Post by baza on Jan 9, 2019 21:13:45 GMT -5
Something Sister WindSister said this (on another post) recently in regard to divorce -
"And..... well..... maybe you aren't really breaking up the family after all. You are saving yourself. You are providing your stbx a chance at his own happiness (if he chooses to take it is on him not you). Mom and Dad are still Mom and Dad"
I just wanted to add to that, but not on her thread.
If you let all the emotional air out of the balloon, it looks like this .........
Any marriage is a union between individuals.
In a marriage, the two spouses are running their own agendas.
In a functional marriage, these individual agendas are similar and/or complementary to each other. (Sister WindSister 's situation would be a good example of that)
In a dysfunctional marriage, these individual agendas are very different and/or noncomplementary to each other. (Sister workingonit 's current situation would be an example of that)
If the dysfunctional situation is egregious enough, one of the spouses may move to divorce.
This effectively returns the spouses to their individual status, free to pursue their respective individual agenda's.
In instances where there are minor children involved, the parental responsibilities remain, even if the marriage does not.
That's the "emotional air out of the balloon" scenario.
"And..... well..... maybe you aren't really breaking up the family after all. You are saving yourself. You are providing your stbx a chance at his own happiness (if he chooses to take it is on him not you). Mom and Dad are still Mom and Dad"
I just wanted to add to that, but not on her thread.
If you let all the emotional air out of the balloon, it looks like this .........
Any marriage is a union between individuals.
In a marriage, the two spouses are running their own agendas.
In a functional marriage, these individual agendas are similar and/or complementary to each other. (Sister WindSister 's situation would be a good example of that)
In a dysfunctional marriage, these individual agendas are very different and/or noncomplementary to each other. (Sister workingonit 's current situation would be an example of that)
If the dysfunctional situation is egregious enough, one of the spouses may move to divorce.
This effectively returns the spouses to their individual status, free to pursue their respective individual agenda's.
In instances where there are minor children involved, the parental responsibilities remain, even if the marriage does not.
That's the "emotional air out of the balloon" scenario.
