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Post by solodriver on Feb 7, 2019 22:09:42 GMT -5
I had similar experiences with watching couples together and seeing a natural intimacy that I never had. When they discover something together you see them reach out for each other. Maybe she touches his arm, he puts a hand on her lower back. They walk together holding hands or arm in arm. Who knows, maybe they irritate others by blocking pedestrian traffic in the mall when they stop for a quick kiss for a reason no one else can see. What this represents to me is that you are seeing that bit of the iceberg that is above the water. That couple is kind to each other, longs for each other, and yes, they probably had (unnegotiated, not prearranged) sex before getting to the mall. (I don't even like going to the mall but you get the idea. Maybe this was why? 😊) Since choosinghappy and I have been together, I discover all these other things that melt me and they aren't small, they are tiny! If we are holding hands and she has to take her hand away for something, she takes my hand again when she is done. She actually likes having fingers intertwined. I just kind of assumed my knuckles were too big and bony for anyone to want that. She smiles when I take her hand. That's the biggest little thing. The fact that I can make her happy. I'm honestly surprised that I can even reach out properly to hold hands because I have trouble walking normally around her. She pretends not to notice I think but my feet get kind of clutzy or uneven on the ground as we start out together. It's the butterflies. She's amazing and beautiful and funny and kind and makes me stumble just a bit on perfectly flat asphalt.😂 If I ever have another love in my life, I probably won't be able to walk either!  |
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Post by workingonit on Feb 7, 2019 22:18:19 GMT -5
Loved reading this and I can relate so much. One of the reasons I left my first marriage was lack of touch in general, plus, obviously, no sex for ten years. But those touches mean just as much to me and the thought of never having my knee squeezed, neck kissed or hand lovingly held was the catalyst that spurred me towards divorce. I've been married to the only love of my life for over 3 years, together 5..... we still kiss, caress, squeeze knees in the car or at the movies or at the restaurant or a wedding or funeral....etc.... In public he pulls me close, rubs my back, kisses my forehead. All natural. All genuine. Its us. How we are. Still. And it's not fading. It is real. It is not just a honeymoon phase. Some couples are just as happy as they appear to be. Enjoy the journey!! Dreamy! Enjoy every minute. The desert wasteland of affection that is my marriage makes me doubt this can happen. Thanks for the proof sister! |
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 8, 2019 9:11:36 GMT -5
My post SM lover of 6 years and I sleep naked, typically with him embracing me. I woke up this morning to his saying in my ear, “This is when I love you the most. I like to keep you safe.”
Before sleeping, we always cuddle a while with my head on his shoulder. Whether or not we make love, we kiss and say, “I love you.” It’s our favorite time of the day.
These are some of our treasured rituals that bond us.
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Post by richfairy72 on Feb 8, 2019 17:58:50 GMT -5
For me, it was the realisation that it wasn't just the sex that was missing. It was the connection shown in a million tiny ways that just wasn't there.
I'm now with someone who blows me away regularly with things others would not even notice. ...making me a drink, carrying a heavy bag, putting my rain-soaked things out to dry, the kiss on the forehead, reaching out for my hand, squeezing my leg, a hand on my back but it was our first meeting that sticks in my mind. ..he simply stroked my arm, I stroked his hand and it blew me away.
So yes, it's it definitely is the little things......
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Post by solodriver on Feb 8, 2019 21:26:36 GMT -5
Wow, your post made tears come to my eyes. I haven't had any of those things in over 20 years. I actually forgot what any of that feels like.
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