave.
|
|