I'm ready to talk about my post divorce "relationship"

Perhaps time does not heal all wounds, but I think it allows for healing the majority of them. I remember you from the old EP days. You will find some of the carryover from that site here and I believe you will find a good deal of empathy here for the damage done to you by the time spent in a SM. Many here shared similar experiences. Your experience is especially traumatic because it still isn't over. Even following the divorce your X is still doing things when he can to torment you and make your life pretty miserable. It's terribly unfair to you. And to your children. I don't know if there is anything you can do legally to rein him in but I would talk to my attorney if I were you.
Do as much as you can to rebuild your self esteem. I remember seeing pictures of you. You clearly are a very attractive woman. Your resent trip to a local pub and the attention you drew from the male patrons confirms your physical attractiveness. Rebuilding you self esteem may take some time. Small incremental step may be all you can do starting off, but even small steps add up and will eventually get you closer to your destination of no longer feeling broken.
Take all the time you need before you put yourself back out there. What ever you are looking for will still be there 6months, a year or 2 years from now. Time can be your friend this time around.